Cheesy.

Isn't love wonderful?

They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law.

And there's my earworm for the day: "One little, two little, three little foreskins / four little, five little, six little foreskins...."

And the king did what with the foreskins David rounded up?

Some sort of Angry God Old Testament craft project?

@4,

Or maybe he made a nice soup or casserole of some sort.

@4: And the king said: Calamari for all my men!

Thou shalt be obsessed with men's penises, now and forever, amen.

Apparently I did NOT pay attention in Sunday School.

@8,
Yeah, that's one of the main things I've taken from the bible's writers. Some of them must have been gay or bisexual (I'm assuming they were all men too, of course). There is way too much fixation on cocks. What you can and can't do with your cock, making sacrifices from the cock, multiple passages talking about cocks, etc. I mean, seriously... who obsesses about cock that much?

Wouldn't it have been less trouble to just suck them, like every other cock-worshiper?

@4: He made them into wallet. When you rub it, it turns into a briefcase.

@12 FTW.....

@10

Part of the obsession with cocks has got to be about lineage. Isnt't that also part of the context for the supposed rules against homosexuality in the Bible? One of the arguments I've heard was that for a tribe trying to survive in the wilderness having heterosexual relations was essential to survival.

Also, in my Riverside Shakespeare from college, in Henry IV, one of the antagonists being chased off after the the royals won the battle (maybe Owen the Welshman?) fell off his horse and landed on his balls, doing injury to himself. I don't recall that this was explicit in the text, but the footnotes certainly surprised me with that explanation.

So I guess that is okay to go to Canada to acquire a couple hundred foreskins to start a joint checking account.

I strongly recommend reading Joseph Heller's God Knows for a hilarious and raunchy account of this told from David's perspective. If you google the author's name, the book title, and the phrase "bring back the whole prick," you should be able to get a Google Books version, though it seems that some of the best pages are missing.

Classic Saul.

always wondered how you countered cheating in this whole foreskin counting business.. "hey! i know that this was taken from a wiggly captive with bronze age cutlery, but this is barely a third of a a standard foreskin!" "well, you know those Philistines.. trust me, it's a whole one" "don't think so, look, it matches up with this other one already on the pile"

David only needed to bring 100 foreskins-clearly he was an overachiever!

And in those days, as it is today, Phillie fans would boo their own foreskins after a couple of stadium beers.

I think my uncle Bubba was one of those Phillistines!