The real racism here is that Dan had a chance to demand (and possibly share?) a pic of a "smokin' hot" guy and dropped the opportunity. Why do you hate Asian dudes, Dan?
The Stranger has taught me that there sure are a lot of nuances in the kingdom of gay sexuality.
I actually can't make tops or bottoms of any of this o.O
It's not just a racial thing, not directly anyway. As a big, tall guy, it is often just assumed that I'm a top, even with other tops. I suspect that, Asians averaging smaller than white guys, the assumption runs the other way, too, just based on his size.
Yep. You lost me about halfway through the response.
of course jvd is versatile. he's very bisexual.
Membership in kink community does not automatically confer high emotional IQ!

Story at nine.
I'm neither straight nor Asian, so you have a unique viewpoint of gay sex. But with billions of Asians populating the planet, I don't see how any media could stereotype any Asian male as a bottom. Media or not. Other than that, I don't understand any of this.
@8 There are billions of Asians on the planet, but they're still a minority in the US and more of a minority in the US media. If Americans of any race aren't seeking out Asian made media, or interacting with Asian Americans of many different backgrounds, it's easy for them to form racial stereotypes. Hell, women make half the population and yet stereotypes abound about them.
I was just jumping into the comments to mention Van Darkholme, but I see Dan beat me to it.

Also, I live in San Francisco, where an estimated 267,915 people are Asian (33.3% of the City's population), compared to 13% for California as a whole and 4.3% of the U.S. population. And 15.4% of the City is gay or lesbian, the highest percentage of the top 50 largest cities in the U.S. And so yes, I know a *lot* of gay Asians. There is a pervasive stereotype that gay Asians are bottoms, but I know a *ton* of gay tops.

And since another stereotype is that bottoms tend to move to SF, gay tops of all ethnicities, ages, and body shapes never seem to have much trouble getting laid.
I like guys in all colors of the rainbow, but I have to admit to having a particular liking for Asian guys. And to me the idea of a hot, aggressive Asian top is like winning the freaking lottery. I'm in a monogamous relationship now (with a hot Asian top), but if I were single and I heard that caller I would be asking Dan to pass along my number. And I am not the only white guy out there who gets turned on by the thought of an Asian top. The caller may need to work a little harder to find the right guy, but trust me, when he meets him it will be worth it. Because submissive white bottoms who like hot Asian tops are very appreciative when they find them and will show that appreciation.

But he is right. While there are white guys into Asian tops there is still a general perception that Asian gay guys are all bottoms. Living in a place with a very high Asian population I have had more than my share of fun with Asian guys in my single days and to my experience the majority of the Asian guys I have been with have been mostly versatile. But even some of those versatile ones I think were only willing to be versatile rather than wanted to be. When asked the question, "do you want to be on top or bottom" I always say "bottom" and on more than a few occasions the look of very pleasant surprise was evident.

And what has been mentioned by both Dan in the call and another poster here, is that size and build do have something to do with it. I'm not a particularly big guy, but I am not small either. I am pretty much average in size and build, but when I have been with a smaller built guy there was typically an assumption that I would want to top. A larger percentage of Asian guys tend to be smaller builds. I think that is why I like them. No matter the ethnicity I tend to go for smaller built guys. To me there is nothing hotter than a smaller built guy who is a total top. Give me Brandon Lee over any of the muscle bound guys out there any day.

It seems that many smaller built guys are not only assumed to be bottoms, but many just let themselves fall into that role despite what they want themselves because they think that it is the only way they are going to get laid. But really, it is worth the extra effort to find someone who is more comparable with you in bed. If you really don't want to bottom then don't. Work harder to find the guys who fit with you even if it means getting laid a little less, because hot sex less frequently is better than mediocre sex more frequently. And maybe one of them will become more than just a one time fling and you can get hot sex with a compatible person as frequently as the two of you like.

