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I'm never eating a Junior Mint again. EVEN IF it's infused in vodka.
Put it back in the new fridge and never speak of it again.
I swear, a phone call to L&I or OSHA would probably get The Stranger shut down.
Call Cienna, she'll eat it.
Was it that hard to figure out, people?
For the love of god, at least do not just transfer the rotten garbage from the old fridge to the new one.
Use those lowly paid (maybe) interns you have for what they are there for.
And, my god, you people live like savages. And not fastidious, gay Savages. Actual, jungle-dwelling savages.
wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun
and make a groovy lemon pie?
Please never change.
However, the rabid drool in the original is quite exquisite, and appears only to have improved with age.
I would build it a Junior Mint sanitation truck with a faulty ignition.
The Story of Sammy Davis Junior Mint
Arthur walked into the record shop one day with a stock pot which he proceeded to deposit directly on the counter saying ‘Here, take it’ as he turned to leave. Curious, I thought, it’s unlike Arthur to walk in with cookware to leave on my counter and then move to leave so quickly. I figured he was double parked.
‘What is it?’ I asked as I lifted the lid and recognized immediately the head of Sammy Davis Junior staring back at me. I had recently seen his head, the very same head I was now looking at, on the cover of our local weekly rag The Stranger. This head of Sammy Davis Junior was a small bust, maybe 4 inches tall, sculpted from chocolate. Specifically, the chocolate that is contained in a box of Junior Mints. This was the head of Sammy Davis Junior Mint and here it was on my counter.
‘Arthur, why do you have this and why is it on my counter?’ I asked. He explained that he had photographed it for the cover of that issue and he’d been unable to get it back to the sculptor. Arthur didn’t want it, it wasn’t getting picked up and for some reason he felt we should now be the custodians of this fine chocolate head. We kept the head of Sammy Davis Junior Mint in our refrigerator at the record shop for the next 10 years.
Two or three years later a guy walks into the shop and said ‘I hear you have the head of Sammy Davis Junior.’ Now, mention had been made of the fact that we kept his head in our refrigerator in our weekly record shop emails to our adoring fans. But, it had been a while since we’d made these remarks. We thought no one was paying any attention. I raised my eyebrows at this fellow and said ‘How do you know that?’ ‘Well’, he said, ‘I made him.’ Word had somehow reached him that the head was in our possession. I asked him if he wanted the head back. ‘Nope, but I’d like to see him’. I showed him the head and he was pleased to see it again.
At some point during our stewardship of the head of Sammy Davis Junior Mint the power went out overnight in our building. Our highly sophisticated, museum quality refrigeration system (which kept our beer, lunches and, of course, the head cool) had no back-up generator in case the power went out. The head of Sammy Davis Junior Mint suffered some leakage. His once beautiful luster had lessened over the years and a piece or two of his once shiny chocolate hairdo slid down his head a bit. But, still, he looked pretty good for a 10 year old chocolate sculpture. This power outage induced leakage only added to his patina.
Many people viewed the head of Sammy Davis Junior Mint over the years and everyone who saw him came away with a large smile on their face. For this, we have Arthur to thank.
When we moved the shop to our new location at 12th and Pike a few years ago we decided to bequeath Sammy Davis Junior Mint to the staff at The Stranger. We asked that they photograph him in his current state and post about his illustrious history on their web site. They did, yet they made it seem as if they were the keepers of the head of Sammy Davis Junior Mint for the last decade. Now, dear reader, you know the truth behind the legend of Sammy Davis Junior Mint.