Exactly what I was thinking, just... you know... articulate.

Yeah my thought on the letter was who is this guy dating that none of them are EVER up for a quickie? Is that really the case or is he just painting all women with a stereotypical brush? How feminist is that?

Or he is really bad at quickies.

I feel like I just gnawed my own leg off to escape a Women's Studies seminar.

Great insight. It suggests the LW should look for someone like me - I appreciate a man getting so turned on that he drops all interest in pleasing someone else and just takes what he wants. Terribly unreconstructed, and I'd probably change my tune if I often experienced inattention in the bedroom. So maybe the LW needs to find women who have got sick of his previous approach? Exes maybe?

This makes nothing but sense. Yes, a lot of women are GGG and happy to indulge their partners in a maintenance quickie. I'm down with that, particularly when typical full-on sex involves me having many orgasms to a male partner's one.

Indulge their partners in a maintenance quickie? Women can and do get off during quickies.

@DAVID ha!

Meh. I think Dan's answer was more spot on. I mean sure, this person has some points about it basically being fun and relaxing to not have to worry about the other person once in a while, but the original LW seemed to be really, actively turned on by the event - not merely relieved to not have to do the work. He was already seeing a sex worker for the express purpose of not having to do all the work, so that relief was there. He was really, explosively turned on by being treated somewhat callously. I'd say there's something more to that than simply being happy to not have to put in more effort.

Just enjoy it, buddy. I'm sure there are plenty of women - sex workers or girlfriends or one night stands or what have you - that would be willing to treat you like you're just a minor annoyance/distraction/paycheck while you bang them. I'd be TOTALLY into that scenario in fact, if most of the time my SO was very invested in my orgasms and once in a while he just wanted to do this instead.

L0ki: Has anyone ever argued that one is not allowed to come when indulging one's partner in maintenance sex?

Perhaps LW also has the kink to objectify women for the sake of objectification. In addition to or instead of exercising some self hatred.

You see "objectification" openly acknowledged and even celebrated in the BDSM world. Dominance and submission runs on a wide spectrum from just play (perhaps where the LW is now) to a 24/7 inside and outside the bedroom foundational relationship practice.

I'm a hardore left wing feminist. AND a sexual and relational submissive. And sometimes it's just fucking awesome to have my boyfriend/lover/Dom simply take what he wants without regard to my wants. It is a huge turn on to be the object of that much desire.

The sex worker may feel the same.

Side note* politics and sexual orientation/kinks are not causal or even related to each other. Any more than gender identity and sexual orientation are. My feminism informs my rational belief that I can chose to engage in whatever kind of sex, kink and relationship I want/need. And it may feed in to how hot my sex life is because that sex life may be considered transgressive by society at large and other feminists in particular.

But I have been sexualy and relationally submissive as far back as I can recall. It feels like an orientation. But I had to learn to be a feminist.

Lot of good thought in this one. Maybe you can take this person on as an apprentice, Dan.

If a woman fakes an orgasm with me, well, she's gotten her own reward.

That being said, I posit a third theory: The phone call was sexy because it reinforced how "casual" the sex was. He was looking for casual sex, and it was so damn casual that his partner didn't even stop her moment-to-moment life, like she was a coworker of a suspect on an episode of Law & Order.

@2 he probably views Quickies is "inherently demeaning" or "inherently about male pleasure" because "women can't get off quickly" or something.

This reminds of any number of 90s-era male feminists I know/knew whose interpretation was basically "defer to all women on basically anything". They were ahead of the curve, but weren't any closer than a Dugger to consider a woman a valid societal peer.

@11curiouser; I'm a feminist and do not in any way feel your story is transgressive. Feminism to me has always meant finding my authentic self, wherever I'm at, and living it. My mistakes are always my own.
Fetish @ 15; this guy is 45yrs old, born in 1970, smack bang in the middle of the revolution.. Poor man has probably been pushed pillar to post ever since.
LW. Many women love it when a man goes for what he wants, the power of that energy can be very erotic.

@15 Yeah almost like a madonna/(literal) whore thing. I mean I like orgasms and it's good that female orgasms are no longer considered totally optional but there's something a little off off putting about someone going on and on about all the orgasms they give the ladies. Um that's nice...

I just want to throw out here that in more explicitly transactional sex, dealing with a straight man's assorted emotional needs about feeling desired and capable of pleasing a woman is exponentially more taxing than simply presenting a warm wet hole for him to stick his dick in. So there might well be some insight in this alternate take, but all I could do is keep rolling my eyes that EVEN WHEN ALL HE WANTS IS A DAMN QUICKY it apparently still needs to be the next Great American Novel.