Blogs Nov 1, 2013 at 4:22 pm

Basically, There's No Elegant Way to Use "Deck the Halls" Anymore

Paul Constant
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Comments

1
It's a terrible song, and "fun apparel" makes it worse.
MacCrocodile on November 1, 2013 at 4:29 PM Report this
2
Zzzzzz.

Language changes. People are stupid. Companies are targets. Incensed people get incensed. Etc., etc. ad nauseum
treacle on November 1, 2013 at 4:31 PM Report this
3
"Liberals love to pervert our language, giving words new meanings that advance their agenda," he said, employing 'liberal' as a pejorative without any trace of irony.
Zebes on November 1, 2013 at 4:32 PM Report this
4
If the word's meaning was irrevocably changed, blame the homophobes for NEVER wanting to use except as an insult. English has allowed the same word to havw multiple meanings. Gay could have been just the latest word to acquire a new definition.
Matt from Denver on November 1, 2013 at 4:34 PM Report this
5
They should have just gone with "American Apparel" as that fits with modern Christmas.
DJSauvage on November 1, 2013 at 4:43 PM Report this
6
How is it a terrible song?
g on November 1, 2013 at 4:55 PM Report this
7
Fast away the old year passes. Hail the new, ya lads and lasses.
Fistique on November 1, 2013 at 5:04 PM Report this
8
no one suggested Walt Kelly??

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker 'n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, 'lope with you!

...and about three stanzas more.. see here
theophrastus on November 1, 2013 at 5:05 PM Report this
9
Deck the halls is great...when you substitute the lyrics to War Pigs (generals gathered in their masses/fa la la la....)
Tingleyfeeln on November 1, 2013 at 5:10 PM Report this
10
used to be a restaurant in cheviot, ohio, called the Gay 90's.

as in the 1890s.

and no one ever thought it meant hom-o-sexual.

people still know gay = festive.

Max Solomon on November 1, 2013 at 5:11 PM Report this
11
Between this and the fraught cum/come confusion we're going to have to abandon English altogether. It's impossible to say what you mean in this language.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on November 1, 2013 at 5:19 PM Report this
12
@10 There was also a restaurant in downtown Seattle (perhaps it was only a tavern? I never went inside) by that name. Probably lasted until... '95? Anyone here actually used to go there?
Dougsf on November 1, 2013 at 5:19 PM Report this
13
@12- I'm still amazed the Back Door Pub in Lake City is a straight bar.

Anyway if you're using "don" to mean "put on clothes," and "lads and lasses" for "boys and girls" I think "gay" for "festive" shouldn't be a problem for anyone.
dwightmoodyforgetsthings on November 1, 2013 at 5:31 PM Report this
14
@12 -Yup. The Gay '90s was one of the old-school hard-drinking watering holes of downtown Seattle of yesteryear. And it was not a gay bar.
Great Blue Heron on November 1, 2013 at 5:35 PM Report this
15
Oh, #8- I love you a lot today!

Seriously, anytime anyone can come up with a topical Pogo reference (aside from the 'We have met the enemy' one) they win the day.
Dr_Awesome on November 1, 2013 at 5:36 PM Report this
16
@14 - I wish I would have checked it out. I think I was JUST 21 at that time, and my knowledge of downtown dive bars was limited to the handful of well-traveled classics in where I'd expect to find other broke young people.

Also regret never checking out all the old dives that peppered 1st and 2nd ave south of Pike, the ones that I found fascinatingly gnarly when I walked by as a kid.
Dougsf on November 1, 2013 at 5:55 PM Report this
17
It's positively gay song, though.
sirkowski on November 1, 2013 at 6:00 PM Report this
18
@9 that's great
JonnoN on November 1, 2013 at 6:01 PM Report this
19
The real problem is all those fags that perverted a perfectly good word so now we have to say "cigarette butt". And saying "butt" makes me uncomfortable.
shabadoo on November 1, 2013 at 6:41 PM Report this
20
Lots better ways to fix this. Near-rhymes, fr'instance:

Don we now depraved apparel ..., etc etc
RonK, Seattle on November 1, 2013 at 7:00 PM Report this
21
@19 - Well played.
Pridge Wessea on November 1, 2013 at 7:07 PM Report this
22
First rainbows and now this.
fletc3her on November 1, 2013 at 7:41 PM Report this
23
Yep, I'm a liberal, and I <3<3<3 me some hot verb-on-verb action.
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on November 1, 2013 at 8:01 PM Report this
24
Conservatives have made some language claims themselves, and now I cant hear "straight " wilthout thinking of Newt and Calista Gingrich getting it on!
Clayton on November 1, 2013 at 8:11 PM Report this
25
LOL I first heard this bitch by straight folks back when I was a baby gay.
Machiavelli was framed on November 1, 2013 at 8:54 PM Report this
26
I recall that a few years ago some news organization's autocensor altered the last name of the track star Tyson Gay.
seatackled on November 1, 2013 at 9:06 PM Report this
27
@5 hit the nail on the head.

Hallelujah!
Urgutha Forka on November 1, 2013 at 9:34 PM Report this
28
#8 wins!
Those words were earworms since I heard of this.
on November 1, 2013 at 10:47 PM Report this
29
@11: They can rot in hades with the intensive-purposers.
undead ayn rand on November 1, 2013 at 11:21 PM Report this
30
I just figured it meant we should look fabulous.
Jenkitty on November 1, 2013 at 11:59 PM Report this
31
Huh...I always figured the song was about putting on the leather and grabbing some prickly holly branches to use on the boy. You mean there's another meaning?
Corydon on November 2, 2013 at 7:40 AM Report this
32
Um, I think we were called gay by the straights....
rshoff on November 2, 2013 at 1:18 PM Report this
33
@11, 29: In all seriousness, I blame all the language and dirty-word police who are quick to smack hands: what you just said is NOT a word or is not a GOOD word. They demand that the populace know and use some dated thing from 1706, rather than let the language grow.

So restricted, we are forced to assign common words double and triple meanings. Pussy, to come, to be wet, to blow, to go down, to be hard, to get off, to eat out, and sex. All ruined.

Yes, English is a miserable language.
NotSean on November 2, 2013 at 1:34 PM Report this
34
@32: No, that's not the word we prefer to use.
Fifty-Two-Eighty on November 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM Report this

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