Word. It just makes me feel so helpless.
"the hateful, malicious little fucks" or their parents. Let's give equal time to the cretins who pump out the second-generation wastes of flesh, and to the homophobic school board directors.
Rest In Peace dear sweet, beautiful boy. <3
Terribly sad.
And catastrophically sad.
Ugh, so sad.
God that is horrible and now my day has just gone to crap.

If only there were a civil liability for the parents of haters.
This is very, very sad. And I hate to say this, but I will: Some people just seem suicidal once they reach their teenage years, regardless of their sexual orientation or situation. Perhaps Jamey was one of them? It sounds like Jamey had tons of support. OK, rain the hate on me now, I deserve it.
So very sad...

And Dan, those comments seem to have been posted on a Formspring account, which of course allows anonymous posting. From the article:

"They were common topics for him and seemed to ramp up to an extreme level when other students started making taunts with gay references to Jamey about 12 months ago on his Formspring account, which permits anonymous posts."
Oh, how awful. Again.

I don't think I'm going to be able to watch the video.
Time to ditch the "b" word. Whether he was assaulted, threatened, harassed, or attacked, let's call it for what it is.
That kills me. Such a heartbreaking video. It sounded like a cry for help, actually. I wish he had a few more friends to help.
I hope the ACLU sues the fuck out of that school. SHIT.
@13 - Yeah, I know I won't. The mere existence of it is heartbreaking. To watch it would be torture.

@15 - It may be useful to clarify what "bullying" really is. Part of the problem is that a lot of people see it as a rite of passage, something that everyone goes through and not a big deal.
To be a kid you practically need a fucking full-time body guard. This world is fucked up.
Thomas Guy @11: Yes, that's very likely, but don't lose sight of the fact that it's an interaction. I mean literally, in the mathematical sense. There are two factors (broadly speaking), proneness to depression, and external factors that exaccerbate that tendency. Depression and suicide are like a bridge breaking when you drive a truck across it. It depends on both how heavy the truck is and how strong the bridge is. Some people are resiliant no matter how much emotional stress they encounter. Others become suicidal when under (relatively speaking) less stress. Not everyone in Jamie's situation would have committed suicide.

But I think we can all agree that knowing at age 14 that your peers want you to die is MORE STRESS THAN ANYONE SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH.
So sad.
Dan would you please DELETE that **sick** remark @5.
Actually, I think at least one of the bullies should be prosecuted. Soliciting a crime is a crime -- soliciting a suicide is a crime in many jurisdictions, and if these kids are 14 they're old enough to be held responsible for it. It would be a juvenile charge, and I'm okay with that too -- kids shouldn't go away for the rest of their lives for mistakes they make when they're kids -- but someone should prosecute and the message should go out: if you tell someone to kill themselves and they do, it's your ass.
okay, flying monkeys, you know what to do. email the school, the school board, the principal, wocka wocka wocka.
I wonder how the principal would respond to calls for her to invite Dan Savage to speak to the student body?
You know, it's not just the's the adults. Teachers and school staff who witness the bullying, the name calling, the abuse and do nothing. Parents who know what their kids do, or how angry their kids are and do nothing.

It's very easy to look at these incidents and assign blame to the various participants and move some point, we're going to have to look at ourselves and our role in this society...a society that regards hate and violence as commonplace and accepted. I see it all the time on these various boards...somebody posts something and those that disagree with the post say awful things in response...usually insulting on a teenage level and downright mean...rather then voicing a well thought out adult response. We're clearly doing something wrong on a grand scale.
Sadness :(
You know, it's not just the's the adults. Teachers and school staff who witness the bullying, the name calling, the abuse and do nothing. Parents who know what their kids do, or how angry their kids are and do nothing.

It's very easy to look at these incidents and assign blame to the various participants and move some point, we're going to have to look at ourselves and our role in this society...a society that regards hate and violence as commonplace and accepted. I see it all the time on these various boards...somebody posts something and those that disagree with the post say awful things in response...usually insulting on a teenage level and downright mean...rather then voicing a well thought out adult response. We're clearly doing something wrong on a grand scale.
I think some of the behaviors shown by kids in schools: elementary and up, is more than bullying, I believe it is harassment and psychological torture, and in some instances assault. If the behavior shown in schools were shown in any other context, at a workplace or out in the "real world" these behaviors would be prosecuted. The schools need to be harder on these types of behaviors and the kids that display them...and not just write it off as "just" bullying or harmless taunting and teasing.
I'm from that town, went to another high school in the district, moved away the minute I got out of high school and except for a short stretch in my mid 20s haven't lived there since, now in my early 40s. I still have friends there though, and have something encouraging to share: a friend of mine has a 15 year old daughter who is cute, popular, a cheerleader, and who has a zillion FB friends from that school district. In response to Jamey's suicide, she posted a relatively lengthy reprimand to anyone who would bully an LGBT youth or anyone else for that matter. Her teachers tell my friend she's been known to stick up for picked-on kids, so it's not just an online thing. It's got to be getting better when a popular cheerleader reprimands her peers for bullying, right?

