Also maybe find a sex-positive counselor. Man. :/
Oh Dear FEET,
There are lots of wonderful women in this world who will love you and also want you to lick their feet. Your kink is so common; you're so normal.

Make a list of all the wonderful things you bring to any woman and any relationship, including your foot-worship. You can be a wonderful loving boyfriend/husband who wants to worship his girlfriend's/wife's feet. You should be looking for a woman who loves you because not in spite of the fact of your fetish.

Good luck!
"I want to have sons with my future loved woman and, finally, to have sex."
What does that mean? What country is he from? An obvious language barrier, but still... a guy who has access to read and write to your column...I'm just confused.
@3: I don't know, but I sure as hell couldn't write as clear a sentence to someone in another language. I'm impressed. And I understood him to mean that he wants to have it all in the future with some woman he loves: sex and also a family.
A not-so unreasonable or unattainable desire, surely. As to having "access" to read Dan's column and write into it, unless he's in the most repressive place on earth (i.e. North Korea or someplace Taliban or ISIS-controlled--and even then, as a male, he'd have internet access) that doesn't seem like such an amazing feat.
I'm guessing the "sons" thing was just a translation error, and that the writer meant "children." In many languages the word is the same.
Yes, "sons" jumped out at me too. Now I'm thinking of those Rumpole stories in which a female Home Secretary pushed acceptance of the repressive norms of foreign cultures.

It's a shame we can't get an update on the Pokemon boy (though it's much more of a shame that the same spell check that underlines Rumpole accepts Pokemon). Strange that collectible card games would come up here on the same day that I sent my Yugioh-playing nephew the funds via PayPal to acquire the cards for a Madolche deck. Fortunately, I don't think he's developed an erotic attachment to Madolche Queen Tiaramisu (the themed cards of the deck have portmanteau names involving sweets or desserts), though such attachments are not unheard of with regard to such popular cards as Dark Magician Girl, Gemini Elf, etc.
Nothing says "I love you" like a partner who accepts and embraces your kinks.
@2: As much as I want to hug you right now, I do want to also say that there's also a middle ground between "because of your kinks" or "despite of them"... Obviously you don't want anyone actively disgusted by them, but when my husband first mentioned his kinks to me (early on in the relationship, in the interest of full disclosure), there was a moment of, "whoa. okay." It was outside my experience, but it's something I've come to embrace. It's a part of who he is, and I love him, and I enjoy seeing him happy and fulfilled and not needing to hide anything.
I kinda wish Dan had said something about putting the desire for kids on the backburner for now. The last thing this guy wants while he's still sorting out his sexuality and finding a way to meet his emotional and sexual needs (and realizing those aren't necessarily exclusive) is mixing his genes with someone.
@9: Hey, kids make great therapy! They're also the best way to fix a failing marriage. Four drumsticks, too.
Move to San Francisco? Really? In 2014? Does Dan think it's 1976 and Anna Madrigal will rent him the pentshack for $100 a month? This asinine "advise" really needs to be retired. Not everyone is a syndiacated columnist living in one of the most gentrified neighborhood in the country.
Not only is your kink not that uncommon, it's not even that weird for a non-kinkster to indulge in. I mean, obviously you'd probably prefer to find a woman who actually gets off on having her feet licked, but most women I've known find foot fetishes to be, at the very least, neutral (i.e. "This doesn't do anything for me but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself"). The price of admission for a non-foot-fetishist to be involved with you - getting her feet licked - is much lower than with someone who can only get off on piss play or rape fantasies or extreme BDSM scenes.

Best of luck to you in finding a woman who's a little kinky, a little open-minded, and a whole lot worthy of your love.
For some reason, it popped into my head that Vladimir Putin was person behind FEET. Made me laugh.
Off topic, but I'm wondering if Dan could assist with a Dominos pizza boycott. I had no idea how creepy the owner is:…
Oh, never mind, he sold Dominos to Bain Capital. Probably where he got all that loot to create his own dysoptian town.
It seems the part that loves foot worship and the part that's scared to do it in reality are battling. But he phrases this second part as unaccepting. I wonder if he doesn't accept foot worship as a good thing, or if he assumes that others would not. A nice hookup with someone who loves their feet worshiped would work great to calm these battling parts down, I agree. It may help him accept that other people will like the part that loves foot worship. Feet are cool. But speaking of parts of your personality so separately doesn't seem good.