Oh, and another race based myth, that all Asian guys have small dicks. Not true either.
How to rid yourself of religion and the imaginary just read 3 books!:

1.God: The Failed Hypothesis: How Science Shows That God Does Not Exist, Victor Stenger (physicist)

2.Why We Believe in God(s): A Concise Guide to the Science of Faith, Andy Thompson (psychiatrist)

3.Religion Explained, Pascal Boyer (cognitive anthropologist)
@8 Have you ever seen any Japanese animated porn (Hentai?) The tops are almost always caucasian. If you watch anime, you'll notice that oriental characters are shown to be about waist high to their caucasian-looking counterparts (which always have the lead). Sailor Moon has blonde hair and blue eyes for a reason - even the oriental animators see orientals as subs.
Push back... push back hard! LOL!
When will people stop calling every single fucking stereotype a racism.

Get it through your fucking head, racism implies HATE, where many stereotypes do not.

So when I see, as this example portrayed, an Asian dude, who I assume is a bottom because it's such a common stereotype, I'm doing just that, stereotyping! It's not very open-minded, it's generalizing and judging all by a few, but that's besides the point, the point here is, it has not one fucking thing to do with racism, which by definition is hate for no reason other than a person's appearance. So please just shut the fuck up already!!!!!!!!!!
But they still can't drive, amirite?
Anyone who describes himself as "smoking hot" definitely has something up his I would classify him as a bottom.
As a versatile, I take offense at this letter. It's like we don't even exist.

Versatiles, we need to demand our rights now! Then surrender them. Then demand them back at a later date! And so forth.

Who do we talk to about getting a V" into LGBT...?
@15 - FYI we don't use the word 'oriental' anymore. I've lived in Asia for 20 years and the only time I hear 'oriental' is from white newbies. Asians cringe at this term.
@20 Versatile is where it's at. IMO why wouldn't a guy want to be versatile - best of both worlds.
Can we all agree that it is neither rascist nor homophobic to refer to the caller as a "Gaysian?" That'd make me really happy.

Loves A Good Portmanteau
As a Chinese-American sadistic dominant male bisexual, may I say that there is some stereotyping going on here. Submissive women have no problem accepting that I am a top; I say it, they believe it, we go from there. Submissive (white) males require more negotiation, there are more trust issues, including the implied "are you sure you know what you're doing?", etc.
You guys really should try pussy more often
@23 it's okay to be Takei.
@25 If gay guys started hunting in our side of the fence, we (lady lovin' guys) would be... well, NOT screwed as much. Straight women often LOVE gay guys - They dress nicely, smell better, and can actually carry on a conversation. Let's see, what other crude stereotypes can I think of? Not obsessed w/ football, much neater, and won't mind going to the fabric store. No, please gay men- stay on your side of the Boink-Line!
Truthfully though, I have worked many blue collar, rough neck sort off jobs, and more than once when anti-gay crap spewed forth from a co-worker, the "But that way there is more for us!" answer actually made these lunkheads think. (At least it LOOKED like they were thinking. Maybe it was just confusion).
By the way - Though I am a Hebraic sort, I nominate Dan (in all seriousness) to be made a Saint. This is the only site where I laugh and cry in equal measures. You are a Mencsh Dan! Truly one of the (not so) Hidden Saints. Mazel Tov - Asa
@22 Yeah, but...

Oh never mind. I'm so confused over the concept that if your kink is Asian bottoms, it racist to indulge the idea in your head. So my "kink" is older men (50s and up), usually white (except for the smoking hot black guy in the insurance commercial on TV. Daddy!), and *tres* butch (the guy in the AARP commercial comes to mind. "I have a number for you, 50 million." he says as I lick my television). Did I step on anyone's toes here? God, this stuff is hard to navigate.
Stereotypes also seem to prevent Asian men from playing a bigger role in hetero porn, or heck, just regular movies! Yet look at actors like Yun-Fat Chow, Jet Li, or Daniel Dae Kim, who are totally hot and could play romantic leads with women of many races and ages.
@29... No one is saying that being into Asian bottoms, or indulging in sex with Asian bottoms(either in your head or real life) is racist.

