Do you even get new emails Dan?
@1 look at Dan's instagram, he & huzz just got back from Germany… -- seems like it was a really nice trip
I meant look at his huzz' instagram, he & huzz just got back from German
I meant from Germany. well, they probably just got back from Germans too, looking that hot.
"no recordings are made"

That's a good point, Dan. But hard to enforce since it's his house. Maybe have him send you cash ahead of time. And then shut down any discussion of money when you're at his house and potentially being recorded. Wouldn't want him to have incriminating material he might be able to use to blackmail you later.
I understand that re-posting is used when Dan's away and stuff, which is fine, but it would be nice if the opportunity was used to do an update of the situations. Do letter writers ever write and tell how the situation comes out, and if so could they be added to the re-posts. I am sure if that was started, more people would send in updates.
That's pretty good money, I'd do it if anyone asked.
Another way to read this. I might be making too much of a stretch:

Husband wants the babysitter (duh), but is ashamed/sees the relationship as inappropriate. The invitations for "self defense training" and/or ball punching clearly creepy, but motivated by a desire to connect emotionally with babysitter. Telling the wife is his way of... Rationalizing an otherwise totally inappropriate relationship.
Overall, guy is probably depressed, creepy but ultimately harmless, and should find therapy. But not a conscious manipulator.
@7: I'm a straight middle-aged dude. While I doubt I would be as enticing as a 22-year-old gal, I'd be happy to kick that guy in the balls for $150.

Might it be worth having this agreement in writing, to protect her? Would not want the rich asshole to sue her should her kicks be more damaging that he anticipated. This is especially likely if the wife finds out: rather than cop to hiring the former babysitter for sex-work, hubby is likely to thrown her under the bus and claim she assaulted him.
@9 such a document wouldn't protect her; it would show the cops that she agreed to perform sex work for money.
@9, 10 et al: I have no concept of the way it would work in my own jurisdiction, much less WKBFM's, wherever that might be, but are such arrangements likely to be perceived as sex work? If not, wouldn't that be less legally precarious?
My babysitting career was never so colourful. What a weird man.
If it is a sexual transaction then $300 an hour sounds about right.
Is it worth it though.
@11: IANAL, but I wouldn't be too surprised if it wasn't hard to frame this in a way that legally wasn't sex work. Mostly because this kind of kink doesn't have too much recognition as being sexual.
If it involves one person's genitals, and the exchange of money, and it's not a medical procedure or grooming, then, yes, the cops will see it as sex work.
Does it mean I'm old that I remember when Savage Love was all ball-kicking, poo-eating, and horse-fucking all the time?
@8: "But not a conscious manipulator."

You have a pretty weird definition for this.
@16 I guess I'm differentiating between people whose enjoyment derives from the act of manipulation - conquistadores, etc. Maybe it's a pointless difference.

Overall I don't really feel to good about that 'read' anyhow... too many actions on dude's part to qualify for benefit-of-the-doubt.
@9: "Might it be worth having this agreement in writing, to protect her? "

A contract wouldn't necessarily insure her from any concerns of liability in the case that the untrained Dom inflicted permanent damage.
@17: Oh yeah. I don't think he's necessarily getting off on the manipulation (but maybe? This would probably fall apart with a more symmetric relarionship and honesty among all parties), but it definitely has the weird stink of grooming on it seeing as he was probably employing her in her teens.
With regard to possible risk of being charged with selling sexual services:

From what I understand (and correct me if I am wrong as I am neither a Domme nor an attorney) many professional Dom/mes who do not provide sexual services (as they are delineated by the local prostitution laws) but do otherwise "sell" other Dom/me services are often not prosecuted for prostitution, depending on that jurisdiction's laws. Just because he may find sexual stimulation with/without orgasm from their activities doesn't mean that she necessarily would be charged for selling sexual services AKA prostitution.

However, she should CYA. The guy can always turn the tables on her and "defend" himself. There are many other ways this could go all wrong including but not limited to her being charged with assault should he suddenly need emergency healthcare services. Even if he refused to press charges, she and their activities could be thrust into the public eye.
Using a contract to avoid criminal prosecution seem to be missing the boat (and not effective at that, anyway). Personal safety should come first.

If you're going on a first date, you tell someone where you're going and give them verified details about the person you're going to see (real name, phone number, email, meeting place, etc), right? So if things start getting weird, you won't be acting when you say, "My roommate knows I'm with you, has your contact information and a copy of our emails setting up this date. Let's not give her any reason to worry. I don't want to spend the rest of my evening filling out a police report."

So in additional to Dan's advice about ball-buster and ball-bustee being honest about what's going on, I'd advise the LW to disclose the arrangement to another party. And tell the creepy dude that she's done so. THEN take his money and start kicking.
In the metropolitan area where i live the going rate for BDSM services is around $300 an hour to $350. Most providers who mention ballbusting are usually at the upper end of the scale or have provisos in their tribute section that intense fetishes may incur an extra cost. So i hope if she did it, that she for $400 to $500 if in a large city, a little less if in a small one.

As far as protecting one's self, a string of emails back and forth can establish a clear accounting of what was intended, but there have been court cases, Ii believe in Canada and Great Britain which concluded one cannot give prior consent to assault.

I once spoke with a Domme who did a ball busting video and she said she did it to see how far she could go so she really loved the session.
@20, IANAL but my understanding is that flogging or caning someone's back, arms, shoulders, thighs, feet etc. doesn't count as sex and doesn't violate prostitution laws. Putting someone in a cage likewise doesn't count as sex. Calling them names and making them lick your boots doesn't count as sex.

But genital contact of any kind (even in the form of CBT) would count as sex and as prostitution if money changed hands and the authorities found out.
@20: He could also go past her comfort zone and actively assault her :(

It'd be less of a concern if he was just subby and wanting her to pin HIM.
There's another important aspect to consider here: kicking another human being is assault (and also battery), and consent is no defense to assault.

Without knowing the other person very very well, and being 100% sure that, if things go wrong and he is irrevocably injured he won't press charges, I would strongly advise the LW not to do this.
clarification: I'm referring to criminal charges, rather than a civil lawsuit. All the contracts in the world would not be a valid defense against criminal charges (though a reasonable prosecutor would probably take a contract into account when making a charging decision.)

Either way, not a great idea.
@23: This isn't legally "genital contact" if he's clothed during the ball-buzzing. Otherwise strippers could be prosecuted for prostitution for grinding on a client's lap.
*busting, not buzzing
@27: "This isn't legally "genital contact" if he's clothed during the ball-buzzing. Otherwise strippers could be prosecuted for prostitution for grinding on a client's lap."

The problem is that what you suggest is not a defense.…

"Section 647(b) of the California Penal Code defines prostitution as “any lewd act between persons for money or other consideration.”

Unfortunately, that law does not articulate what constitutes a “lewd act” so you will have to turn to case law and court decisions for accepted definitions. That will take the efforts of an attorney.

Even then, his interpretation may be different from that of an investigating officer. I know some officers who would not bat an eye at what you propose and the thought of arresting you wouldn’t cross their minds, however, my prior captain’s personal morality is such that he would perceive a clear cut violation and hook you up in a heartbeat.

The whole thing may come down to what the prosecutor will or will not give a criminal filing on after an arrest has been made."

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