Boobs. Everything eventually comes down to boobs for Charles...

Can't speak for the first one, but the second suggests that the Mudede doth protest too much, methinks: even he's grown bored with his ruraphobic screeds, and he's afraid that it's going to start showing in his writing, bringing his closeted love of country living out into the light of day, so everyone in the city can see it.

It means he's hitting on you

@3, I wasn't the only recipient of the email. It was sent to our entire editorial staff and we all want to know: WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Like everything Charles writes, it simply means "Christ, what an asshole".

He sends this stuff to the entire staff? And I thought my inbox was filled with garbage.

Charles: dreams don't mean anything. They're just your mind trying to make sense of psudo-random firings. You might as well look for meaning in fortune cookies.

@5
That Chuck has no concept of office decorum and that he starts each day with an overwhelming and infantile urge to draw attention to himself?

That in the future The Stranger will be crippled by a sexual harassment lawsuit?

Jung (as portrayed by Michael Fassbender's meaty dick bouncing all over the screen in Shame) would point out that dreams have little meaning independent from the feeling-tone the dreamer reprorts from them. Second, he would note that a sequence of two noteworthy dreams in one night should not be looked at separately but together. Here goes.

Since winning his Pulitzer Eli has become the Stranger's prize cow. Charles does not view Eli as an erotic figure by himself. However, if another male Stranger writer should win a Pulitzer someday Charles aims to invite Eli to fuck that guy on his roof noisily while Charles sits listening in his bedroom below, excitedly imagining himself unable to stop them. Charles wonders if he is the man who wins the next Pulitzer what the hell he will do then.

See, that was easy.

funny, i had a dream last night about amanda knox's herpes sore. it spoke to me...in charles' voice.

If this was tumblr, I would reblog that.

Hey, #Idiots, learn how to use your turn signals!

Cows in dreams represent motherhood, so really he was dreaming about his mother being fucked on the roof of his house.

When Charles returned from the outback, the fecund spirits of rurality sent along a pair of their most docile natives to rowdy up his urbist nightworld and remind him that not everything that goes bump in the country night is the bogeyman, sometimes it's just the neighbors enjoying some Sly. In rural space no one can hear you scream in orgasm. Oh, and Eli? Wasn't a dream. Get your keys back.

Charles secretly hopes to live in Enumclaw, a rural place known for cows and that other thing Charles is very familiar with.

I did not realize there were lesbian cattle.

"...eli sanders, and the other two cows."

I took this to mean Eli Sanders was one of three cows.

Gawd I hate hearing about other people's dreams.

Basically, they're interesting to no one but yourself.

Which is why you have to pay a therapist to listen to you drone on about 'em.

http://www.eatpes.com/roofsex.html

This sounds like those dreams young whatsisname had to interpret for the Pharaohs in the Bible, but with lezzier cows.

Cows on the roof? Sustainable living. Rooftop hay, cows romping and pooping. Poop making methane for power. Cow piss watering garden. People living below in six foot square boxes. And I have seen cows fucking. Or humping. Charles is a bit obsessive.

Forget the dreams, when the hell is someone at the office going to teach Mudede this simple trick:

Shift + i = I

Satan is real.

Dreams are fun! Man a lot of you Slog commenters are dreary wet blankets! Maybe you're all depressed. I blame the pernicious consequences of mad cow politics.

Also: thank you, Venomlash.

Clearly Charles believes in his heart that rural people are animals fit only for producing food, and he doesn't want them to come and disturb his civilized city life.

the waters widle
through the rocks
bathe in the river
of forgetfulness
curve so lightly
the tender bird
and the beast lay
unpondering their hypnotism