Still glad I'm bringing up my son in a WAY more open-minded community a state away, though.......
tears my heart to pieces. I am a mother, this could have been my son. it is another mothers beloved, and I can't bear that she has lost her baby.
I am a firm believer in Karma. I hope those bullies get theirs x10....When someone commits suicide I feel as if the "victim" actually gives their power over to the bully. Like the bully won. No one should give their power away to anyone. Those bullies are so undeserving of even being recognized unless they are arrested and thrown in jail.

If anyone feels they are powerless, just keep talking. Someone will come up with the right solution.
@StrangerFan This is a horrible tragedy and my heart goes out to the family but I live in that school district (no kids though), and I would peg most of my neighbors as open-minded. My next door neighbor is pretty openly gay and very well liked and I have plenty of other gay friends in and around the area who seem accepted for who they are just fine. Of coarse there are homophobes just about everywhere, including here, and Buffalo sucks for alot of other reasons, but we are not some horribly bigoted backwater town. Gays can get married here! That's not something many places can boost about.

That said, plenty of the kids around here seem to be rich entitled d-bags who seem to think it's ok to treat other kids and adults like crap. Their parents spoil them, and they think can walk all over whomever they please. My sisters job requires she deal with alot of these monsters on a daily basis and she can attest to this. I wouldn't be surprised if kids who were gay, fat, ugly, awkward or just not as wealthy were made easy targets.
It makes me go home and hug my boys, as the Mom of a gay son, my worst nightmares are given wings each time I see or read these articles. I dread next year when he leaves for college and I can no longer be there daily to know hes okay, that he knows he's amazing, and worthy, and that his just being here makes the world a better place... I shouldnt have to research each college and their policies on LGBTQ students but I do. I am like a guard dog when it comes to my children, but even I remember how hard his coming out was,his isolation, and fear, the bullying from not only his peers, and adults who seemed to know before he did that he was gay. When will this madness end of judging someone based on their sexual orientation. Life is hard enough gay or straight without adding to each others misery..
Is every pop song about killing yourself these days? What the hell is wrong with the music industry in this country?
They should be held accountable for their actions, and sadly so many times they're not. My thoughts are with the family and friends. Jamey, may you rest in paradise and have the peace from the pain. Guide others that still continue to endure such torments, help them remember it gets better.
A direct result to making people think that social acceptance is important. Society should be ashamed at itself, ALL of society.
Is it possible that the tributes to bullycided kids may be counter-productive?

Don't get me wrong: these kids are victims of the war close-minded America wages on people who are different, which starts when they are too young to defend themselves. And close-minded America should be called out for each and every kid it helps kill through its indifference and its ruthless persecution of anyone who dares to deviate from the norm, whether by choice or by nature.

But I wonder if the moving tributes to the victims might encourage other kids to kill themselves. One of my friends attempted suicide when we were in high school, in part due to the loneliness and isolation she felt as a social outcast. And she later told me that some of her reasoning was that she wanted to be noticed, be recognized, and make everyone else feel bad about how crappily they treated her.

This is just one data point; I don't have any experience as a suicide prevention counselor or anything. And my friend was not in the healthiest of mental states back then, so I take her explanations with a grain of salt. Still, it's possible that by giving these poor kids the exposure and acceptance in death that they should have had in life, we might be encouraging other lonely kids to take similar measures.
This breaks my heart into 1,000 pieces.

BTW, it looks like the (Prop 8 supporting) LDS Church is buying ad space on YouTube in the It Gets Better channel.

Reading this story, and contrasting it with the Mormon's tweeks me even more.
@sarat I agree, Williamsville is not a backwater town.....but all that you say in your second paragraph was true in the 80s and is still true today (I fell into the "not as wealthy" category, as well as the "screw you I'll dress as I please, listen to non-top-40 music and befriend all the other freaks" category). HOWEVER - as evidenced by my friend's daughter (cheerleaders were brutes in my time), as well as the experiences my nieces & nephews have had in the Wmsvl school system, I do think the atmosphere's improving. Unfortunately for Jamey, not enough though.
@31 that IS good news.

