but presumably, you're going to get laid, while Wussell Wilson is not. because of Jesus.

This like something Sam Kriss or Jeb Lund would write but not as good or funny.

Did Wilson ever give any of his Jesus-blessed miracle water to Lockette?

Maybe he could have avoided surgery if he had some magical water.

@2: I thought it was funny. Certainly funnier than those stupid "is it a commercial for apple juice, or just a terribly unfunny humor piece" things the Stranger did for a while.

I remember before a flight to colorado for a bachelor party I was at Wendys at the airport and who should happen to be behind me? Wilson and Sherman and some non descript white lineman. Didn't say anything as that would be an imposition on them but its interesting to see just how jacked these dudes are up close. On their way to Hawaii.

Go Hawks!

I thoroughly enjoyed that. Thank you.

I have no idea who Russell Wilson is, and you know what? I'm not going to google him. Take that, you in-the-know people.

Nicely written!

What's up with the baby? Is this why those two are supposedly celibate?

I sat right next to Marshawn on a plane. All I got was hit by his jacket twice and annoyed by him rapping over his gold headphones while wearing a mask.