Blogs Nov 15, 2013 at 11:10 am

Illinois Bishop Plans to Exorcise Gay Marriage Out of His State

Paul Constant
Back to article

Comments

1
I would love to watch this nonsense happen. It's a shame I can't be present for it. It's time for the Church to modernize and start streaming this crap online.
MacCrocodile on November 15, 2013 at 11:14 AM Report this
2
Parts of the Church Paul, not every Catholic is like this.

Would it be fair for me to say all atheists are dicks even though some are? No it would not.
Seattle14 on November 15, 2013 at 11:17 AM Report this
3
The Church continues to suck but I continue to go to Mass. I like the vibe of Mass. I believe most parishioners there have a great sense of humilty, a sense of being a shitty sinner before God. It's transcendental in a nicely modest way to be among a crowd that way, and then fellowship with them a bit. But that's me. To each his own
dnt trust me on November 15, 2013 at 11:21 AM Report this
4
Shouldn't the exorcism have been done before the legislature debated? Or, would that have been too revealing about the bishop's lack of any real power to change world events?

@2 A bishop is a rather important part of the Church. I already know the church is bigoted so it isn't really news that a church leader would make bigoted statements, but the actual exorcism seems rather... hilarious?
fletc3her on November 15, 2013 at 11:26 AM Report this
6
I'm guessing it won't work.
very bad homo on November 15, 2013 at 11:37 AM Report this
7
Alright so... not all Catholics are psychotic and not all atheists are dicks. That being said, can't we all agree that exorcizing gay marriage from an entire state is not only offensive and medieval but also completely insane?
passionfruiter on November 15, 2013 at 11:40 AM Report this
8
This is absolutely hilarious. Are they seriously willing to stake the validity of their religious doctrine on whether or not this hocus-pocus works?

Way to embarrass yourselves in front of your parishioners, guys!
Brooklyn Reader on November 15, 2013 at 11:41 AM Report this
9
@2:

Unlike Atheists, ALL Catholics DO belong to a religious organization that actively promulgates this crap, so saying "not all Catholics are like this" is rather like saying, "sure, I belong to the Klu Klux Klan, but I'm NOT a racist!"
COMTE on November 15, 2013 at 11:45 AM Report this
10
I wonder if His Excellency has booked Linda Blair for this event.
Lissa on November 15, 2013 at 12:03 PM Report this
11
He should perform an exorcism on the Catholic church for raping thousands of children (which undoubtedly continues) and turning the Vatican bank into a Mafia money laundering operation (which undoubtedly continues).
Pope Peabrain on November 15, 2013 at 12:04 PM Report this
12
@2 - To pile on:

Note the difference between saying "the Catholic Church continues to just absolutely suck" and "every Catholic is like this".

My friend's mother is a lovely person who happens to follow (and even work for, to some extent as a teacher in a Catholic school) a terrible, terrible organization that has been a blight on humanity for thousands of years. That does not mean that my friend's mother is thousands of years old and raping children. Do you see the difference?
MacCrocodile on November 15, 2013 at 12:05 PM Report this
13
What? I thought The Exorcist was just a silly movie. You mean to tell me they do this for reals?

Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Reverse Polarity on November 15, 2013 at 12:11 PM Report this
14
N'komo can help us find Pazuzu.
Dr. Z on November 15, 2013 at 12:16 PM Report this
15
I blame it on the witches. When was the last time we had a decent witch burning or inquisition? Or maybe there is too much damn fecal matter in the holy water? Demons, witches, and poop. These are the only possible ways to explain why people no longer hate the gays.
delirian on November 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM Report this
16
If all these priests are so busy exorcizing they don't have time to abuse altar boys, that's a plus.
sarah70 on November 15, 2013 at 12:29 PM Report this
17
I hope this is widely covered. Especially afterward, when absolutely no one changes their mind and nothing happens. I would love to hear what the idiot has to say then. (Though I imagine that it would be along the lines of "God works on His own timetable and in His own way. Be patient and watchful.")
Knat on November 15, 2013 at 1:16 PM Report this
18
@13: Even in the Exorcist the characters went out of their way to say that the Catholic church didn't really believe in this hocus pocus and it's all just an anachronistic relic. I guess they were wrong.
MRM on November 15, 2013 at 1:21 PM Report this
19
It's scandalous that so many people who were baptized and forced into Catholicism without their consent don't obey their orders from above like good little Papists.
sirkowski on November 15, 2013 at 1:58 PM Report this
20
Nothing says "calm, reasoned approach to social stability" louder than exorcisms against policies you disagree with.

Wow, conservatives, you sure have convinced me on the rightness of your cause. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to start using my voodoo doll to create jobs!
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on November 15, 2013 at 3:10 PM Report this
21
Fuck his "redefinition" argument. We have "redefined" marriage countless times since the good ol' Bible days. Rapists aren't required to marry their victims. Polygamy is illegal. Marriage isn't (merely) an economic transaction. Woman are (theoretically at least) not deprived of autonomy once they're married. You can divorce. You can't marry children. Hell, blacks and whites can marry each other (but couldn't in the US before 1967).

Marriage as an institution has changed—or been changed—over and over. The marriage-ruining gays and their advocates are merely pushing for one more change. I think marriage can handle it.
Irving on November 15, 2013 at 3:30 PM Report this

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview
Posted by (your name here)

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.

Editors' Picks

The City Sweeps SODO Ahead of All-Star Game
How to Win an Election Without a Newspaper Endorsement
The County Canceled the SODO Shelter Expansion and No One Is Happy
Let’s Get Sapphic
Forced Out: The New Girl
What Will They Do with His Garden?
The Stranger
is a proud member of the network
Masthead Ad Info & Rates Jobs at The Stranger Contact Privacy Policy Terms of Use Takedown Policy Find The Stranger Near You Subscribe to The Stranger in Print
Support The Stranger
All contents © Noisy Creek, Inc.
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134