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Yeah... That sounds about right.
I just don't believe that orgasm causes defecation with great regularity. Contractions of the anal sphincter will only cause defecation if the rectum is full. Of course, everyone's body is unique, and her orgasms might also trigger peristalsis through her entire lower colon. Most adults (and children) can tell if their rectum is full. If this girl is real, then she just needs to be housebroken.
People with irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, ileitis, etc., in remission or not—things just don't work right sometimes regardless of diet. You can have constipation one day, or twelve days in a row, and diarrhea the next, or eight days in a row. Sometimes the bowels gallop, sometimes they saunter. And it's fairly common to be unable to empty the rectum completely.
So anal douching may be the answer relationship-wise, as it is for so many male and female porn stars who need to have anal sex without gross-out disasters. But you should also keep your doctor informed, and ask for a referral to a gastroenterologist if intestinal problems persist with dietary experimentation, or worsen.
As far as fiber goes, the best out there is called Konsyl. Pure psyllium fiber. No flavor. If it's not at your drug store, they'll order it, or you can order direct from their website. Use it regularly, and half the time you won't even need to use toilet paper afterwards. Everything comes out as smooth as silk, and your butthole will be as clean as a whistle. Needless to say, it's perfect for guys too.
But definitely ask a doctor if it is this distressing. The medical term is fecal incontinence. They can help you decide what kind of specialist (if any) is needed.
But for starters, more fiber, more water, less coffee, less alcohol.
@17 don't sweat it, there are *so many* worse places to be talking about poo.
I just turned my head (seeing that on me did nothing for me) while she found the rubbing alcohol and toilet paper and cleaned me up.
My points are that this letter may be real, and also that if a partner really likes you and isn't prone to freaking out over things that don't actually cause damage, even if you make a mistake don't panic.
However I do think that Dan is right about just getting to know your butt and emptying it properly. No shit is better than shit for most of us, and makes the occasional back-side stimulation more pleasant.
Talk to your doctor.
Seriously, talk to your doctor. Rectal incontinence at age 17 is unusual enough that you should get checked out: as @13 alluded to, there are a number of annoying but treatable conditions that might be the real problem here, and you should get checked out for them.
Once your digestive problems are fixed, then you'll probably be able to relax and cum with your partners too without worrying about shit leaking out.
Is this another one of those "THERE WAS FIFTY POUNDS OF MEAT IN JOHN WAYNE'S COLON WHEN HE DIED" stories?
A healthy digestive system will have poop in it if there's poop in it. It shouldn't necessarily come out during orgasm, but the presence isn't problematic.
The anal douche video was clear, informative and presented by a pleasantly posh blonde Englishwoman.
"Stools do not enter the rectum from the colon on a continuous basis, but as a result of mass movements, which happen from time to time, especially before the need to go to the toilet is experienced"
The whole thing is probably worth a read.
I have IBS, I always recommend a probiotic because it's helped with some with the looseness. You can get them at any pharmacy or supplement store. Although I still have pain, I've tried Rx medications and they've all caused WORSE cramping). It's been really clean back there, and I feel more confident in the sack. Processed foods are really bad for gut flora, probiotics help replenish your tummy cultures. It's the good stuff found in yogurt, but x1000000.
Definitely should see a doctor, but in terms of making the symptoms easier, Kegels/pelvic floor exercises will help. Properly done, they exercise the front, middle and back muscles 'down there', both separately and together. That will make it easier for one set of muscles to keep tight when another set of muscles is relaxing.
Also, some people have emotional problems with pooping, that might be an issue here. If you are not relaxed, it's not going to happen.