My boyfriend, now my fiancé (he proposed last weekend) just sent me a link to that blog this morning. My reply was that I hope the guy is REALLY good at taking out the trash, killing spiders, and eating pussy.
Sounds like a match made in purgatory.
@1 Congratulations on your engagement!

I want to remain optimistic and believe that the story just didn't mention how the boyfriend has his own project or whatever that he does in order to make her feel extra loved/special, but man, it's hard to believe that when the story read so one-sided.
Um... she didn't say anywhere (from what I read) that she has to make him anything. She's doing it because she wants to and she knows he'll appreciate it.

Christ... does everything have to have a fucking "what's in this for ME??" clause attached?

Wow..did you see her? I thought she was going to be a 400 lb Susan Boyle clone!

Eric needs to come out of the closet, seriously, if he has to think twice about putting that under lock n key.
People do weird sex stuff they may not really like in relationships, and it is not ok to judge them for it.

So why not leave the judgements aside when looking at their sandwich stuff, even when trying to force the idea that this woman is some kind of unwilling victim held in chains by the patriarchy?

Basically, what #4 said.
meh, I give sandwich dude major side eye, but at least he's not brandishing weapons in youtube videos after cops tell him to leave a woman alone, or playing the "I'm not racist, but" game, or trying to pay people to find him a girlfriend like Sleepless in Austin

It's possible to think that this woman isn't a victim while also thinking that this whole thing is really creepy. I mean, c'mon:

Each morning, he would ask, “Honey, how long you have been awake?”
“About 15 minutes,” I’d reply.
“You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”

I can't even conceive of treating my partner this way. I can't conceive of him being okay with it.
Oh, yes, please have children because you're getting older. That's a great reason.
Lady, I've got some news for you. If you're going to be "deep into your 30s" in less than two years [300 sandwiches / (3 sandwiches/week * 52 weeks/year)], then it might already be time to reconsider the order of "engagement > marriage > babies".
I think that's just playful sarcasm.
@4 and @6 Good points. But it's one thing to want to do things to make your partner happy, and I hope in this case that goes both ways, but it's another to make a statement like "You've been up for 15 minutes and you haven't made me a sandwich?" and for this man to take something he knows the woman wants (marriage) and tie it to something she has to do to earn it (make 300 sandwiches).

No, she doesn't HAVE to, but she does want a future with this man and he put it out there that the way to get it is by serving him.

To make me roll my eyes harder is the fact that she's flaunting the project via blog and articles as a "Here's how to make your man happy" guide. Which, gag.

Yes, it's great to do nice things for your partner, but it should go both ways and this is so one-sided that it's making it seem as though it's the woman's job to earn marriage by proving she's a good wife.

The whole things makes me cringe.
This is a marketing gimmick, and it's working beautifully. Everyone is paying attention to her food blog now.

Note that the dude is the real gourmet cook in the family, and makes the vast majority of the meals they eat. He cooks for her more than she does for him. It's just that this "make me a sandwich" meme has such traction -- mostly amongst the professionally offended (though plenty of idiot douchetrolleys have taken it to heart as well).

Now I'll just leave this here:…
@4: It's not that someone is "making" her do this, it's that she feels like "i have to get married by X date, so I can have babies by Y date, so I'd better buy a fucking marriage from this guy by making him sandwiches" that's so creepy. Like @6 said, she could be getting off on this, and that's fine. But why does she feel like it's totally normal for her to have to "earn" a husband, when he has to do literally nothing to gain a wife?
@8, I'm sorry to hear that your relationship contains no element of humor. It was a joke, just like when I tell Mrs. Fnarf to make my fucking tea right this fucking minute why isn't it already here and she flips me the bird and tells me to piss off make it your own fucking self. Or when I try to to fool her into taking some garbage by handing it to her instead of throwing it away -- "here you go" (she doesn't fall for that one anymore, alas).

Each morning? No. That's "playful" browbeating.

My boyfriend and I tease each other every damn day, but if he commanded me to make him a sandwich *every* morning, regardless if he pretends to be playful about it, that would be the end of the relationship. Jokes like that get old, and, when overdone, they belie what the "joker" actually wants.
@8 The difference there, though, is that you then get up and make your own tea, right?

And when Mrs. Fnarf DOES make the tea (which is nice of her) you don't say "Great, now just do that 300 more times and I'll give you a diamond!"

And if I "playfully" browbeat my boyfriend to get him to make coffee for me every morning and that resulted in him "playfully" buying my affections by making me coffee every morning for a year, I would feel like shit for taking that joke too far. The boyfriend in this story sounds like an asshole.
Sounds like it's their own little sex game/courtship game. They'll get married when they want to get married, regardless of how many sandwiches they make. Maybe the problem is that she's publicizing it, but it seems fine to me.

The first thing I thought of in comparison is Megan's story of making all those cookies from some recipes in a magazine, I think--and I think it was something that Megan used to launch some future project. As I recall, it wasn't related to getting married, but something about that resonates with this. I'm not sure if it's a fair or unfair comparison, but that was my initial impression.
(And I admit, I didn't read the actual full article. Sorry.)
@fnarf: This is a marketing gimmick

Seriously, it took 13 comments for someone to point this out? This sandwich bullshit is as trumped up as Courtney Stodden's visit to the pumpkin patch.

The only interesting thing about it is sandwich-woman's willingness to throw her boyfriend under the bus in order to advance her career. After the 1000th email from outraged feminists, I predict he'll dump her for the woman who created
Came here to say that she intentionally sexism-ed-up the language to make it inflammatory. @13 and @22 are ahead of me.
Wow. Now I feel sorry for the guy in this story.

