Blogs Dec 17, 2013 at 4:24 pm

Apparently the Lottery Jackpot Is Really Big Right Now

Paul Constant
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Comments

1
Isn't it enough of a reason not to play that lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math?
Tyler Pierce on December 17, 2013 at 4:32 PM Report this
2
You'll sleep fine. $450M buys a lot of medicine.
chimsquared on December 17, 2013 at 4:35 PM Report this
3
Who says you'd have to tell anyone you won the lottery? You could be a secret philanthropist.
on December 17, 2013 at 4:37 PM Report this
4
Quitter.
Cienna Madrid on December 17, 2013 at 4:48 PM Report this
5
Good lord, what kind of limp-wristed waif are you? You win? Buy Index Newspapers and make it ad-free, that should be sufficient in wearing down your newfound riches in a heartening way. Then you could found The Stranger Foundation, to benefit LGBTQITSLFA causes. Problem solved and no need to move to a snooty neighborhood.
pragmatic on December 17, 2013 at 4:49 PM Report this
6
Is there a way to anonymously collect earnings? Because I would totally anonymously collect and not tell anyone but my closest relations and let everyone else wonder why I never worked and lived opulently (not that I have opulent tastes, but it would be impossible to not buy the best of everything with that kind of money).

"So... What do you do?"

"Oh, you know, this and that."
danewood on December 17, 2013 at 4:51 PM Report this
7
@1 - UUUUUUUGH

Movies/sports/games/the travel industry are a tax on the bored. THEY DON'T EVEN PAY YOU TO [participate in activity] MOST OF THE TIME, SHEEPLE!
MacCrocodile on December 17, 2013 at 4:55 PM Report this
8
The reason why it is sometimes days before someone claims a big lottery jackpot is because they are setting up a foundation that acts as a holding company for the principal. The foundation then pays the winner an annual stipend and no one (strangers, friends, and relatives alike) is any the wiser unless you choose to tell them.

If we won, our first stop (after the safe deposit box) would be our lawyers, financial advisor, and accountant. After figuring out what we needed to be comfortable for the rest of our lives, we would figure out the necessary principal amount so we could live off that income; all the rest would go into a charitible foundation.
Dr. Z on December 17, 2013 at 5:05 PM Report this
9
Taking the annuity would help stave off some of the lump sum problems, but you know what would make you a hero? Keep $10m for yourself and give the rest to Sound Transit to help build the Paul Constant Ballard Subway.
Searailleur on December 17, 2013 at 5:07 PM Report this
10
I think the only way to avoid the misery, guilt, lack of trust, etc. of winning the lottery is to buy me a very large quantity of very expensive single malt whisky. No other charity could possibly offer such returns.

If I won, I'm positive that I'd get stupid-wasted on a bunch of cocaine or some goddamn thing and fall off a hotel balcony to my death within the first six hours.
Fnarf on December 17, 2013 at 5:07 PM Report this
11
Dr. Z's plans are closer to my daydreams, Fnarf's plans are closer to what would be my experience.
LMcGuff on December 17, 2013 at 5:09 PM Report this
12
@7: travel? A tax on the bored? My goodness, why don't you just buy a coffin and crawl into it now, now since obviously there isn't any positive return on investment for life. The whole thing is a waste of money and the sooner it's over the better (at least, that was my mother's firm and unchangeable opinion.)
Dr. Z on December 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM Report this
13
After we got the money, my first stop would be an electronics store where I'd buy myself the best pair of headphones I could find. The second stop would be the Lego Store, and I'd buy all of these they had: http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Super-Star-De…
Hanoumatoi on December 17, 2013 at 5:13 PM Report this
14
I wonder if people who consistently buy 2 to 5 dollar lottery tickets also consistently vote down things like infrastructure replacement because their taxes will go up by 2 to 5 dollars?
Urgutha Forka on December 17, 2013 at 5:14 PM Report this
15
I think most people who buy lottery tickets are in shit jobs. Even well-paying shit jobs.
Dr. Z on December 17, 2013 at 5:17 PM Report this
16
You feel too much.
Gern Blanston on December 17, 2013 at 5:20 PM Report this
17
@10: I'll remember that if I ever win.

Disclaimer: I've never won anything in my life, not even a raffle ticket. My husband, on the other hand, is one of those extremely rare people whom the cosmos smiles upon. So I always have him buy the ticket. :)
Dr. Z on December 17, 2013 at 5:21 PM Report this
18
Raffles are a better bet.

That said, if you win, start a limited liability partnership and have it collect the winnings and then do not change your life for a while. Most winners lose it all FAST.
Will in Seattle on December 17, 2013 at 5:57 PM Report this
19
I decided a few years back, fuck it; i'll buy friends.
fetish on December 17, 2013 at 6:52 PM Report this
20
After tax lump sum payout of around $240,000,000 to $248,000,000 cash in hand for a sole winner. I'd take those headaches no problem while spending summers in Seattle, spring and autumn back home in house #2 in New England, and winters somewhere nice.
Joe Szilagyi on December 17, 2013 at 7:11 PM Report this
21

Pro-test-or work ethic rebuked.

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on December 17, 2013 at 7:59 PM Report this
22
I feel the same way Paul, especially with a jackpot that large. I'd rather win enough to pay my debts , some spending money for the next year, help some friends, and some new guitars and other gear.
BTW, 2nd prize is $250000.
Tingleyfeeln on December 17, 2013 at 8:21 PM Report this
23
Lottery tickets are just a tax on the time it takes me to stand in line to buy beer and cigs at the Plaid Pantry.
McBomber on December 17, 2013 at 8:32 PM Report this
24
You could buy a sports team, or part of one how is that not aweosme?
Seattle14 on December 17, 2013 at 8:56 PM Report this
25
@22,

Third prize is you're fired.
Urgutha Forka on December 17, 2013 at 9:07 PM Report this
26
All of your negative things are positives for me. hahaha
Eckstein on December 17, 2013 at 9:23 PM Report this
27
After building a modest recording studio in my modest home in the modest woods I would hire a well dressed Corgi to help me manage my money. The end.
LEE. on December 17, 2013 at 9:43 PM Report this
28
Would that be enough to buy North Korea and fire its current CEO and Board of Directors?
seatackled on December 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM Report this
29
With that kind of scratch, here's what I'd do.
http://aboardtheworld.com/reside
Merlin D. Bear on December 18, 2013 at 1:16 AM Report this
30
pshaw - who needs friends or intimacy if you can afford the finest Japanese sex-robots on the market?
zivilisierter Wurm on December 18, 2013 at 3:05 AM Report this

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