Is That An Eye Patch?

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A) I'm confused.
B) On the mobile Slog site, there's no jump.
C) MY EYES! AAAAAAHHHH!

Dr_Awesome on August 18, 2011 at 8:37 AM

My eyes!

catballou on August 18, 2011 at 8:40 AM

Dan you have to give credit to Fnarf for posting this the other day - http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archive…

apres_moi on August 18, 2011 at 8:40 AM

Is the nice man modeling this garment a FTM transsexual? If not, where's his penis? Inquiring minds want to know.

bigg on August 18, 2011 at 8:40 AM

I don't understand. Where'd his penis go?

seandr on August 18, 2011 at 8:41 AM

I think I'm going to spend the rest of the day curled up in a dark room...

carriemcc on August 18, 2011 at 8:41 AM

I just threw up in my mouth.

Rotten666 on August 18, 2011 at 8:42 AM

Looks painful.

Fifty-Two-Eighty on August 18, 2011 at 8:43 AM

I prefer to have such depravity posted after 12pm.

Phoebe on NE 79th on August 18, 2011 at 8:43 AM

@4, I believe he's tucking it back. I believe the, er, garment is specially designed to make this happen. God knows how; alligator clip?

And yeah, where's my Slog tip credit? Or would a credit on this damage my prospects for future employment, or even being allowed to sit with the cool kids?

Fnarf on August 18, 2011 at 8:44 AM

ugh the slightness of our differences between one another (his balls are her ovaries, her tits are his chest without hormones) is so disconcerting sometimes.

that sack looks like labia

six five on August 18, 2011 at 8:48 AM

@10 So his penis is still there, relatively unharmed however humiliated? That makes it just that much more mystifying.

bigg on August 18, 2011 at 8:48 AM

no worse than Silence of the Lambs, but not nearly as funny.

badstone on August 18, 2011 at 8:50 AM

When the feed comes into Google Reader there is no jump... what a way to wake up this morning.

InfinitePest on August 18, 2011 at 8:55 AM

So this is what they won't show you on RuPaul's Drag Race. I'd still hit it from the back.

Jersey on August 18, 2011 at 8:55 AM

Oh -- sorry about that Fnarf. I didn't see your link; someone else emailed me about it. And I didn't credit him either... because I'm a monster.

For penance I should have to wear one of those things the next time I'm on Maher.

Dan Savage on August 18, 2011 at 8:55 AM Stranger Staff

Oh my god:

From the website:
"The design is based on our currently best selling vagina-style suit, the Changed Man. We now offer it in bikini form. It has the same amazing front pouch lets any man touch his feminine side by creating a virtual pussy out of his cock. The look is so compelling that when the Changed Man G-string was introduced it was not only the best selling fem-style suit, but quickly became our best selling design which just blew us away. Guess there are more open minded men and women than we gave credit. The Change Man Bikini allows you the freedom to wear a moderate full back bikini and still have your beautiful lips exposed. Simply magnificent."

on August 18, 2011 at 8:55 AM

Dan what does your Sex at Dawn confirmation bias bible say about the evolutionary psychology of why we are repulsed by this stuff when recently awoken?

I'm trying, but thas' nasty.

six five on August 18, 2011 at 8:59 AM

@16, as long as you wear something over it. Maybe two or even three pairs of pants, just to be safe. And be VERY VERY CAREFUL sitting down; no one wants to hear any popping sounds or screaming.

Fnarf on August 18, 2011 at 9:02 AM

Man, Dan is getting a lot of mileage out of that site :-D I wonder how much of their traffic this week has been click-throughs from Slog....

ariane on August 18, 2011 at 9:06 AM

Yeeah, I forgot to smack Fnarf upside the head on Tuesday for posting it in the last thread. I was smart enough not to click on the link this time, so you're getting off easy, Savage.

wisepunk on August 18, 2011 at 9:10 AM

@17: A pennance, Dan, should be something that you DON'T enjoy doing.

Phoebe on NE 79th on August 18, 2011 at 9:12 AM

@21, I'm always on the lookout when you're around, punk. You won't be slapping me. Besides my head is solid bone, slapping won't hurt me. I'll admit you startled me a little at the match there.

Fnarf on August 18, 2011 at 9:13 AM

yes.. but how does it taste ?

reverend dr dj riz on August 18, 2011 at 9:14 AM

I can't believe someone is actually marketing the use of wearing a thong backwards.

suddenlyorcas on August 18, 2011 at 9:17 AM

"yes.. but how does it taste ?"

Tastes just like chicken.

scott (the other one) on August 18, 2011 at 9:40 AM

It's like a really disturbing magic trick.

JrzWrld on August 18, 2011 at 9:44 AM

Dan, how much time are you spending on koalaswim.com at work? And do you know how much time your making me spend on kaolaswim.com at work?!