They probably have a decent relationship with give and take on each end.
She writes a blog with what is obviously a sarcastic comment (obvious to me, anyway).
Tells everyone she's making him sandwiches so he'll marry her.
Nothing whatsoever is heard from his side.

And now the dude has a legion of people who hate him thinking he's bullying this poor girl who's sweet but so naïve. If he was really that shitty to her, she'd probably already be out of the relationship. Most women I know wouldn't put up with that for long and certainly wouldn't blog about it... but then again, I have a pretty high opinion of women....

It sounds to me like some of you have really low opinions of women... that it's "obvious" she's being used. That's the first thing you thought, that he was domineering and she's a pushover.

The first thing I thought was that they both sound creative and maybe fun to hang out with.
3 sandwiches a week is 300 sandwiches in two years. She must already be deep into her 30's.
It's funny in a pathetic sort iof way to see two Seattle progressives, Fnarf and keshmeshi, fighting over whether they really have a sense of humor. Got any links to Power Point slides?

p.s.: Do my laundry, bitch.
Oh, and as Fnarf and others have already said:

Marketing gimmick.
That goes double for Megan Selig, the grimly earnest Seattle writer who has to seek committee approval before laughing.

The first thing I thought of in comparison is Megan's story of making all those cookies from some recipes in a magazine, I think--and I think it was something that Megan used to launch some future project. As I recall, it wasn't related to getting married, but something about that resonates with this. I'm not sure if it's a fair or unfair comparison, but that was my initial impression.

I was severely depressed and thought it would be a good distraction to make all the cookies in the Martha Stewart Holiday Cookies magazine. When I told friends, they bet me $20 I couldn't do it. It didn't launch a project. I didn't even get the $20.

I had no intention to write about it or blog about it at the time. I did write about it a couple years later, after hindsight helped me I realize why I wanted to bake all those cookies in the first place. Before the cookies I felt like I didn't have a reason to be alive. But the challenge to bake all those cookies gave me a reason to stay alive (even if it was a totally meaningless endeavor).

Yeah, I guess that *is* sorta the same thing.
@29 Yeah, sometimes in life it's cookies or death.
@CodyTheRodeoStar: Oh alright, you can flog me.
@18, no, she usually just points to the tea she made me half an hour ago that I forgot about, saying "I MADE you a fucking cup of tea, you halfwit, what the hell is wrong with you?" and then I pick it up and carry it into the other room and dump it in my lap.
Fnarf is right. It's a silly PR stunt.

And now commences my blog After which the entire blogoshpere commits digital shitocide.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend discover mutual interest".

I tried to earn an engagement by writing her a song every day and serenading her at night. Obviously she was a major c-word for not accepting me.
Just to correct the imbalance in the gender equality cosmos, I would be willing for someone to make ME 300 sandwiches in order to have the reward of pleasing me sexually*.

*feeding me sour candies and chips and giving me a massage while I watch Canadian football.
Megan, your reaction to this blog post is similar to your overuse of exclamation points!! and ALL CAPS!!! (or in this case, the bolds for EMPHASIS!!!). It's overwrought and immature. Your defensive explanations are, too.
Why do I even bother reading the comments on Slog about anything having to do with sexism? All of a sudden, the so-called progressive thinkers on this site turn into random internet dude commenters incapable of even fathoming how this might be problematic/disgusting to women who have dealt with this type of bullshit "joking" all our lives from guys we've dated, so that some women, like the one in the story, no longer even recognize it as a problem because, hey, it means she gets to get married!

The Stepfordization of this internet-raised generation of women is astounding to me, but I guess when girls read comments like these that are fucking everywhere about "Who cares, it's just a joke, pull the stick out of your ass!" I can see how it happened.
Virginia, do my laundry, bitch.
@38 is it embarrassing when you reveal that you never read the article and it's obvious that your outrage is completely manufactured?
@13 - Fnarf, can someone do a graphic novel about life at home with you and Ms. Fnarf? I think it could start Wilbur and Mary, maybe, if you want to save on illustrating costs...
A bit late back to the party, but I would like to say to Megan and Keshmeshi that I do think it is weird and a bit creepy the whole "made me a sandwich yet?" thing, but unless one of us is in that bed, we can not really judge what it means. I took it to be sarcastic, and I also am assuming that when she says "everyday" it is probably more like a couple times a week. People always exaggerate when telling stories.

I mean, I find the people who walk around town where the boyfriend is on a leash creepy too, but hey, that is their relationship and it works for them.

It should be pointed out that the guy makes gourmet dinners for both of them very often, so I just do not see a big deal with this little game they are playing (which is likely just a marketing gimmick anyway), if it works for them. It is not as if she is chained to the stove, or does all the housework.

But yes, it is creepy and weird, but we all do things in relationships outsiders would find weird, because one can not really fully judge anything like this from the outside.
The girl who walks her boyfriend on the leash is always a fat slob with three nose rings and pink hair. And he's always pale, rat faced, and 40 pounds underweight. One thing you know is that neither one of 'em has had an orgasm for years, if ever, and the other thing you know is that if you're wrong about the first thing you know, you know you wouldn't want to examine the evidence.
@43: Good on you. Traditional gender roles are the true key to physical attractiveness and orgasms. This is why no gay person has ever been attractive or had an orgasm. Science!
If her getting married really were hinged on delivering 300 sandwiches, why do only 3 a week? why spread them out like that? Why not spend a day making 300 pb&js, and when he got home say "Here are your 300 sandwiches, where's my damn ring?"
I'm inclined to agree with both Fnarf and keshmeshi; it's marketing, and it's creepy.

@44: In other threads it has been suggested that @43 is a Resurrection of the Banned.

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