As a (straight) victim of bullying that mostly centered on my weight, my acne, and my lack of boyfriends to the point that some people did start "asking" me if I was a lesbian...I have to agree that some scars just don't go away.

I developed body dysmorphic disorder and even now, some five years plus after graduation, I still have days when I just can't look in the mirror because what I see is too ugly.

My heart goes out to Jamey's family...what a horrible, senseless tragedy...just because bullying and ostracism ran out of control.
@39 when I was 18 and suicidal, I also had fantasies about getting everyone to notice me and feel sad that I was gone -- and this was 1988. I think trying to figure out what builds resilience in people will be more productive than hushing up suicides.

@43: I'm not suggesting hushing up suicides-- there's an implied stigma there that does not sit well with me. And highlighting the suicides also highlights the underlying problem of hatred and intolerance, which hopefully helps bullied kids more than shielding them from the knowledge of another suicide. I'm just questioning whether there's such a thing as going to far in commending the victims.

I don't have any solutions here. Only concerns.
ratgirl @ 35 -- you sound like my mom. She's always been super supportive of all of us and is particularly protective of my gay brother, going to bat for him often and telling him regularly that he's valued and worthy and *normal*. If you've gotten him through high school and he values himself as much as you do, you've done 99% of your job. College is cake compared to high school. My brother, who is not only gay but has Asperger's syndrome, had a fantastic college experience -- I know your son will too! (And yes, my mom researched the LGBT policies at all the school he applied to, and made sure that he had a gay-friendly room mate his freshman year.)
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!


Why is this allowed??!

Come on. Labeling kids as "depressive" a. k. a weak and imagining that therapy is some kind of cure all is another way of rationalizing the cruelty of both the culture and the individuals involved.

How do you know what that boy had to deal with or how he fought to survive?

Do you imagine perhaps that people in concentration camps would have fared better with the proper therapist if they remained in the camps with no sustenance under the control of an army of paid executioners?

I am not gay, but I was relentlessly bullied as a child. I witnessed relentless bullying, and yes–I agree that if you survive, those scars do not go away. I cannot imagine what it would have been like going through that in the age of the internet. I don't think I would have made it.
Come on. Labeling kids as "depressive" a. k. a weak and imagining that the proper therapy is some kind of cure all is another way of blaming the victim and rationalizing the cruelty of both the culture and the individuals involved.

How do you know what that boy had to deal with or how he fought to survive?

Do you imagine perhaps that people in concentration camps would have fared better with the proper therapist if they remained in camps riddled with disease with with no food under the control of an army of paid executioners?

I am not gay, but I was relentlessly bullied as a child. I witnessed relentless bullying, and yes, I agree, that if you survive, those scars do not go away. I cannot imagine what it would have been like going through that situation in the age of the internet. I don't think I would have made it.
@48: Depression is a diagnosable mental illness recognized by the DSM. You can't really label someone who is depressive as "weak." That's like labeling someone born without legs as "weak."

I think the point was that some people are-- for whatever reason-- naturally depressive, and they are a suicide risk even if surrounded by loving friends and family. But I agree that depression alone does not explain most of the suicides, particularly given how much more at risk gay kids are.

On a side note, I wonder if the internet has increased or decreased suicide rates. Yeah it's easier for the tormentors to needle you, but it's also easier to find other people with the same problems and differences as you. I don't think it a coincidence that the internet has rendered geekery mainstream.
My heart breaks for you too, Jamey.

Rest In Peace, Kiddo.
Some people believe in Heaven... People like this make me wish I did. Just a short life full of pain and it's all their fault. They know who they are and for lack of a Hell I hope it tears them up inside everyday.
Stranger, thank you for turning off the trolls.

YA know, I have been working on a bigger comics/graphic novel project for some time..but I need to write something about my Gay Boyfriends. I was bullied in high school, & it was only my sense of perversity, if you will, that kept me from ending things. I have to write about this, I have to DO something more.

Rest in peace, young Jamey. Being bullied & made to feel alone for any reason is bad. But these kids who encouraged Jamey to take his own life have parents. There's someone in their lives who gives off the idea that being gay is not okay, that it's something bad. So freaking sick of this all.

BTW, how many of you passionate Sloggers have made an "It Gets Better video?" I have wanted to for awhile. I really hate cameras. But I'm gonna donate to the Trevor Project, & keep my loud voice loud & do an IGBP video. Maybe some kid will be helped by that.