LukeJoe on August 18, 2011 at 9:45 AM

They have bikinis that fasten to a buttplug. That's all I'm sayin'.

bigg on August 18, 2011 at 10:12 AM

Actually taking Dan's directions, here is the important quote for all you questioners:

It has the same amazing front pouch lets any man touch his feminine side by creating a virtual pussy out of his cock.

You're welcome.

Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on August 18, 2011 at 10:14 AM

I thought a guy could tuck up his junk, like, somewhere up inside himself. Or can (some) guys only do that with their testicles? Or have I been misinformed?

That website, koalaswim, reminds me of those tribesmen of somewhere in the Pacific who wear long gourds on their penises, and not much else. It was in Nat'l Geographic several years ago.

Drusilla on August 18, 2011 at 10:15 AM

@31, the testicles can be persuaded to return to their pre-pubescent home up inside the body, as long as there's something holding them in place, but the penis doesn't have anywhere to go but back. And then there's the sack. Maybe it's cold.

Fnarf on August 18, 2011 at 10:40 AM

Yes. There are various videos (look 'em up yourself, I'm not providing links) explaining how to "tuck back" one's dick (this came out of side collateral from watching a video made by a very cute TG on how to put on makeup). It sounds extraordinarily painful to me, and someone doing that while wearing high heels has WAY more fortitude than I do.

And I have *no* idea what happens if you get aroused. Maybe you can't? Maybe it's REALLY painful? Oi.

BEG on August 18, 2011 at 11:01 AM

I don't get it. But I'm a gold star lesbian. I feel mercifully blessed right about now.

Lola, Missing Iowa City on August 18, 2011 at 11:22 AM

LOL, now he just needs to put on some tight leggings or spandex and sport that man-mel toe like a champ!

debug on August 18, 2011 at 11:45 AM

Well, Dan, please note that the mobile version of Slog doesn't have the "after the jump" option. YIKES.

Teslick on August 18, 2011 at 12:29 PM

Aw, dammit, Dr. Awesome @ 1 beat me to it. I was frantically trying to scroll past the pictures before somebody saw them over my shoulder...

Teslick on August 18, 2011 at 12:32 PM

This is the less-fun way to play "hide-the-sausage".

venomlash on August 18, 2011 at 12:50 PM

I wouldn't want to see anyone's vagina treated like that

niko4ever on August 18, 2011 at 1:40 PM

Maybe it's Time Lord technology.

andynotjamesbond on August 18, 2011 at 2:41 PM

Slog needs a button that lets you "un-jump" after the jump

Jonathank5 on August 18, 2011 at 3:07 PM

@32, but can't they get stuck!?!?!??

Caralain on August 18, 2011 at 3:35 PM

Oh my. The expression on his face says it all. It reminds me of a picture on a box for a strap on that featured a couple. She looked thrilled to have a dick but the man had an expression that said "get me out of this fucking thing now."

All I can say is why would any man want to hide his dick in such an uncomfortable and unpleasant fashion? I think I'm gong to be ill now thanks Dan, really.

alisamc on August 18, 2011 at 3:44 PM

I feel like I need a detailed diagram to even begin to fathom how this works.

Ratatoskr on August 18, 2011 at 5:27 PM

I...

But, it... Wha...

Jesus.

Los_del_Mango on August 19, 2011 at 1:37 AM

It's not gross, it's just confusing.

Aurora Erratic on August 19, 2011 at 3:35 AM

I'm fine with it. The designer seems to be very enthusiastic about making garments that some men want to wear for fun and sexiness. Given that there are plenty of female bikinis that leave nothing to the imagination, I don't see why there shouldn't be opportunities for men to wear bikinis that they can feel sexy in too. Plus, it seems that most aren't meant to be worn in public, so they're more like lingerie; a few items were designed with sunbathing and public nudity standards in mind.

It appears that there are feminizing garments included for MtF or guys who want to do sex/gender play. I'm not sure about the long-term impacts on their health from that, but if they enjoy it, then cool. There are a lot more dangerous things people do to their bodies.

MemeGene on August 19, 2011 at 3:37 PM

I put this on a message board and you may be pleased to know that it resulted in tens of male-bodied individuals trying to stuff their penises into an "innie"... or, as one woman said, "so you've got your dick pushed in like a clickable pen."

Maxine on August 19, 2011 at 3:57 PM

My ex could roll his dick back inside itself. I assumed this was something all men could do. He could also tuck his balls up into his lower abdomen.

Delishuss on August 19, 2011 at 8:42 PM

What was that hook thing stuck up that model's arse? He'll never make it though the airport metal detector.

milemarker on August 20, 2011 at 9:16 AM

@45 & @47 - I agree with y'all on this.

tREBLEFREE on August 20, 2011 at 11:25 AM

Ok, I just don't get it. Why are people so repulsed or disgusted by this? It's just a tucked-back dick.

