Ben Carson: Come at me, bro
Ben Carson: Come at me, bro. Christopher Halloran /

I'm not opposed to dialogue. By all means, talk about difficult issues! But oh God, Ben Carson, please stop talking about the shooting in Oregon, or maybe just don't talk at all, because in a field crowded with lunatics, you've managed to outdo them all on this issue.

For example, Ben just boasted that if there was a shooter near him, he'd rally everyone together and all attack the gunman en masse, because he is a Rambo. "I would not just stand there and let him shoot me," he said. So brave, this man. He knows exactly how he'd behave in a shooting.

It's hard to imagine what Ben was thinking when he smiled and said that when there's a mass shooter, everyone should just run at him, adding, "he's not going to be able to kill everybody!" And so a new campaign slogan was born.

Probably the worst thing Ben has said is that "I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away." Jesus. Can you imagine having this guy as your doctor? "Sorry, you have brain cancer. Yeah, I know it's sad. But it's not as sad as a waiting period to make a purchase at a gun show!"

The thing that I find craziest about Ben is that he actually means what he says, unlike Donald Trump who clearly just says whatever he knows will get attention. When someone challenges Ben, he just shrugs and agrees with himself.

He also apparently has some kind of insane guns-for-kindergarden plan, with teachers trained and supplied with firearms. But he also has no idea how that plan would work, because every time he describes it, it's like he's just spitballing an idea on the spot.

When challenged about the sanity of his idea, he meandered all over it. "Not all kindergarten teachers," he guessed, and "I want that teacher trained in diversionary tactics."

Okay, so how exactly does this work? There's a gun in a locked box (or maybe not, just on a high shelf?) and a shooter comes in, and the teacher creates a "diversion" of some kind, like a game of duck-duck-goose, and then runs to the locked box (or shelf) and grabs the gun and starts exchanging fire there in the classroom? And the kids do what, rush at the shooter and kick him in the shins?

Ben also said that he probably wouldn't visit with the victims (like the president is going to on Friday). Yeah, fuck those guys!

"I would probably just go to the next one," he said. Well, sure. It's important to have things to look forward to.

Ben also suggested the creation of a database of "dangerous people" who are not allowed to have guns. Because that's worked great with airplanes.

So what's going on here? Why is he making so many crazy statements? What could possibly be — oh, here's the answer, from a NY Times article:

Offering a prescription that echoed the National Rifle Association’s view that arming “good guys” is the answer, Mr. Carson also suggested to USA Today that kindergarten instructors should have weapons training...

Oh okay. He wants NRA money. Well, that explains that.

Ben Carson for President: He's not going to be able to kill everybody.