they was raised up to be homophobic. they're going to get over it once they see it is an unfounded fear, and especially once they're reminded they're being paid millions of dollars to get over it.
The good news is that this kind of panic looks increasingly silly when uttered by a professional ball player who apparently doesn't have a problem being interviewed in a towel by a female reporter on national TV.

It's interesting to contrast this with the theater where gay people are commonplace yet somehow the chemical balance of the dressing room remains in balance and quick changes in the wings are accomplished without too much leering.
Agreeing with a thing like Savage on anything makes me glad I ate breakfast a few hours ago. Any more recently and I'd be seeing it again.

But here, absent all the made up words like homophobia and al the hysterical overstatement, he's- oh God it makes my gorge rise to write it - very nearly right.

The lifestyle choices of an NFL player seen important as a football player. His ability to do his job is. And pro football locker rooms full of reporters aren't a sanctum of privacy. If this guy is a good player I hope he gets his shot to show it. He wouldn't be there if he hadn't put in many years of hard disciplined work to earn the chance. Good luck to him.
Who are you, and what have you done with Seattleblues?
@3: Even when you are making pro-gay arguments (or as most people call it, being a decent human), you still can not help but be homophobic as hell.

It is really sad though that the choices and actions of gay men lay so heavily upon your brow everyday.

Well I'll help your cognitive dissonance.

A truly pro gay position would be different than you understand it. It would be one that sought effective treatment for willing adults wishing a healthy sexuality, rather than public policy forcing applause of unhealthy sexuality on 97% of citizens.

This issue has not one thing to do with the player as a sexual person? How could it? Why should it? Can he stand in the line and do his job? Great! Give the kid a chance to do it and leave his private life out of it.

Now if only the kid had had the sense to do so, nobody would be talking about it. 'Coming out' is a neurotic act forcing your private business on others who mostly don't want to know.
@7: Could you point me to the law that states you have to applaud the sexuality of others?

Do you feel that you talking about your (fake) wife and kids is forcing your private business on others? I mean, we don't want to know, yet you keep forcing your sexuality on us. Why are you so neurotic?

See, your inability to see this distinction is what cognitive dissonance actually is.

I would like to say though, that there is no gay guy out of the several I know who obsesses over what other men do with their bodies as much as you do. It amazes me how much you think about what gay men do together, and how important it apparently is to you. Pretty bizarre for a "straight" guy if you ask me.
If you've been naked in front of other people--in a locker room, in a medical setting, on a beach--you've been naked in front of a gay or bisexual person.
I think the players who have problems with it SHOULD squeal and then hit them with their purses!
As a woman, if I were naked in a locker room with a bunch of men (and in a magical world where I did not fear for my safety in that situation), I would say something like "HEY! Eyes up here!" and laugh. Or "Sweet, huh?" The fact is that just being naked in front of someone that might appreciate the view is nothing to be concerned about. The only real concern is that the person would assault you. And I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that most football players are NOT afraid that they won't be able to defend themselves.

As Scott Fujita said (paraphrased), "Sexual harassment is illegal. Take it to HR if lines are crossed." It's really as simple as that.
A smart NFL team will grab this player immediately, because

1. Any nervous players will get over it.
2. Marketing bonanza.

If the 49ers draft him, you'll see Michael Sam merchandise everywhere, including Seattle; if the Seahawks draft him, San Francisco is going to be bluer and lime greener.
#11 RTam, I think the point here is that every NFL player has ALREADY been naked in front of and probably showered with gay and bi men, whether they realize it or not. Gay and bisexual men have been showering with straight men since the dawn of fucking time, and the world has yet to end.
Way to go Frank Bruni. He should do back-and-forths with Ross Douthot a la Gail Collins & David Brooks.

You and a couple others rely heavily on that tired old red herring.

