But how will you know if the note is from the lovely lady on the billboard if you don't open it?

Jeebuz, Charles that "Don't Be Freakin', Call Beacon" plumbing model is probably a more ubiquitous image around these parts than The Space Needle; she's on billboards, buses (both inside and out), on benches, kiosks, and pretty much anywhere you can plaster a printed advertisement.

I really want to know what that note says.

A friend of mine blew her beacon plumber after he fixed her toilet. So I am guessing she is a customer.

She's the sister of the founder of Beacon Plumbing. I overheard this from the son of the founder on the bus one day.

@3: No-Contact Order?

@4, that's a huge fantasy of mine, but how did she make it happen? Is it all about the clothes she was wearing (or not wearing) when he came over? Did she stand close to him during the repairs, ogling him? Did she stay back, but offer him a soda to drink? Or something harder? Inquiring minds want to know...

Charles, I'm surprised you haven't noted the sublime subtext of the Beacon Plumbing chick. Hot yes, but also just one degree away from explosive rage. The set of her eyes seems to say, "Look at me, look at my tits, you knew you married a trophy wife, I do not do plungers, I do not tolerate clogged drains. Get this fucking solved right now, as in THIS INSTANT, or your dick will never, EVER be blown by me again."

Stop freakin, if you ever want your dick sucked again, call Beacon. Simply brilliant.

@4 I'm not sure how she asked the plumber, but when I was painting her house she came down in a bathrobe, laid on the couch, and asked me what I was doing. I turned it down, probably for the best.

I still don't get the female attraction to a man working. I had 2 different ex's that would watch me work on cars all day, and could not keep their hands off of me after. I'm smelly and greasy and dirty and all they wanted to do was jump me right on the car. Then again, I don't get women.

Lulz @6

@9, you don't get that, eh? I think it's worth pointing out that the sweaty worker scenario is the premise of half of all gay porn scenes ever shot.

My problem was always that the lady who ostensibly has a plumbing issue is not, in fact, "freakin'." Not even kinda.

shut the fuck up, chuck.

@9 If a guy is bad at his job, looks frustrated, and fails to do the repair - that's not sexy.

But calm competence is sexy, and it's easy to imagine that people who are good with their hands would be good with their hands in bed. (Or on the counter, under the kitchen table, in the shower washing the grease off...)

@9, it sounds to me like you get all the women you can handle.

Now, my technique, whereby I hang a picture on the wall by gradually gouging a hole in the wall the size of a dinner plate, and leave bloody palmprints on the wall next to it, and scorch marks where I tried to fix that light switch, and then throw the ladder downstairs and follow it immediately after, screaming foul cuss words the whole time, has proven much less effective. As for car repair, Mrs. Fnarf finds the application of a half-inch thick layer of brake fluid across the entire garage floor to be profoundly unerotic. Instead of "oh, you big strong man" she's more likely to say "did you set it on FIRE? JESUS CHRIST! JUST GO SIT DOWN AND DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING".

Never underestimatate the erotic power of 2" of butt cleavage sticking out from under the sink when you're desperate to get your disposal unclogged...

this ad must not be on the inside of the light rail. charles, WTFU and look OUTSIDE the public transport you are using.

@15 all you describe about Mrs Fnarf is why she is a keeper.

I opened that note. I'm getting a free waffle. Yes, really.

@ 15 --> "Ha ha ha ~snarfle~*choke*" <--
Made me snort coffee up my nose. Now I've got clean off my keyboard. Dang it.