@31, 50: I can personally tuck my dick inside itself but it comes back out unless there's something to hold it in place. I can also cover it up with my sack but that also folds back out unless it's taped up or something. And that only works if it's soft, obviously.

BlackRose on August 20, 2011 at 5:47 PM

ok... I have been concerned for my nine years young) sub-puberty grandson, who has "a button" and whose younger brother, who is possibly over endowed for his age, is flaunting his "advantage".Is there hope for him, as testosterone kicks in a year or two from now, to be able to function in a male capacity? I know the old adage of "growers v. showers"...

fromthediagonal on August 21, 2011 at 12:03 PM

... explanation... I would not be concerned, if I did not notice his recent reticence to be seen naked. Our family is of the "there are only two kinds of people, and the rest is just variances thereof" philosophy, but I fear that the rest of society (as in sports teams) is beginning to have an impact upon his body image.
Can anyone share insights?

fromthediagonal on August 21, 2011 at 12:21 PM

Meh...So I just saw an icky picture on the internet....My life goes on.

gargoyle5775 on August 21, 2011 at 5:10 PM

@55 - what are the "two kinds of people"? If you are concerned about your grandson's development, I would ask his parents to check with the kid's pediatrician. Do the kids routinely walk around the house naked? At 9, it's normal for a child to develop a sense of modesty.

EricaP on August 21, 2011 at 5:49 PM

@55, 57: I think #55 meant males and females (though there is also a blurry area in between).

It's pretty much impossible to protect a person from the media having an impact on his or her body image. It happens. Though you can definitely help kids feel more confident about their bodies by encouraging them to be physically active and explaining that media images aren't real, and also explaining how human development works and that no one looks good at 9. And like Erica said I'm guessing him not wanting to be seen naked isn't just about his dick, it's also about him growing up. (Though I never developed a "sense of modesty" and don't really understand the idea, I know it's pretty common.)

There are hormonal therapies that can increase dick size (typically used for people who have early/late puberty) but they do have some significant side effects. His dick will almost certainly grow a lot in the next seven years or so and it's hard to tell where he will end up.

BlackRose on August 21, 2011 at 6:23 PM

@58, Well alive vs. dead seems more crucial than gender, at least to me... Maybe #55 meant saved vs. unsaved... There's also culture, generation, politics, sexuality, dickishness... Many ways of understanding people, or overgeneralizing about them.

EricaP on August 21, 2011 at 8:50 PM

@59: Right, but none of those are relevant in the context of seeing people's nude bodies, whereas it's very common to say that all males/females are the same underneath their clothes, or that nudity is not a big deal because people won't see anything they haven't seen before.

BlackRose on August 22, 2011 at 5:06 AM

Thank you, BlackRose, for understanding my brief question/comment and addressing it in an informative way. It is appreciated.

fromthediagonal on August 22, 2011 at 5:43 AM

@55,57,58: if the kid is uncomfortable, why not allow the boy his dignity? maybe he is just an "old fashioned" guy and isn't really into being public about his pubic. maybe he's a little guy who likes his privacy, for whatever reason. I say give it to him. making him feel he should act other than he feels when it comes to his "private area" is psychological sexual abuse. leave him alone and he'll blossom. push him and he'll grow up with a bad memory of people thinking he was weird just because he didn't want to flash his junk. wanting privacy is not weird. and just on a side note, one of the most gianormous dicks I every saw bloomed from a "button". talk about your "lethal weapon" yowsahhhhhhhh!!!

on August 22, 2011 at 5:44 PM

@62: Because, there is a concern that there may be a medical problem that needs to be handled now. Which is why taking the kid to several specialists to make sure is a good idea.

BlackRose on August 23, 2011 at 6:40 AM

that's a bit of tunnel vision, don't ya think. if that's your focus, consider this - it's the parents job, so grandma should inform them of her concerns and then allow them deal with it in whatever manner they feel necessary. btw, there is a difference between concern about "the button" (size) and concern that the boy has reservations about being seen naked by others (modesty).

on August 23, 2011 at 8:58 AM

@63 that's a bit of tunnel vision, don't you think? if that's your focus, consider this - what ever the problem is, it's the parents resposibility so grandma should inform them of her concerns and then allow them deal with it in the manner they feel appropriate. there is a big difference between concern about "the button" (size) and concern that the boy has reservations about being seen naked by others (modesty).

on August 23, 2011 at 9:01 AM

re @64,65 please ignore the duplicate entry

on August 23, 2011 at 9:06 AM

@64, 65: Talking to the parents about it makes sense to me. And you're right, worrying about development is a different issue than worrying about the modesty thing.

BlackRose on August 23, 2011 at 4:24 PM

Is That An Eye Patch?

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