I post far more often about the lies Stranger 'writers' tell about politics or economics than about homosexual issues. Right up to the point that a tiny minority of citizens demand the right to dictate social and legal terms for their fellow citizens I couldn't care less about your deviancy. I don't care about what my healthy neighbors relationships are like on the same terms. Or about this football player. It isn't my business. I don't want or need to know.

But it's hilarious when gay or lesbian extremists like yourself force issues on everyone else- then complain about how obsessed with you they are.

Keep it up clown. Oh, and have as nice a day as your deep rooted persecution complex allows you.

A man and woman in a long term monogamous relationship, marriage, is the ideal. And research into whether the depression, high risk sexual behaviors and other problems homosexual identifying people experience at high rates are correlation or caused by the deviant impulses would be useful.

Surprised you understand that really.
@16: Have you noticed yet that most Americans are for marriage equality? You keep saying a "tiny minority" is attempting the change the laws, but the minority is your side, bub. Not that I expect you to believe anything that goes against your chosen set of "facts," but still.

The idea of you claiming someone else has a persecution complex is the most hilarious thing I have read all day. All you talk about is how your tiny little psuedo-Christian world is going to collapse because of same sex marriage. Funny how you were talking earlier about the cognitive dissonance of others huh?

I am a heterosexual man who believes in the legal right of people to marry, and the fact that America should grant citizens equal rights. Where in this view is there extremism? Once again all conservatives can do is take their worst qualities and accuse their opponents of them.

Have as nice a day as your obsession with what gay men do together allows you.
So if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie decide to officially tie the knot, and it's covered by People Magazine (as it will be), that's okay, because it's a celbration of the ideal.

But when Jesse Tyler Ferguson married his husband, and it got news coverage (as it did), that was a bad thing, because it represented a tiny minority forcing its will upon everybody else.

Now I've got it.
Donte Stallworth's response to the Michael Sam hubbub was awesome and perfect:…
@7: You keep saying that homosexuality is an illness or that it is unhealthy. However, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (assembled by the nation's foremost experts in psychiatric issues) doesn't classify it as one. Additionally, it does not fit the well-accepted definitions of illness; while it is atypical, it is not maladaptive.
So what makes it an illness? What makes it unhealthy? What's your reasoning here, anyway? You've refused to explain your stance here, either claiming that a proof would be trivial or fleeing the question outright. Spill, Seattleblues.
Also, I again postulate that you contracted herpes as a child. (I am 100% serious about this.) Care to tell me whether I'm right about that?

@16: The majority of Americans think that people should be allowed to get gay married. Stop pretending that it's some tyrannical minority, because it's actually not. As usual, what you say and what the facts represent are at odds with each other.

@17: There actually has been research into some of the stuff you're talking about. For example, the high rates of depression common to homosexuals seem to be strongly tied to rejection by family members (source). There is evidence out there; you just don't want to acknowledge it because it would conflict with your preconceived notions, and you'd feel torn between your opinions and the facts. (THAT, for the record, is what cognitive dissonance actually is; the discomfort of holding two incompatible ideas simultaneously.)
As for high risk sexual behaviors? That's a male problem, not a gay problem. You (and every other delusional homophobe on the planet) conveniently ignore the fact that lesbians are highly UNLIKELY to engage in high-risk sexual behaviors.
If only there were some way for a naked heterosexual to know if a naked homosexual is sexually aroused in his proximity. Some external physical indicator of some sort… Then locker rooms everywhere would finally be safe.
"Woman up" needs to be the new phrase to aim at homophobic men—and not in a shaming way (as in, "you're being such a girl") but in a respectful way (as in, "let us/them show you how it's done"). Seriously, women deal with this shit every day from the time they are about 11 years old. Maybe we should capitalize on it and start giving workshops to jocks about how to handle unwanted romantic attention or verbal harassment. (I assume they can handle unwanted physical harassment, but I could help them there, too.)
@11 and @23 I think a lot of the men whinging are very predatory wrt to women in public.

Either it's ok for everyone to ogle or it's not ok for anyone. Chose one.