As far as losing it when about to smush with a lady, that seems to be a different problem to me, about being afraid of intercourse specifically for some reason. Until he figures it out, he could take it off the table. I think that he should make friends with more women as well as develop his kinky sex life.

As far as being attracted by traditional means. I don't think a guy with a boner is necessarily sexy, he has to be attractive to me in some way and safe too. I think that most guys need women with open legs to be attractive and safe as well before they get horny. Maybe FEET's exes weren't so attractive or safe? Possibly not safe because he couldn't tell them about his fetish? I shouldn't post this paragraph.
Think about it this way: it might not be easy to find women who are sexually excited by foot worship, but it’s not hard to find women who love shoes. If you’re willing to invest your own disposable income on shoes and pedicures for the woman in your life, she might be very pleased to find such an accommodating man.

Just be sure to provide her the vanilla sex and variety she needs. As Philophile @16 says, you might find it possible with a woman who is happy with your fetish. You can also use positions that give you access to her feet. (Not licking them, but looking at them or fondling them.)

Good luck and have fun!
Dear FEET: You should also check out Fetlife. It's a fetish friendly members only site that is world wide. You would definitely be able to at least talk to people there, and perhaps connect with someone too.
I agree with Dan that it's not really possible or feasible to "get over" a certain kink, but the thing is, that's not really the problem. The real problem is that FEET, and others like him, can't enjoy vanilla sex. And speaking from personal experience, here, it is VERY possible to cultivate a taste for the vanilla. And other things. And it's WAY worth it. There's nothing wrong with a kink, but it does limit you.

Start by accepting yourself and accepting the way that your brain is currently wired to come. Fantasize and masturbate, get more deeply in touch with your subconscious. Try to encourage sexual dreams and keep a journal. Don't try to avoid your fantasy, deepen it. Let it develop. Write erotica about it. Meditate (so good for sex). Try some masturbation sessions where you don't have any stimulus, you're just focusing on your body's sensations (don't expect yourself to come with this just enjoy). Ask yourself questions like, "What the best thing to have happen along WITH foot licking?"

(I'm not a therapist, but I am a phone sex operator. Just applying my observations from the field. And, as I said, personal experience.)
As a psychologist, when confronted with some kinks in people who do want to address this in therapy, I agree that the person should embrace them but I also think it is important to explore how submission fetish can be a way to eroticize what was once humiliating earlier in life--a too dominant parent or a parent who humiliated. The very guy who now wants to be spanked, was spanked on his bare but by his mother. He does not desire his mother, but he desires to turn this humiliating experience into something pleasurable so he doesn't have to face the real feelings of humiliation and terror from childhood. And only facing his earlier pain will free him to choose whether he needs or wants that fetish now and whether a different kind of relationship could also be intimate and fulfilling. The partner who starts enjoying the GGG role of giving a partner pleasure by acting out the fetish can eventually tire of it because they start to feel like an object to a fantasy and not a person in a sexual experience or encounter. Just my thoughts here.
@20 - Good points, thank you. Do you have any thoughts about foot fetishes in particular and what kind of early experiences can cause them to imprint? I've encountered foot *tickling* fetishes, and those make sense, but I don't quite understand feet, yet.
i feel bad for this guy. starting in high school, i WAS this guy, with the same kink except even more extreme domination fantasies, like wrestling with women who got-off on being stronger than me. but i am not weak submissive in real life. i was so ashamed of my feelings i hated myself. i could not tell any girl what i liked, because maybe they would tell someone and it would be horrible. so i kept it all to myself. and that's no good, let me tell you. someday it is too late, and the chance to do what you want and explore who you are is lost. don't let that happen.
@17 Nice ideas.

You can get a foot in your mouth or lick a sole while giving face to face butt sex.

Please wait...

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