Comments

1

The Internet is for Linears.

Autistics use the Real World.
2
Say what you will about the rest of the book, but the chapter about how to online date, safely and successfully, alone, is worth the price of the book All the Rules.

I also recommend to clients the second book: Not Your Mother's Rules both by Ellen Fein.
3
I have a sibling I strongly suspect is on the spectrum, but fortunately for me, little sister gets asked instead of big brother.
4
As someone who would probably be considered a high-functioning Asperger's-y autistic, I'll go ahead and say that it's tough. I've historically been entirely unable to tell when someone is flirting with me, and the only reason I have a girlfriend is because she made a play for me.

@1: Go fuck yourself. You wouldn't know a high-functioning autistic if he gave you an unsteady handshake while trying laboriously to read your expression well enough to make an educated guess as to what your immediate intentions were.
5

#4

Seems like I'd do well if I put "Seeking Tourette Syndrome carriers" in a Match.com profile. At least, locally.

6
Does mild autism really make one more vulnerable to creeps? Or less?

Some traits associated with autism - affinity for logic/predictability/plans, straightforward communication, discomfort with physical contact - would seem to make one less vulnerable.

Manipulators/users often use social queues to manipulate, which isn't going to work if she's not picking up on them.

And some "creeps" are just socially awkward guys who might be a good fit for her.
7
I thought the letter and reply were really caring. It would be nice to see sincere comments and for certain people to save the snark for another post. You don't always have to make it about you.
8
@6 - I'm not sure manipulators are the issue (maybe this is more of an issue for trisomy-21 pts), so much as missing social queues when being sent and failing to use social queues and alternate signals so as not to be blunt in ways that drive people away or come off as insensitive...nevermind comfort with physical contact..

But, I defer to Venom who probably knows a lot more about this than I do.
9
#6

Exactly right (possibly).

It's odd, but a couple of days ago I just purchased a book on autism and it had this to say:

โ€œDeficits in any of these areas could make individuals with autism less susceptible to magic,โ€ said Elison.


Understanding Autism: The Search for Answers
by Scientific American Editors

https://kindle.amazon.com/work/understan…

In context it was referring to the con artist's ability to have people keep their eye on the ball (while they do some fast swap out of sight).

The autistic, lacks focus, or rather, takes in an all encompassing view. In the described experiments they were able to deal a task within a wider range of distracting information than was a "normal" person.

10
#9 cont'd

"Understanding Autism: The Search for Answers" also said

Anna Remington and John Swettenham and their colleagues speculate that people with ASD might have a greater than normal capacity for perception so that what appears as irrelevant distraction is really a cognitive bonus


My Note: More so now in the asynchronous Internet world

But they warn:

can have detrimental consequences in real-life situations.


Because the hypnotized never lie?

11
@6,8 I believe the word is "cues". A nice tutorial on homophones and other common errors:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPo…
12
@11 - you are, of course, entirely correct...queues are on my brain because...batch computing. My bad....very embarrassing.
13
@wxPDX: Oops. Still, missing social queues can present its own set of difficulties. ("Oh, you're all waiting for the bathroom, too?")
14
I could say a lot about The Rules books by Fein and Schneider, starting with the fact they they are stone age bullshit. If that chapter has some useful tips, that's great, but I bet some other site or book has said those (and more) useful things without couching them in such utter crap.
15
@2 (sorry for forgetting that)
16
@AFinch

"queues are on my brain" made me giggle.

As you probably know, queue is a French word meaning tail, and also waiting queue (from the wolves reputedly walking in line, head on the tail of the one in front). But "queue" is also currently French slang for dick.

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.