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Of course service like that would never come free.
How do you know that "they" all do, LW? Personal experience, Wikipedia, or a dangerous speculation on you part?
Oh, and for all you tickling foot pervs: read Yenny comics by David Alvarez. He's one of you.
I remember thinking that the original letter was kind of silly to begin with. There's the feet...there's the lover...shake well and follow the noises and the vibe.
A lot of times I think all this endless discussion and clicky, identity-politcs-y, stuff is what's making people so self conscious to begin with. The problem never seems to be doing it "right" as in getting someone off, it has to be getting someone off PLUS pleasing the crowd you're perceiving yourself as now entering. That's a bit much to deal with, and they always bring little constellations with them so soon it's about everything EXCEPT enjoying the goddamn act.
Do what's hot. Fetishes are obviously more specific, but it's just a context....so now do what's hot within that context. If it doesn't work, do something else until it does.
Good partners understand that sometimes there's a process and a learning curve involved. Bad lovers don't. Don't play with bad lovers.
B) The writer is also assuming that the sexy sexy sex times that they had apply to EVERYBODY ELSE obviously.
But I think Dan's original advice was well laid out: they're into feet, but *how* they're into feet depends on the person.
SISF, your experience ain't universal. That's specifically why Dan kept his advice general and suggested figuring things out with that partner instead of trying to apply what other people want.
I mean, really? You gotta bracket your contribution to a dialogue with sneering disdain? You got some more growing up to do, boy.
And Sylvester, I'm not trying to call you out personally; it's just that your comment was the one that made me think of this.
@22: It's not about equality (a naive Liberal, in the sense of Classical Liberalism, concept), because "equality" is a fiction, since we all live in slightly different social (cultural, economic, personal, etc.) circumstances, and therefore the same or similar acts impact us all differently. It's about minimizing harm in terms of observable (though not necessarily physical) and/or predictable impact. The denigrating use of "pussy" functions as part of a social system that devalues and disempowers women. No such social system exists for men, so using "dick" as a pejorative doesn't impact men as a group in the same way that using "pussy" impacts women.
But I would also add that claims like the one you made -- 'a social system that devalues and disempowers women' -- oftentimes mask more of what is really going on in the salad of stereotypes in our culture than actually reveal something. I think that if we had a really good understanding of how society works we'd see that habits like using 'pussy' or 'dick' pejoratively have actually much less to do with disempowering women or promoting stereotypical masculinity in society than many other things that look at first totally unrelated.
The etymologist in me also wants to point out that use of 'pussy' to mean 'coward, wimp, weak' does not come from its use to mean 'vagina', since 'pussy' = 'weak' antedates 'pussy' = 'vagina' by quite a long time, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. It seems that 'pussy' = 'weak' actually is a metaphor based on 'pussy' = 'little cat, kitten' (say, 'he's not a tiger, he's just a pussy') and never had anything to do with female genitalia. (Of course, nowadays people are convinced that it does, which is also relevant for the future evolution of this term.)
Am I the only one who thinks that if you enjoy licking chocolate off feet it's more likely you have a chocolate addiction than a foot fetish? I mean, if you like feet, why cover yummy feet with yucky chocolate?
And finally, I think the ball is really in the court of the shy foot fetishist whose boyfriend wrote in a while back. If he can't say what he likes, he really doesn't deserve to have it happen. It's not up to his boyfriend, Dan Savage, hundreds of well-meaning strangers (and one smug douche) to figure out what he likes so he doesn't have to say it.