I'm a loud boner. Everyone here trying to come up with clever "get back at the SUPERRUDE roommate who has sex" ploys needs to take a step back. I actually do try to keep my noise within reasonable hours, try to schedule things when people aren't home, or whatever, but sometimes I just have to let it out! All loud people aren't doing it as exhibitionism or "putting on a show" or needling their roommates or whatever, it just feels good to roar sometimes.
The letter writer SAYS s/he feels like the privacy being violated is the humpers', so the issue is mostly the LW's.
If, like @101 says, the LW has a direct and honest convo with sex roomie, and roomie blows it off a ton of times, then there is a courtesy problem. Until then, the LW is being wrapped up in his/her own issues, which sound deep-seated and should be respected by the humpers if the LW actually is open and honest about trying to deal with them!

This is one of the more boring sex problems I've read in Savage Love, and it has over 100 comments? Really? I suppose that's evidence of wide experience with this exact scenario.

@103: It's because a large number of readers disagree with Dan. When we agree with him, there's less to say, 'cause he's covered it all.

@104 I will admit to only glancing at the comments.

Wow, you people are out of your fucking minds. The LW never complains about "loud sex", she complains about hearing *anything*. And Dan doesn't tell her to damage her hearing with loud music, he just suggests wearing headphones, which millions of people do every day without a problem.

Yes, roommates have to compromise in order to live together. They live in an apartment with thin walls. If she can hear them having sex, she can probably hear them having conversations too. Should they be required to whisper when she's in the living room? Of course not. If they were yelling or playing loud music when she's trying to sleep, that would be a legitimate complaint. But they're not. The problem isn't the noise, it's the content, and the LW admits having some issues with sex. I think that's where the issue actually lies - she doesn't like being reminded that someone else is having sex. Tough shit.

If all else is equal, I'm going to side with the less sex-negative person every time; I'm surprised more people here don't feel the same way. If the LW isn't willing to wear earplugs or headphones or just tune it out the way you tune out street noise and other people's conversations all the goddamn time, isn't willing to get some therapy to get over her sex-negativity, and isn't willing to move to a quieter apartment more suited to her sensibilities, then the roommate should ask her to leave.

Frankly, I feel sorry for people who don't like hearing other people have sex. What a sad world, where other people experiencing pleasure is something to complain about.

And by the way, female sexual vocalizations are common and audible for a reason: the human species is wired so that females want to let other people know they're having sex, and males want to know it.