Seattleblues is, as I expected, noticeable by his absence.
I made the mistake of reading this last night when I came in, tried to think of something to say, and couldn't. Then in the night about half a dozen short stanzas came to me in the pattern of The Lady of Shalott, of all things, which I've never actually read. Oof.

Ms Hopkins @54 - do you suppose that perhaps he promised his mommy he wouldn't during her lifetime (perhaps without telling her to make sure she wouldn't contradict him)?
I've read alot about kids commiting suicide for a long time. My daughter was also bullied at school. We talked about it often. When my community thought she commited suicide, the amount of people that came to us after the fact to say just HOW BULLIED she was absolutely astounding. How come no one came forward before including HER PRINCIPLE who was well aware. Well it turned out 2 days later the police dept. came to our house & told us through their investigation that she did not commit suicide but played a game, Called The Choking Game. We had never heard of this activity & were in such shock that our daughter would try something like this.( For more info please go to to educate yourselves, then your children.) My daughter was getting ready to go to a 13th Birthday Party for 3 of her friends when she went downstairs to put pants in the dryer. When I didn't hear from her for about 10 minutes I went to check her & found she had hung herself. A lot of these deaths go down as suicides because people are not aware or just don't want to beleive their kids would do this. Although CoriAnn is gone it brought a small bit of comfort to know she didn't take her own life. These are not your normal hangings either, most of these kids are not suspended but either on their knees or in a sitting position,usually using a soft ligature. Last year the school district in the next town had 8 suicide trys in a span of 2 weeks, 2 unfortunately were fatal. Now I'm not saying these kids didn't commit suicide, but these instances had The Choking Game written all over it. Like I did from the moment of my daughters death was to raise awareness with a Statetrooper I worked with. What we found for the schools that actually let us in was that 85% OF KIDS in the schools we were allowed in had either heard of, knew of someone playing or played themselves. ASTONISHING NUMBERS. Even worse of the parents we questioned only about 10-15% heard of this activity. I went to that school when they had a meeting & you want to talk about BULLYING this was from ADULTS!! I left that meeting abruptly with other people asking me to stay. It put me in such a bad place it took my husband & doctors weeks to talk ME OUT of taking my own life due to the insensitvity of these people. I.m not saying that every unfortunate suicide is The Choking Game but it is definitely an option Parent, Police, EMT's, Hospitals etc should educate themselves about. It has been years of SHEER FRUSTRATION & it will & still is continuing everyday,every school, every state, foreign countries, everywhere. Please don't let my daughter's or any other childs death be in vain. EDUCATE yourselves & Your Kids....It could save their life & years of pain & greive that your family will go through.
I am the N.Y. State speaker for this cause so a-nyone needing more information can -contact me @ or call me @845-351-1074
MY INTENT of this letter is not to OFFEND or lessen the horror of any death it is to educate that every suicide may not appear to be as you see it.
Never mind barraging the school with emails.

What about your neighborhood school? What can you do there to prevent harassment and violence toward LGBT kids?

Thank you for sharing your story with us. My condolences.

For decades we've read that violent criminals have a childhood history of abusing animals. I really wonder if we'll read in 20 years that violent criminals now have an adolescent history of leaving messages like the anonymous comments left for Jamey. Is it really such a stretch to think that someone who would find enjoyment through the infliction of extreme emotional pain would eventually escalate to finding enjoyment through the infliction of physical pain.
I recently got to thinking- in the Catholic faith, at least, (not sure about other Christian groups), it's a terrible sin to kill yourself and basically guarentees that you go to hell. But what about this poor Child? Or anyone who suffers from a mental illness or is very sick and in pain? I'm not terribly religious, but I'm curious what someone who is might think.
Fuck the homophobes. Fuck all of 'em.
I'd like to see there be some place, some sort of refuge or private school, which would take in these vulnerable youth at a critical time where it would help. There are some schools/towns/states where we know it will not get better for some time. Let's find a way to create a private educational institution where bullied and mistreated teens can go to so they never feel so trapped and hopeless!

Sure, it sounds like a pie-in-the-sky dream, but if we care enough to make videos, let's put our money where our mouth is. Its time to consider establishing a safe haven school. That way, at least during the most vulnerable years, if a school can't provide a safe learning environment... We can!

