So there's this guy in the race against Sally Bagshaw who's really, really butthurt he didn't get The Stranger's endorsement. His name is Gus Hartmann, and here's how he's described by the Stranger Election Control Board:
Google engineer Gus Hartmann... good lord.
This guy showed up looking very tech now—chunky glasses, Fitbit-looking watch, clothes that probably cost more than the SECB's collective wardrobe—and told us he was running because the new tech arrivals in this city act like their mere presence is such a civic good that the rest of Seattle should bow and scrape and thank them. We were with Hartmann until it turned out he had shown up to our meeting with zero—literally, zero—actual ideas for what should change in this city. In other words, he felt that his mere presence in this race was such a civic good that the SECB should bow and scrape and endorse him. In other words, he was exactly exemplifying the problem he supposedly launched his candidacy to combat. We were not pleased, and after a bit of a verbal thrashing, Hartmann admitted that showing up and wasting our time was "literally the least I could do." You got that right, Gus.
That is pretty tame stuff compared to what we said about other candidates, including the candidates SECB endorsed! (Seriously, Gus, you read the rest of our endorsements too, right? The ones that weren't about you?) Hartmann is hurt and evidently he's going to just keep telling us about it. Yesterday we got a voicemail from Hartmann that said:
I feel insulting my glasses was a pointlessly hurtful insult... So, anyway, I would like a retraction on the statement that my wardrobe cost more than the entire SECB’s... So anyway, yeahhh, give me a call back. Have a good day.
Insulted his glasses? I thought chunky glasses were still in? Anyway, I guess because no one called him back, Hartmann is now taking to balloons-and-chocolate delivery services to convey his feelings. Inside the heart-shaped box are chocolate-covered strawberries. (Or chocolate-covered poison pellets in the shape of strawberries? Who knows!) Here's a close-up of the card:
Gus, I hate to tell you this, but it's "whose."