I don't know if that's always the case but I like the way you wrote it.

"We didn't die, but we did get a REALLY good night's sleep. Then we opened some expensive present we bought with money stolen from other people. Good times!"

“...it was so horrendous what was happening...”

Really, sweetheart? When exactly did you become innocent victims caught up in the tide of history. Fucking greedy assholes.

Too bad they were as bad at committing suicide as they were at investing.

While I have little sympathy for the Madoffs, and hope he spends the rest of his life in jail, your opinion shows a remarkable lack of knowledge regarding suicide.

A failed suicide attempt does NOT mean she didn't really want to kill herself. It simply means she didn't know enough about human biology or the pills she quaffed.

Yes, it was just "happening" to them, like a natural disaster. The whole mess was a stroke of bad luck, not the consequence of their own actions and bad decisions.

Of course, I don't know how much Mrs Madoff was involved... maybe this *is* something that just "happened" to her. Like being wealthy just "happened".

They're welcome to try again.

(Oh, did I really just say that? That was really mean.)

Pills=didn't really want to die.

Shotgun=want to die.

Any pharmacist would tell you that it's next to impossible to OD on Ambien.

If you're going to kill yourself, take the time to do the research. It's your last chance to do something right.

@9 FTW!!!

Charles, it is obvious that you don't know anyone who has attempted suicide. I have chronic depression - it is genetic - and attempted suicide a couple of times as a teen. Luckily I miscalculated the dosage the first time and was taken to the hospital the second time - waking up after a suicide attempt is the worst feeling in the world.

And thank god for drugs like Prozac. I thought hating life was normal and it would never get better. I thought that happiness was just a joke. Now that I'm taking the proper medications I actually like my life.

Charles Mudede, expert on everything. Or not.

And I don't get where she protests innocence. I've gone through a few awful and fully self-inflicted times, and if I complained of being miserable I never thought it meant I was asserting innocence. I think @5 is reading way too much into passive voice.

@11, good for you. Anyone who thinks life is just a shit sandwich is doing something wrong.

Charles,
My understanding is that males are more successful (80%?) at suicide than females (44%?). That's just off the top of my head. In the case of the latter, evidently it's been described as a "cry for help". Therefore, it might depend on the gender. However, I'm dubious that just because one is unsuccessful at an attempt at suicide that that necessarily means one never intended to die. Kurt Cobain attempted suicide in Rome and was unsuccessful. Alas, he was successful in Seattle.

Obviously, suicide is not usually a laughing matter, but I can't help remembering the time Billy Joel's daughter tried to kill herself with homeopathic pills. Apparently she didn't realize there is literally nothing in them. News reports politely noted that it is "virtually impossible" to kill yourself with homeopathic quack medicine - although I suppose you could choke to death.

Charles, the possibility that someone didn't know how to successfully commit suicide nullifies your point.

@15 Hearing Joel talk about his time in Bellevue's psych ward after drinking Drano is enlightening.
"I saw some people there with REAL problems. I got out of there and realized just how lucky I was."

It's never too late for a 2nd chance.

@5: "Yes, it was just "happening" to them, like a natural disaster. The whole mess was a stroke of bad luck, not the consequence of their own actions and bad decisions."

Exactly the words I'd expect to hear from someone with a personality disorder. They don't do bad things and aren't "bad" people! Let's sympathize with them because "bad" things are happening to them (by getting caught.)