Ahhh, the HAHBAH!
Ahhh, the HAHBAH! Vlad G./Shutterstock

In my experience, Boston is the American city with the greatest gulf between what you think it will be like and what it is like. I always go in with visions of Steven Wright and the Pixies and end up with Donnie Wahlberg and, like Aerosmith. '80s Aerosmith. Not to say it isn't great, but it's also the city where I feel the most likely to get punched in the face by a random stranger for being a fahkin' queeah.

But I've always found the dialect a pure pleasure to hear—partly because it's so hard to imitate accurately. Which is why these videos of Michael Bergin and his friend Jay, two Boston bro-mins experiencing the naked rapture of an encounter with an unknown sea creature while on a boating trip, has filled my day with glee. The only shadow is the prospect of hearing a million people saying "what the fahk is that, bro?" a million times before the weekend. But I can take it:

Today was a great way to end summer thank u
Posted by Michael Bergin on Thursday, September 17, 2015

The saga continues below:

Posted by Michael Bergin on Thursday, September 17, 2015

Whatever else you can say, the accent is wicked peerless, and, as the accompanying article points out, almost impossible for non-local actors to get right. In addition to their negative examples, I would cite Rob Morrow in Robert Redford's 1994 movie Quiz Show as the all-time worst, followed closely by Martin Sheen in The Departed and Kevin Costner in 13 Days. But if you want to hear a GOOD comedy New England accent, I recommend the Dana Gould Hour podcast (which I recommend for about 30 other reasons, too), particularly the "Political Talk With Two Guys from Boston" segment, in which Gould and Mr. Show alum John Ennis play Johnny Condon and Robbie Sullivan from Bevilacqua Heating & Air Conditioning ("We're cool if you're cool").

Or you could just watch these videos again.