Way ahead of ya.

Awesome!!! Some days I just love science. Now I'm gonna live forever.

A shot followed by a shot.

Done and done!

What this really proves is that humans are a bad influence on Macaques.

Then if we extrapolate this data, I AM IMMUNE TO DISEASE.

And in 1982 some people believed that poppers caused AIDS.

What @1 said.

What did the monkeys who drank too much do that was bad?

I can't imagine anything worse than a drunk monkey.

No, no, no, no. Like with voting, have the drink first. Makes the second part easier.

Huh. Chronic alcohol consumption raises the level of serum cortisol—the "stress hormone," even though you feel relaxed after a drink or two—and cortisol is an immunosuppressant. Must be other overriding mechanism(s).

Of course, what we really need is an Opus idyll (Penguin Dreams) for maximum stress relief.

@13: Question: Why do I process a couple (or three) gin martinis better than a couple (or three) glasses of red wine? It must be the sulfites.

...hic...

@14, the consensus is that sulfite sensitivity/allergy is very rare and that most red wine headaches (rapid onset, as opposed to a hangover 6-8 hours later) are from tannins or other chemical compounds (small amounts of "higher" alcohols, ketones, etc.). I generally tolerate reds very well but got a spectacular sinus headache recently after drinking a New Zealand white that was otherwise delicious. Coincidence, or something different in the NZ wine? Must conduct further experiments… Also a gin drinker!

http://westwoodwine.com/blog/2006/07/sul…

http://guides.wsj.com/wine/wine-tips-and…

I came here to say what @1 already said, though I'm sure the researchers addressed this issue in the original manuscript.

@1 That was my immediate thought too, but I wonder whether they were using sugar water to control for some of the negative effects of alcohol: for instance, the fact that both sugar and alcohol are quickly-metablized sources of empty calories, or the fact that too much of either can damage your liver. I'm no monkey scientist though. Anyone else have some insight?

*metabolized. dammit

Which is why my kids have peach schnapps with breakfast. In your face, CPS.

Never. I'm counting on the flu to take me off before I get to be as old as my grandfather.