I think we can do it if Dan or other leaders in the community want to get the ball rolling?
@61-- don't ask the Catholic Church what they'd say about this. Ask yourself what Jesus would say about this. Sounds like you already know the answer.
Heartbreaking. Please keep in mind how many suicides potentially have been prevented by the It Get's Better project. And let's keep up the effort.

Maybe we should start a "Let's put Christ back into Christians" project. Radical thought, that.
This is so sad. :'C

Those people should be ashamed.
Dan Savage, Thank you for your work in support of young people like Jamey. I read a recent article (cover story) in Christian Century about your sex advice column and believe that you understand the concept of a love-based ethic (all the more encouraging is that the article stated you are an atheist). It is the lens by which Christians must begin to re-examine their text and tradition. I am a pastor for a United Church of Christ church that is 'open and affirming' of LGBT people along with everybody else. My congregation has helped me remember that the rebirth Jesus was talking about is to become who you truly are. Therefore true Christians should not regard LGBT people as pariahs, but as paragons. For they risk everything - family & friends, jobs, even their own lives to be who they were created to be just like Jesus. Drew "PaDre" Willard of Florida
I am once again driven to tears reading this heartbreaking story of another beautiful gay youth suicide. I am also more angry than yesterday. For all the homobigots and haters out there, you will be held to ACCOUNT for your actions. No more hiding behind false masks of religious intolerance. You are haters, pure and simple.
So sad, the peer taunting and harassment unfortunately does take a toll. My thoughts go out to his parents and others in a similar situation, there are people that care and do morn a life ended too soon. It Gets Better is a great start, but more needs to be done and more channels of support and intervention are needed. I wonder if the kids that posted the hurtful messages will be treated as well, as that kind of psychotic/anti-social behavior will be dangerous to anyone who has the misfortune of being around them.
@35, god bless you honey.
My teenage son is gay, he is the dearest human on the earth to me, and I have ALL the same worries as you.

World, be kind to my boy. That's all I will ever ask for.

Question: Is my lack of support in itself 'harm' to an individual or an entire group?

Is it still possible to disagree with homosexuality and not support or condone the behavior without hating the person? I neither support nor condone homosexual behavior but I can't think of a single homosexual person I hate.

I'm asking because I can understand why taunting and harassing would be considered bullying, but why is rejection lumped into that category?


I don't think anyone in the social sphere has to embrace homosexuality if they don't want to. I'm gay, and while it's polite to treat me with respect, cienna1, you don't have to invite me to a BBQ at your house. Gay people (and other groups, like Christians) aren't going to be accepted by everyone, and we'll just have to tolerate each other when we work together ect.

School environment is different. Obviously teachers have to keep quiet about their own beliefs when it comes to the welfare of a child. There's no way we'd accept a teacher telling a muslim student that they're terrorist so it's completely inappropriate for any teacher to tell a gay kid they don't condone their "behaviour".

As for other kids, a school's remit to foster tolerance between students. A gay kid might have to accept that some students may disapprove of their behaviour, but they should never have to put up with abuse and vitrol. And while kids who are disapprove of homosexulity for whatever nonsensical reason are within their rights to voice it as long as they're polite about it, all gay children should have access to straight/gay support groups and other queer information services.

A Christian child telling a gay kid that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong might not be bullying, but equally, a group of gay kids setting up a pride chapter in school or telling a Christian kid that they reject their beliefs, isn't bullying either.

But any way, god bless you, Jamey.
This is utterly heartbreaking. My heart goes out to his parents. When will it end?
With condolences I have to say that I don't agree Dan. Prosecution is part of holding people accountable in our society. If the "authorities" were taking action before Jamey's suicide and he saw a system that would support him, he might still be with us. I think it is important for other kids to see a system that can support them.
Seems that if one writes hateful slurs and taunts with instructions to kill themselves, they should not only be held "accountable" whatever that means, they should be prosecuted for contributing to a death. No, they shouldn't spend the rest of their life in jail, but a couple years time wouldn't be a bad idea. Not only would it be justice, but it would deter others or at least make them think twice before potentially driving someone to suicide. Very sad loss, a parents worst nightmare. We should all speak up for laws to institute penalties for bullying one to suicide. The evidence sure is right there on record. Seems like it wouldn't be too hard to trace back to whose responsible.
What does held to "account" really mean. Why shouldn't they be prosecuted for what really is a crime in this new cyber world? When you taunt someone with hate and instructions to go "kill themselves" that is really contributory to the suicide. No, I guess there would be 1st amendment issues, but there has to be some kind of penalty for what I sure consider a crime. The whole thing is just so sad, a parents worst nightmare. As parents it's our responsibility to teach tolerance to our kids, they hear everything we say, directly or indirectly. Wow, if only these bullies would realize hate just isn't that much fun or satisfying. Look around did the KKK or Adolf Hitler really look like they were having such a good time? Why not try tolerance, don't those people look a little happier in the long run? So tragic, another loss, RIP
Heartbreaking - the poor little guy was getting bullied to death himself, but he still made a video to try to help convince others that it gets better.

