Former Seattle Mariner Jamie Moyer, 49, became the oldest pitcher ever to win a Major League Baseball game, after pitching seven innings last night in the Colorado Rockies 5-3 win over the San Diego Padres.

My favorite tidbit from the AP write-up:

Relying on a consistent cutter and mixing in a 78 mph fastball, the crafty pitcher gave up just six hits and two runs — both unearned — as he kept the Padres' hitters at bay and off balance.

(For those who don't know, 78 mph isn't particularly fast.)

Yeah, I know, most of you couldn't give a shit about sports. But a 49-year-old competing at a professional level is just plain freakish.