Wait...is he being sarcastic?

How incredibly clever.

A M A Z I N G!

Is this the long-awaited 2011 reboot of A Single Man?

Cute. Don't bowling alleys normally put a buffer between leagues and visitors when they're not packed? At least, that's how it was last time I went bowling during a league play ten years ago... But I do empathize with his feeling of having been segregated.

Cute, but doesn't it read like something you'd find in SGN? Right down to the "hardy" at the end?

Nice title! 16 years huh? Gives me hope.

The way he talks about choosing to be gay really strikes me as wrong in this.

Most of the rest of the narritive is completely true, if frequently exaggerated ridiculous proportions: gay breakfast, gay shower, gay body, gay lunch, gay college professor, gay dogs

The thing is, that one falsehood thrown in with truths somehow muddies the message. It clashes, because it isn't a choice for this guy, and he makes that clear.

@5 There are plenty of straight people who party and fuck a lot, too.

@5 In my experience the stereotype of all straight people being cocaine-snorting swingers is not universal but not entirely undeserved.

He forgot about all that gay air he breathes in and out. MENACE!!

It really did read like a story in the SGN...very first year college gay activist.

@9 no, it's not all true. There is no gay shower, there is no gay water, and there is no gay breakfast. There's just showers with water, and breakfast. The further emphasis on his daily gay "choice" is clear sarcasm in light of the information that they've been partnered for 16 years, which it states in the very beginning.

@5
I suspect that this picture of gay life is just as accurate as a picture of a domestically tranquil straight couple.

As for myself--I find the that the reputation straight people have for being slutty denizens of singles bars is also "not entirely undeserved."

gaaaaaaaaaaaay

this guy is a moron and a shitty writer (not surprised considering who linked him)

but i am straight and love to party and fuck fyi

@7 FTW. "Hardy", good lord.

Needs more purple ink, though.

@9: How did you manage to actually read this? Just wondering because your inability to decipher the satire in this would lead me to believe you lack the intelligence to actually read. Either that or you are engaging in satire yourself, but that is a long shot.

My husband and I have a shower with multiple shower heads, so we shower together. Gay gay gay gay gay.

Speaking of, last night my husband made infinity scarves using his sewing machine because you can't find any for men in America. Then, after putting our daughter to bed, we watched the finale of project runway on "on demand".

I have to confess, that is pretty gay.

Ha, this was one of my professors. Go Dominick.

Unfortunately, most gays are rampantly promiscuous and more likely to get STDs which is why gay blood is still banned in most countries in the world from being donated.

This article is just a dangerous deception.

@24, interestingly, your theory falls apart when confronted with the fact that something like 95% of people infected with HIV (which is what you're talking about, isn't it?) are straight. And the ban on gay blood donors is gone (with some restrictions) in most civilized countries, i.e., Germany, the UK, Japan, Spain, Italy, Australia, Brazil, etc.

In addition, you are a pea-brained idiot, which further hurts your argument.

Also this bit is dumb:

"Before we fall asleep, we each take out our personal, leather-bound copies of The Gay Agenda. The Gay Agenda is our Bible. We do not look at the real Bible because we are gay and therefore have no religion or morality."

since religion is a primitive superstition filled to the brim with baseless assertions concocted by ancient ignoramuses who lived in pre-scientific era.

Any person who considers themselves moral,rational and responsible can't be religious. Not being religious is a fucking good thing just like not having brain cancer is a fucking good thing.

There is no such thing as religious morality, it's an oxymoron, just and beneficial morality is derived from reason, not absurd religious dogma which is divorced from reality.

@25

You fool, compare the STD/HIV rate among gay population to straight population PROPORTIONALLY!

Don't you understand basic statistics and logic??

i read the news today, oh, mary, don't ask.

It's sad seeing this go WAY over the heads of people in this corner of the internet. I just lost a little bit of hope...

@15 and @20

I get the satire, and I get the point.

He's juxtaposing his completely normal life, the real things he does, with perceived misconceptions about the "gay lifestyle" such as contagion of gayness, subversiveness, and "The Gay Agenda", to emphasize how ridiculous they are. He adds "gay" to the description of normal things to show how rediculous it is to suggest that his sexual preference somehow changes the normal things. That works quite well.

He's also trying to do this with the idea of "gay choice", and I just don't like it. It doesn't work for me, although my first attempt to explain my discomfort admittedly sucked. I don't know if I can do better, but let me try again:

It isn't clear to me whether his "gay choice" is something normal exaggeratedly made gay (as in gay shower) or something completely ridiculous (as in Gay Agenda).

It is something normal, because everyone chooses a partner and his happens to be gay. It is ridiculous, because who would choose to be gay (well, me, but we bisexuals mess up the narrative, I know). I suppose we could suggest that everyone has an agenda, and everyone influences the people around them, and everyone has a lifestyle, so those are all normal things made ridiculously gay. I doubt that is the point though.

In any case, it really shouldn't matter. Choice or not, same sex partners deserve the same rights as everyone else. It just doesn't work as well for me as his other examples, I guess, and it bugs me enough to try to explain why I don't like this approach to gay choice. I think it muddies the overall message.

Most HIV infections in the world come from straight sex, not gay sex. Historically, gay people in this country have been shunned, harmed, killed when their homosexuality was found out, leading them to hide, not take proper precautions, or form long term relationships. With so much hate, and the lack of a social support system has led to many gays feeling that their lives are not worth protecting. As homosexuality is accepted, and gay marriage legalized, the statistics will change.

@32 I guess I kind of see what you are saying: that it shouldnt matter if it is a choice or not, we all deserve rights. Is that a good interpretation? Regardless, no single script will encompass all salient points regarding gay rights. This was a piece of satire poking fun at the idea of being gay as a choice, and in some places poking fun at some of the stereotypical quirks of being gay. I am not really sure it warrants all this analysis, but everyone is arguing about HIV now, so this comment thread is all fucking sideways anyway.

@35
Yep, I've way over-analyzed it at this point. The thing is, this isn't the first time I've found myself frowning at this sort of approach to gay choice. I felt like I needed... clarification or something. Feedback maybe?

I could probably just distil my discomfort down to "who cares if it is a choice anyway?!!" which I agree with, but that doesn't quite work for me either.... oh well. enough.

I don't have anything to throw to the HIV trolls right now, so I'm not sure what else I can add to this thread.

@26 - amen ;)

@24: My dad can't donate blood. He's not gay, he just lived in Scotland for a little while back around 1980. So you're not saying much.

There has been a shorter version of the same concept circulating on the internets for years:

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local
Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian
and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over-medicated
imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby
factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly
pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the
exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from
stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)?

What? This fucker gets out of bed as late as 7am?

No wonder the fags haven't taken over the world yet. It's like the cafe down the street that doesn't open until 9 or 9:30. You can't compete like that!

32 I think he was poking fun at the idea that being gay is something people choose, and that if they would just chose to be straight there would be no problem.

I agree about the 'who cares if it's a choice' but at the same time it's this idea that' it is a choice that can lead to problems like people trying bully/force/guilt someone into being straight.

And while it's great gender isn't a barrier for you that doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same.

"In my experience the stereotype of gay men as sexually promiscuous party addicts is far from universal but not entirely undeserved."

I can't wait to hear your stellar advice about women and blacks. Tell us more, we're dying to know.