The problem is when people assume that all gay Asian guys in real life are actually bottoms, and not respecting or accepting their stated preference when a gay Asian guy says he is a top.

The problem in the original call to Dan was that the Asian guy is a top, and states he is a top up front, but when he meets up with guys who he has told ahead of time that he is a top they just assume that he will be the bottom anyway because he is Asian. That's what is wrong.

There are plenty of bottoms of all stripes out there, and if someone is into Asian bottoms then they should go find a willing Asian bottom to play with. But assuming that a guy is automatically a bottom just because he is Asian is nothing but stereotyping and wrong. If you are into bottoms then ask to make sure that the guy you are interested in is a bottom and don't assume he is just because of his ethnicity, size, build, or other irrelevant characteristic.
just fuck already!
@15 is like something off Outkube.
I put myself out there as an asian top and have never been "mistaken" for a bottom.
Interesting topic.
I'm a tall white top with dom tendencies. Whenever I'm in bed with an Asian guy, I always take a moment to put him over my knee and spank his ass for a while. I'm into spanking guys. This is not something I ever discuss with them in advance. And I've never had an Asian guy refuse or take offense. They take their spanking quietly and do as they're told. Always. I think Asian gay men have a natural tendency to submit to the dominance of white men.
I'm a tall white top with dom tendencies. Whenever I'm in bed with an Asian guy, I always take a moment to put him over my knee and spank his ass for a while. I'm into spanking guys. This is not something I ever discuss with them in advance. And I've never had an Asian guy refuse or take offense. They take their spanking quietly and do as they're told. Always. They always leave my apartment with a belly full of cum, a red ass and a smile on their face. I think Asian gay men have a natural tendency to submit to the dominance of white men.
@31, like, for example, @36/37
When someone actually describes themself as smoking hot, I'm disinclined to believe anything they say, because they're either delusional, a self-involved asshole, or both.
Me thinks he protests too much. Deep down inside, I think this "27-year-old smokin' hot straight Asian male" wants so badly to be a bottom, that he will write into you and whine, just to have people dump on him in this comments section. Seriously, yes there are all sorts of racists bullshit out there, but when it comes to your own situation, just open your mouth and say want you want BEFORE you find yourself on the bottom. Enjoy!
I agree with much of the concerns over sexual/racial stereotyping. And I also want to add that descriptions like, "pasty-faced white guys" are just as despicable and don't get any sort of free pass.
@38, Why yes Erica. A perfect example.
Sorry the actual phrase, I'm objecting to was "pasty-white heads".
I thought wasabi was a hot Asian topping.
Has no one mentioned Brandon Lee? One of the first big Asian porn stars, and one who topped almost exclusively precisely because of wanting to be counter to the stereotype. The (very) few times he did bottom, it was still with him in control. There are plenty of Asian tops, sounds like Dan's writer was really more top vers than total top. And to Dan's other point, don't humor the assholes who want to pigeonhole and stereotype.
@ suzi THIS. Did you know in Romeo Must Die, they pulled the kiss scene between Jet Li and Aaliyah, because an interracial kiss with an asian guy didn't test well with the audience?…
Gene Cayjeon, a Filipino American director said, "Mainstream America, for the most part, gets uncomfortable with seeing an Asian man portrayed in a sexual light."

@ lowpex, I've actually noticed the opposite. My (asian) partner's family asked me what was wrong with the word oriental, and why white people are all weird about that word. The older ones use it to refer to themselves. it's only social science majors at university, and young people in multicultural cities that get upset at the term (me included).
@Caralain - might indeed be a generational thing. Idk if Asians in Asia generally take more offense. (we call it 'Asia' not 'the Orient' globally, no?).

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