I always call the people I love "infernal enemy".

How many children has this bishop raped? Is that off topic?

Yeah, I'm going with option #1.

@3 - I wasn't aware gay weddings have been around long enough for archetypal tropes to develop. But I do give bonus points for the alliterative rhythm.

@4
Thanks! I knew of alliteration, but didn't know of Rhythmic alliteration. Googled and found a few articles. Thanks. Always good to find something more interesting to read than Slog.......because of Slog!

Poor lamb.

This Paprocki fellow, he's an adult? How can anyone who believes this hocus pocus navigate day-to-day life? And why do we (society at large, not Slog) treat these people as if they were mature members of society?

@2
Cato, not OT at all. In fact, someone should ask if he conducted any similar exorcism to rid abusive/raping priests of their particular serpents ... because God loves those priests, too.

Wait! There's a fourth possibility. Having clearly just exorcised all the evil from homosexual marriage, he must therefore accept that it's now just as good as heterosexual marriage! Praise the Lord!

By the way, anyone remember the silly kids' candy, Pop Rocks? Bet he had a devil of a time in school.

"And I say to you, my brethren, if any of you give succor to the homosexual, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf."

Didn't anyone tell him that The Exorcist was a fictional movie?

@12 It was a fictional movie, but exorcism is a documented, historical Catholic rite, which has apparently been taking place more often in recent years. Since Obama is the anti-Christ, and all.

Maybe there is now a protective anti-gay godly force field around Illinois we don't know about yet. Have any gay married couples tried to go to Illinois since he did his exorcism? Perhaps they'd burst into flame.

Science needs to respond and test this.

Perhaps you only burst into flame if you try to Gay wed in Illinois.

@14 Or perhaps he didn't exorcise what he thought he exorcised. Maybe he unwittingly exorcised all the animus surrounding same sex weddings, as that was where all the actual evil was. Maybe gay weddings in Illinois are particularly Godly and Holy now, after his cleansing rite, and more people find them not only acceptable, but to be celebrated.

You know those stories where some shmuck gets screwed over by a genie he thought would grant him his wish, but who reinterpreted his words and played a trick on him? I can't imagine things would work out any differently for Paprocki and his incantations. According to the New Testament, God is a loving God, so he'd likely make something nice out of Paprocki's words.

This proves that the devil can't exorcise himself. Nice try, Bettlejuice!