As a 46 yo Dad of two I gotta say that being a teenager is harder now than when I was a teenager in the eighties. The taunting and drama reaches right into your home. When I came home from school, I was HOME. SAFE. These kids now don't have that luxury. My 13yo daughter got into a beef with a peer, and these two carried it on through text, f.b., google buzz, email. Things escalate quickly when you don't have to see the other persons face, or hear their voice. Anyway. I was watching the news with my kids when this story came on, and dammit, I started to cry. It just makes me so mad. That kid should be alive, listening to Lady GaGa (blech). He deserved better.
There may be lots of individuals who know of kids being bullied--but the school has a duty to protect students from harm including the harm that results from bullying, harassment or intimidation. It's unreasonable to assume that a school can prevent all negative interactions between students but when a teacher, cafeteria aide, principal or anyone else in the school community hears about or witnesses bullying of any kind that person has a duty to follow up. If an official, such as the principal, has actual knowledge that a student is being bullied and doesn't act reasonably to end it the school can be brought to task for acting deliberately indifferent. This indifference can provide opportunities for the bullies to continue their evil and can contribute to the physical or emotional harm of the victim. Schools do need to be held accountable. What did teachers observe? What did the administration know? What did the school do to prevent the bullying?

Edward F. Dragan, author, "The Bully Action Guide: How to Help Your Child and Get Your School to Listen."
Get rid of schools, get rid of bullying. Bullying is a much rarer thing in the real world, but force children of the same age in a small building away from society for 12 years of their life and bad behavior is inevitable.
This is so tragic. I went to high school in this school district back in the 1980's. I had two openly gay friends at school (and a few more closeted) and they weren't hassled any more than anyone else, and actually much less than the racial minorities at the school. But none of that compares to what this kid had to deal with. Clearly sometimes things get worse instead of better.
Vennominom @ 56: I dunno who Anderson promised he wouldn't come out, & I'm not in favor of "outing" someone against their will. But the guy clearly cares about the issue of gay teen suicide..& he pings MY gaydar, at nay rate. Surely it would be a noble moment for him to say - 'and this affects me so much, because...' *sigh*

I'm also having a lot of "but bullies will be bullies / where are his parents" arguments with people over this who don't want to accept the role of DOMA in this tragedy. How is this hard to understand? Treating people as else than equal is a message that reverberates through our schools, communities & homes. Anything else is bigotry. Repeal DOMA NOW.

‎"Researchers have found that suicide among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth (LGBTQ) is comparatively higher than among the general population. This is linked to heterocentric cultures and institutionalised homophobia, including the use of LGBT people as a political wedge issue like in the contemporary efforts to halt legalising same-sex marriages. Depression and drug use among LGBT people have both been shown to increase significantly after new laws that discriminate against gay people are passed.[1]"

Via Wikipedia:…
@71: Fuck you and your attitude of "but can't I still at least dislike faggots a little."

Is it still possible to disagree with homosexuality and not support or condone the behavior without hating the person?

According to some perfectly valid worldviews, no. An existentialist would insist that insofar as there is anything of a person, anything one might call "character," it is composed entirely of actions. Thus, one cannot "love the sinner, hate the sin," because the doer is not meaningfully distinguishable from what he does.
@71, think about what you're saying a little. What other behaviors (besides homosexual behavior) would you say that about? Hate the sin/Love the sinner, I mean. Most of them probably harm other people, don't they? Well, being gay doesn't harm anyone.

Also: Being gay is innate. If one is exclusively attracted to members of their own sex, it seems a little harsh to say that this is a sin, and they should never act on it, never find love.

Further: When people such as yourself say, "No marriage for you", it feels like you are saying "You are not a full person; you don't deserve these things." Do you see how that can be harmful? What if your sibling, cousin, child, or best friend told you they're gay?
@71 -- My father says the same thing as you, that he "disagrees" with homosexuality. Think about what you're saying though. What do you disagree with? The fact that gay people exist?

