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This just strikes me as that ridiculous angsty grossness kids get about their parents having a sexuality. It's useful to prevent incest, I suppose, but it's socially awkward and pretty fucking insensitive. Her mom has a right to make polite approaches to whatever adults she wants to make approaches to. If she sent Mr. Hot one text and nothing else, then she's well within the realm of polite to my eye.
I can help you out here too...
You have an amazing career ahead of you as a Catholic Priest or Evangelical Preacher. As a decent human being & mature adult, well.... that'll take some work.
This feels more like a case for Dr McGraw than Mr Savage. But I do agree with Mr S that the LW is wasting a winning hand.
Sure, it's a bit crass for her to hit on your ex, but he was, after all, your ex, not someone you were dating at the time. That aside, this all sounds like a whole lot of manufactured drama over nothing.
All in all, a rather dull SLLOTD, but better than the rehash we've been getting for months. Congrats on the book, Dan. Can hardly wait to read it.
Yeah, not the best person for mom to flirt with, but not worth anywhere near the level of anger and being creeped out LW is exhibiting. Who cares? Given what Cougarmama knew at the time, and her inability to predict this guy would later show some renewed interest in LW and that he would find it somehow important to tell LW about that old text, not totally outrageous. Dd she know daughter had a few hookups with this dude, or did she remember him as her son's friend?
Granted the text is nauseating with its u and ur, but whatever.
Dan's advice is spot on - ignore it, move on, and grow up. Or, if it triggered lingering resentment over your mom's hookups vis-a-vis her parenting skills, as opposed to mere resentment that she was eating out of your dog dish, discuss it with her like a goddamn adult, not "throw it in her face" as the opening gambit in a "massive fight".
Bottom line for me is that "SUPER hot guy" just showed again what a complete cad he is. That was Mom's and his private business -- LW has no right to that info -- and rather than being discreet he exposed it to the most embarrassing person possible and created all manner of acrimony in the family. If you need any reason to reevaluate why not to get back together with him, here it is. Dump him as an idiot, if not a malicious shit-stirrer.
Congratulations! Pop open the champagne.
I sure hope it's not in Psych. It just proves that, though some people may have the I.Q. for higher education, they may be lacking in E.Q.*
IMO the outrage and DWAMA seem manufactured (after all, the FB message was shallow and innocuous) and are a smokescreen for the LW's true feelings: disgust that her mom is a sexual being; envy that her mom is attracting younger men who should rightfully be hers (even if she never shows an interest, but - you know - it's the principle of the thing, lol). Also, how DARE her mother lie to her in response to the accusations? I can see the LW stomping her foot!
So middle-school for someone in her mid twenties. LW, please grow up - NOW - and drop the outraged act.
[*E.Q. = Emotional Quotient]
Ovide wrote in the "Art of love" that older females are not to be disdained as lovers, since women reached their full potential after seven lustra - that is, after 35.
Dr Sean - What, the trend going back at least as far as Henry II isn't good enough for you? We don't really need to count all the notable men alive today with wives young enough to be their (grand)daughters, do we?
The issue is that parents should never EVER EVER hit on someone their children is or have ever been involved with. That not cool. Bizzarre Jerry Springer shit right there.
I hope to never meet this woman, and I also hope to pick up her mother at the bar.
But this shouldn't be taken very seriously, either. Best advice is to forget it and move on. Okay, maybe tease mom a little for being ridiculous. But no big blow-ups.
And send Dan pics AND get the guy's permission for Dan to share them on Slog, please.
Going after your kids friends is a major boundary issue, and not far from Woody Allen, great film-maker, and notorious pederast. Remember when he married his wife's adopted daughter? And then he had the nerve to sign a letter to the court stating that Roman Polanski should not be deported to the US to serve his term for the drugging and raping of a 13 y/o. Off topic, yes, but those themes run together in my mind, because I know some idiot is going to defend Woody Allen, and for the record, I love his films, and hate his creepy as judgment.
He was her brother's buddy and her FWB. I am not sure her mom knew that they were fuckbuddies.
I can assure you my parents would not have known if I had had sex with my brother's friend, esp. not at 18.
I'm guessing maybe he remembered the angry-at-mom sex as being super hot?
And as a corollary: Just because you disagree with someone or just because someone lies to you doesn't mean your reaction is necessary.
Who gives a fuck? It stops with Dan. The problem is with the issuer, not the recipient.
Previously only moderately jealous daughter has unresolved issues with her oversharing hot mother.
The oversharing hot mother is fed up with the jealous daughter's jealousy (over nothing much, probably) and tries not to overshare too much those days, at the expense of the truth. Not the smartest move, but quite understandable.
So my advice to the daughter would be :
1) run far far away from the super hot manipulative asshole.
2) get yourself in therapy, and find a way to live peacefully your life without the shadow of Mom all over your sex life.
3) and don't ever knowingly date Mom's leftovers - which is exactly what super hot guy is at this point.