Marco Rubio Releases First Communion Certificate

Comments

Where's the long form first communion certificate? I have mine on my at all times.

Catalina Vel-DuRay on April 25, 2012 at 3:06 PM

Time to step away from the election coverage, Paul.

Zach Annon on April 25, 2012 at 3:07 PM

And who waits until they're thirteen for first communion? Catholics do that at about seven. Or at least they did in my day.

THIS HAS MORMONISM WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Catalina Vel-DuRay on April 25, 2012 at 3:09 PM

Let me get this straight... The presumptive VP thinks it would be bad for people to think he was a Mormon? That doesn't portend well for the Presidential nominee.

Timothy on April 25, 2012 at 3:24 PM

Where is Romney's birth certificate, you assholes?

Geraldo Riviera on April 25, 2012 at 3:25 PM

@5 You mean UPC code & UL listing, right?

Sir Vic on April 25, 2012 at 3:30 PM

Why was the certificate issued nearly two years later? How odd. Perhaps not meaningful but nonetheless odd.

on April 25, 2012 at 3:31 PM

"[N]o religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States."

HA! What a fucking joke that ol' Constitution is.

balderdash on April 25, 2012 at 3:41 PM

@6 no, the AMERICAN long-form, doctor signed 1-layered PDF, assholes.

Geraldo Riviera on April 25, 2012 at 3:44 PM

The fact of the matter remains that Obama’s identity and college records have all been sealed by executive order – his first act as President. Executive Order 13489 entitled “Presidential Records”, was signed on January 21, 2009, a act which uses the power of the executive branch to seal by law – and away from public view, all of the President’s historical documents.

Spindles on April 25, 2012 at 3:45 PM

So, if someone who questions Obama's citizenship is a Birther, is someone who questions Rubio's religious inclination a Birth Againer?

(also, the layers go away once it's converted to jpg, png or whatever. the only way to preserve the layers is to save it as a psd file, and I seriously doubt that file exists any longer, if it ever did. funny that only 50 years ago, a candidate would be looking to hide that certificate altogether. i guess that's progress...sort of.)

malcolmxy on April 25, 2012 at 3:48 PM

You do know that Catholics use a different bible than Protestants, right? The version of that quote is from the Douay-Rheims, or one of the standard Catholic bibles which descend from it, none of which appear on that website aside from DRA.

Fnarf on April 25, 2012 at 3:49 PM

I hear his father was born in a communist country. He's really a secret atheist.

Vince on April 25, 2012 at 4:02 PM

Rubio is just trying to have us forget his not factual recount of his family history: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/22/us/pol…

anon1256 on April 25, 2012 at 5:27 PM

I'm kind of surprised he could find that after all those years. I have one of those too, I guess but I couldn't tell you where it is or if it even still exists.

care bear on April 25, 2012 at 5:34 PM

It's stationary, the only difference after a google image search is the specific copyright date.

You can buy them here: http://www.churchsupplywarehouse.com/cat…

or download a blank one here (second "holy communion" link down): http://www.omnipcs.net/pcs/certificates.…

nikoniko on April 25, 2012 at 5:38 PM

I WANT THE LONG FORM COMMUNION CERTIFICATE!!!!!

Cato the Younger Younger on April 25, 2012 at 5:43 PM

Let's blow the cover off this one, people!

(boy don't I sound like a dick)

dnt trust me on April 25, 2012 at 6:06 PM

First communion at 13? Not 7? And the certificate was issued two years later? Huh? I love myself a good conspiracy theory!

the idiot formerly known as kk on April 25, 2012 at 6:26 PM

I had my 1st communion at age 10, though I did then immediately start with the confession classes (as if someone needed to tell me how to lie to a priest about what I'd been up to that week), I never got a certificate either.

I do have a pretty collage candle with a bunch of magazine cut-outs laminated on it, though. (no longer catholic, by the way, but one has little choice as a child...kinda like eating dog.)

malcolmxy on April 25, 2012 at 7:17 PM

I have never even heard of a communion certificate before this, and my mother is Catholic. Are these issued just so parents can frame it as a memento of the day or is there some other (nefarious) purpose behind them?

Knat on April 25, 2012 at 7:59 PM

Kant dear, in reality, I did not receive a First Communion Certficate. Instead, I got a prayer book, a glow-in-the-dark rosary (which I still have) and money. My parents had a little breakfast afterwards, and all the relatives came. It was quite a haul, for a child in Iowa in 1972.

(The prayer book, when read backwards, contained information on what to do when the Vatican is put in charge of the New World Order. I suppose I should have hung on to that. )

Catalina Vel-DuRay on April 25, 2012 at 8:36 PM

Oops, sorry for misspelling your name, dear.

Catalina Vel-DuRay on April 25, 2012 at 8:37 PM

I can barely tell conservative Catholicism from Mormonism anyway. I think it has something to do with Native Americans.

madcap on April 25, 2012 at 10:45 PM

Oh, but not the brown Native Americans, the white ones. Cause the white ones were here first. That's what the magic stones said.

madcap on April 25, 2012 at 10:45 PM

Knat: everyone knows you can't get into heaven without your First Communion Certificate. And you better believe St. Peter will be checking that signature!

madcap on April 25, 2012 at 10:49 PM

Catalina Vel-DuRay: no worries. Thanks for the elucidation. That glow-in-the-dark rosary you mention sounds like soooo much fun, but not in any way the clergy intended. ...I hope. I honestly don't know if you're being facetious or not, regarding the reverse-reading of the prayer book, but it wouldn't surprise me if that actually existed.

Madcap, if it comes down to it, it wouldn't be the first signature I've faked. Hopefully I'll be better at it by then, however.

Knat on April 25, 2012 at 11:28 PM

Apropos of nothing in particular, and I am neither Catholic nor Mormon: I bought a glow-in-the-dark rosary at Deluxe Junk, when I was in junior high, back in the early 80s. (For the lulz. And Madonna might have had something to do with it.)

Just reminded of that because of the earlier Deluxe Junk post. I'm going to miss that store.

MLM on April 25, 2012 at 11:58 PM

Marco Rubio Releases First Communion Certificate

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