Whatever standard you want to apply to the behavior of gay and bisexual men should apply to men who are attracted to women.
@12 - I think there's a good chance he WILL end up with the Niners or the Hawks. As much as I dislike one of those coaches and both are pretty despised by everyone who does not root for those teams, they both strike me as guys who would not give a shit, generally, support the player, specifically, and make sure that the rest of the team does the same (even with outliers who are easily corralled).

Consider this: Mizzou, in the SEC (the SOUTHeastern Conference), voted him team MVP AFTER he had come out and the he was defensive player of the year when it had to be an open secret. This will turn out to be a non-issue as soon as someone drafts him. And I do hope he ends up out here.
Where we might see Sam playing next year: New England, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Seattle, Denver(?), San Francisco(?)...

Wherever Sam lands you can be sure the decision will need the green light from the owner. NE, Pitt, NYG, GB, and Seattle all have owners who would say yes. I'm on the fence with both Denver and San Francisco hence giving them ?'s.

Where we won't see Sam playing: Miami, Minnesota, and Oakland for sure.

I was wondering about this myself. You are perfectly okay with parading around naked with other men looking at you but if it turns out somewhere inside their minds they were thinking you looked hot then suddenly-THE HORROR!?!?
Hesitate to bring this up but there's also racial component here.

Black American men tend to be particularly homophobic in general. The reasoning I've been given is that America has historically emasculated black men so they tend to double down on hetero-male stereotypes including being aggressive toward those who don't fit that mold.
Dan, you ask people to be accepting of gays, to understand gays etc etc. Yet at the same time you belittle the locker room "saying it is "the fabled sanctum" then go on to make fun of it and the athletes.

My question is this: Have you Dan Savage, ever been in a locker room as a member of a college or professional football team? Have you taken the time to have a conversation with a college or professional football team and asked them what is so important about the locker room? If no, then what makes you any different than the people you are attacking?

You are asking people to be understanding of the struggle of gays yet you attack and belittle a group of people (a football team) and their way of life.

If you don't see the hypocrisy that is unfortunate. But I see it as do others. My reaction? Meh, whatever, why read Mr.Savage? He's a hypocrite.
@28 Religiosity likely plays a role as well.
This just adds to my theory that some straight men's homophobia stems from the fear that gay men will treat them the way these men have always treated women.
@ 3 - If you feel bad about the fact that you and Dan agree on something, you can find some consolation in the fact that Dan must feel much worse about it.
After reading about their fear of being leered at, my first thought was "gosh now you know how us woman feel when ogled." that's what these straight are afraid of, being looked at by gay men the way they look at women.

I was not aware men's egos were so fragile. Get over it guys really
@20: Donte Stallworth should know about team distractions--he killed a man.
Homophobic males : mountains of muscles, so strong when everything is sure to go their way, squeaking like mice when it might not.

Face it : you're pussies.
I hope he does play for Green Bay. They have a significant defensive need, and it would be likely the only thing to change the minds of some Packer fans. Though we do need to give credit where it's due.... they did send Tammy Baldwin to the Senate. And distraction? You had a player change his name to his JERSEY NUMBER! NFL LOVES distractions because it IS a distraction! Tim Tebow isn't on a team on account of his "distraction" factor. He's not on a team because he can't play quarterback at a professional level. Jeez, even Michael Vick got another shot, because he was worth the risk. How many times did Brett Favre unretire? Distraction my ass.
@35 Stop insulting cats like that.
I think the NFL is afraid of teh gayz because if *one* of them were to come out of the closet, the whole rest of the NFL will follow him.

It's almost like people go into pro football to avoid coming out or something.
I think the NFL is afraid of teh gayz because if *one* of them were to come out of the closet, the whole rest of the NFL will follow him.

It's almost like people go into pro football to avoid coming out or something. They're in there to prove how astoundingly manly they are, so that noone ever questions that they might not be.

Please wait...

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