and remember to be decent to everyoneall of the time.
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While we do give to charity, my partner/registered-relationship-in-some-states/spouse/soon-to-be-husband-in-non-deranged-countries/boyfriend etc and I spent north of $15k on our 8 week overseas trip last year. It's our money and I don't care what anyone thinks.
It's a shame, and you know it happens. My sister went all out with the granite kitchen island, and I got to hand it to her, when we visit she's chopping veggies, spreading out the flour for homemade bread..... she has her strong points and I have mine - My wife and I live like loser Goldie, where the home is a fucked up mess.
When it comes to extras, it's far smarter to sped one's money on experiences than to spend it on stuff, and it sounds like these guys invested in their experience.
That said, Dan's answer to this is exactly right. Anyone else read Yoisthisracist? If you only complain about the sexism in hiphop, you're a racist. If you only complain about wasting money when it's being wasted on sex, then congratulations, you're a prude.
I get the impression that he wants to sex-shame his friends. Why, the nerve! Not only are they doing kinky things, they spent money to do them in comfort and style. After all, if he ruled the world, the only morally acceptable sexual acts would never require any financial transaction.
DAQ needs a new hobby.
I'm really skeptical of needing a lot of outfits, accessories, toys, or otherwise spending a lot of money to have sex. Are there BDSM co-ops? That seems more democratic and inclusive. I'd also be more interested in porn that were cooperatively produced.
Capitalism out of my vagina!!
And this is vanilla.
Unless they are for non-load-bearing activities, one should always use welded (or otherwise solid) eyes. The ones Dan linked to are clearly not welded closed, and could come un-bent, landing someone on their head.
Not to mention that one really ought to use bolts instead of screws. (You can inspect both ends of a through-bolt. Once a screw is in, there's no inspecting how it holds inside the wood.)
C'mon, Dan. You've got friends you can ask about this stuff.
@31: I do not think this guy cares about their happiness.
Like the carpenter who did the job. Or his kids.
But somehow, it's just not charity when you get something in return, eh?
But it does!
"Woman, your fine ointment,
Brand new and expensive,
Should have been saved for the poor.
"Why has it been wasted?
We could have raised maybe
300 silver pieces or more.
"People who are hungry,
People who are starving
They matter more than
Your feet and hair."
"Surely you're not saying
We have the resources
To save the poor from their lot?
"There will be poor always,
Look at the good things you've got!"
Yeah, that last bit was actually JESUS.
Well, Jesus as channeled by Tim Rice, anyway.
Realistically, buying a lot of trappings -- pun only semi-intended -- isn't really so much about the fun of it, but more about the more materially superior aspects. Spending more than one needs to in achieving a desired result is never about the result itself, it's about impressing everyone else. The orgasms aren't quantitatively better, from an objective standpoint, it's just having more devices to achieve them than one's friends.
Let me see how many times I can rephrase the same metaphor...
Parsing is HARD. It gives me headaches.
You really don't know what it's set up to be. This isn't going to be some renaissance faire black death dungeon, it's possible this is going to be a mixed-use classy remodel that can be easily turned into whatever scenario they want. Hooks where you could suspend a person, securely and safely might not come cheap. You really have zero clue what is "needed", and if this is the only thing the LW has to complain about, they're not blowing money on other things regularly.
Perhaps you're projecting.
You can do theater with just the actors, script and stage. Or you can have incredibly elaborate Broadway productions. You can have local community theater with the props hand-made from cardboard.
If you like theater a lot and you have a lot of money, you probably have some incredibly nice costumes and props, but if you don't have a lot of money you've probably made a lot of props yourself and still have a great time.
A) The linked item I see is a screw-eye, not a hook.
B) I hope they got better than those for their 50K.
C) Please say you don't recommend those to people, Dan. Especially going into stud quality two bys blindly through dry wall, they ARE NOT SAfE FOR SUPPORTING BODY WEIGHT!!!
As far as the rest of it goes, in the unlikely event that I found it necessary to judge, I'd want to know how much of the money went for basic remodeling of a basement and how much for specifically-dungeon-and-no-other-use stuff (especially stuff that can't move with them later.)
My guess is that a serious chunk of that change went more to things like walls and flooring, lighting and heating than to things like crosses and bondage tables. If they chose to include a bathroom (and who wouldn't, for that money?) and so on.
If resale is an issue, paint is pretty cheap.
We've got a playspace in our basement, and didn't remodel to do it, and spent next to nothing, since we didn't finish the walls or floor and get by with space heaters.
Honestly, a serious home dungeon makes FAR more sense to me than some of the "home theaters" I've seen.
@52, can't speak for anyone else, but we use ours all the time.
Honestly, I'm at least as intrigued by the fact that the link is to a 100-pack of the screw eyes. Even in a $50K dungeon, that seems… excessive.
Maybe I'm spoiled living in a Sodom & Gomorrah location, but my local sex shop has lubes made in state, leather stuff made locally. (You may be screwed on condoms, and they do go into landfills, oh well.) And I've noticed a lot of good-quality sex toys are made in the USA, which is more than I can say for a lot of other hobbies' materials. It's niche and people are passionate about it, so there are lot of cottage industry-type providers out there.
If you can find people who don't mind sharing toys to collectively flog the Man, well, more power to you! But if you can't, you can find ways to make sure your kinky cash is growing your local economy and supporting pervy small businesses near you that share your values.
Prove to me that you're no fool
Walk across my swimming pool!
While I'm not into hardcore BDSM myself, I think it would a fucking blast to work on this job!! Kinky customers, timber framed flogging racks, custom whipping chairs, creating dark space....
One more kitchen remodel and I just might puke.
More power to em!!