To me this is like saying you disagree with the weather. It might be raining outside, and you might not like that, but this is how the world works. It rains sometimes. There's nothing to agree or diagree with. This is reality.

If it's the "behaviour" of gay people -- which I assume means sex between gay people -- that you disagree with, why? Would it be better if gay people just pretended to be straight instead of having sex with each other? Or if they remained celibate and deprived themselves of any potential romantic connection with anyone? Would that really make the world a better place?

You might not think of yourself as a hateful person, but if you "don't support or condone" gay people simply existing and living their lives honestly, you do have a hateful attitude. Think about it. Look in the mirror and try to figure out why.
@87: Very well put.
JesusGodAlmighty, poor, poor Jamey. My heart goes out to his friends and family.
Im transgender and I was bullied in 7th 8th and 9th grade all of High School not once did I ever think of taking my life, It got better and in High School I had the best years and I made so many friends, we all have bad times in life and to take your own life, I don't feel sorry for anyone who does that to themselves. You need to be strong and go on on in life. LIFE is to short.

This is so sad. I hope teens know that there are things they can do to prevent cyberbullying and that they have recourse when it occurs, even if they can't talk to their parents about it:
I've got writer's block. I keep typing and erasing because nothing even comes close to what I'm feeling. This is the best I can do.

I've experienced two suicides of people very close to us. I know what they did to everyone around them. I think way back to when I was 14 and how bad it could get even for us straights. I think about how much of my life I had yet to experience and how things got a lot better. My heart breaks for Jamey's family. I wish we could promise them that some good will come of this, but we can't. We can only hope.

You can't bring Jamey back by jailing or suing anyone. My first reaction is to go to the people who tormented him, grab them by the ears and shout "Look!" But I think they already know. Maybe a few are such sociopaths that they still don't care, but most of them are still human. Maybe, someday, one of *them* will do a video about how it feels living with what they've done for the rest of their lives. And maybe that will reach some would-be bully somewhere and save a life.

Or maybe I'm just dreaming. I just don't know.

This is so disturbing. My heart breaks for Jamey, his family and other people who are bullied. I cannot fathom what fuels people to be so cruel? The people who bullied and posted the terrible things (above) about and to Jamey need to be held accountable for what their comments and harassment caused = a beautiful persons death. Jamey is (was) a handsome, giving, caring, kind, and wonderful boy, caught in a terrible and tolerated cycle of bullying. His suicide is a direct result of harassment and I don't understand why this is not deemed a "hate crime"? If he was picked on for his nationality, religion, etc... it would be a hate crime, so why isn't this held to the same status?
Does anyone know where to go to in order to obtain the statues or laws of bullying in one's own town; schools; state? I have wanted to get involved in actually lobbying and doing something to get decisive laws written and implemented in my town and state because the thought that children, whom should be happy and have the freedom to express themselves in any way they wish are harassed and driven to feeling so isolated, like there is no way out and take their lives because of this truly breaks my heart. I cannot and will not sit by any longer and merely pray for their peace and that things change but instead help make those changes myself and get more involved.
I belong to NOH8 and "It Get's Better" campaigns but must do more.
If anyone knows what I may do to get involved please email me at
Rest in Peace Jamey, and know that there are so many who were touched by you and are committed to do all humanly possible to stop the harassment and bullying of all people in the future.
I am the mother of a wonderful son who has just started the process of coming out to himself and the world. I've been reading up on the (very few) resources that under-18 gay youth have available to them in this city. Much of my reading has been about the Queer Youth Space group, and particularly the surprising number of nasty hateful comments toward them, most seemingly coming from gay adults (thankfully, there are also many supportive commenters). And yet we all know what a tragedy it is when a young person ends up taking his or her life over something like this. I love the "It Gets Better" project, but the more I've been reading, the more I think it should be renamed "It Gets Better... when you're 21, and until then don't expect much help from us adults unless you can think and act like an adult despite your age." Jamey Rodemeyer's story is truly a tragedy, another addition to an epidemic of hate in this world. Please let us all do our best to support and NURTURE our young people. Yes, it gets better, but it takes more than just saying "It gets better" and mourning the dead that did not get the support and help they needed.
I never ever understood bullying. When I was growing up, there were a few bullies in my school.....these were the ones who got in trouble the most but I learned to stay away from them. Life has changed dramatically is different now. I see the hate and destruction but what bothers me the most is hearing about young kids taking their own lives because of the torture they endure. Kids and adults can be extremely cruel. Ive seen bullying from all ages. Whether its because a person is too heavy, the wrong color, maybe they dont dress the right way or their sexual preference isnt accepted, bullying comes in all forms. I would like to see a world that is full of love and accepting of everyone! I would like to see kids reach out to each other when life becomes challenging. I would like to see the bullys think twice before they hurt someone with their words and know that these words can stay with someone for a very long time. We all have feelings and being a teenager is such a vial period for everyone and hopefully one day the world will be a bit more considerate, kinder, more accepting and most of all, non judgemental. Words are vital. Lets begin using them with love.
Schools join and help to end bullying. Turn something negative into a positive to help children nationwide.

Let your community know you are doing everything you can and open to new options to help end bullying in your school by joining the Nationwide Rock It Across America Challenge to combat bullying because it takes all of us, kids, parents and educators to help make a difference.

Jump Start 2012 To End Bullying. Join nationwide campaign challenge to combat bullying.

To jump start 2012 on a positive note Rocking It For Life is proposing a Nationwide Rock It
Across America Challenge for students to commit to Rock It at least 5 minutes a day for a year
for a happier and healthier mind and body, decrease bullying while learning, having fun and getting a good workout.

Everyone can obtain their FREE 5 minute version of Rock It at

Rock It is wonderful on many levels therefore, it is more effective than an anti-bully rally,
wearing a pink or purple T shirt for a day, posting character building posters or school children
hearing a short character lesson over the school intercom in hopes of decreasing bullying.

Great for students to do in morning to start the day on a positive note and with a positive attitude. Long version is also great for PE or rallys.


Together we can make a difference by joining the Nationwide Rock It Across America
Challenge to help change the culture of bullying, encourage a safe learning atmosphere for
students while kids get fit and healthy. So you think you can Rock It? Let’s Rock It!

Thank you very much. We appreciate you making a difference.

visit us on facebook
Hello Dan Savage

I also used this blog as an example. I was crushed when I read this and had to use Jamey's video as an example. I would love to say the same things to those kids who tormented Jamey.

I would love to have your perspective on my blog.…

Hayley Colburn
The Green Room at Ohio University
Jamey took action did he not. He sacrificed for what he believed in, did he not, He was willing to kill to make his point, was he not... He would not degrade himself , nor was he stupid enough to bring others into this, Yes?, He understood the way of things and said no more. He said NO! No to our people, and no to this way of life. So despicable of a people are we becoming, so weak we are, that out of contempt, our own children are so stunned by our lack of character that they are willing to make a stand against us by taking there lives..
Wow.. What a great place we have become. We send children to there death so we can continue the acting charade at sunday Jesus brunch... How much is that false image worth? It never changes, We will allow children to die that we live as we wish... We are becoming nothing but murderers, and how we love it so. Our disciple is that of death...

Blaming children in a school system for killing children.. What?, Who is in charge? The school? NO! We are! We have allowed others to sell are country down the road. We have stood by and done nothing. Now we live with the humiliated mutilation As we watch our children show more character then us. They are willing to die instead of being us, instead of being here. At least they have guts in this war.. Not us. We have surrendered like goats..
We have no control over our own children, they are owned by the state... And we freely gave them away, abandon them. Just as we abandon Jamey to his death...
He was a human being of worth, was he not.. Did anyone care? No! Why did Jamey die! No one cared! Jamey simply did not want to live in a land with us... It is not safe for children in America. We are not safe for children.. We are becoming sociopaths, Jamey decided he would rather die then be like us or become us or live with us... We made it so.. We help that decision that forced him off the plank of the boat!! What does that tell you.. What does that tell me... It tells me honorable decent people are throw aways in this land, replaced by cowards, liars, extortionists, manipulators, cheats, or,.. People pleasers of weakness that will follow any command for a spontaneous momentary spotlight of popularity.. Jamey died for our values and interests.. Jamey's interests were different then ours. He was decent and innocent, there for, he had no chance with us.. We are of darkness and gnashing of teeth... He exposed are love of darkness and he is dead for it...

Welcome to America, the land of the sociopath. Where children are not safe, Where children hang themselves in there mothers closets while we talk of Jesus at Sunday brunch... God help all of us... Idiots!!!, We've become a bunch of Imbeciles..
when is future too remote and when it is not? isn't the whole idea behind the it gets better campaign is this unknown, remote future? "just get through high school" "just tough this period out". does the it gets better project really give hope or does it force people to say good things in a manner of compulsory compassion. instead of celebrating pain and success together does it secretly advice people to suppress their pain? can hope be cruel time to time?

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