Ashton Kutcher v. Dan Savage


Ummmm okay.
The internet was invented for Starfuckery Fantasy
Giving him a pass on how he spelled "apetiser" was pretty nasty of you.
1) What, you didn't answer the last email??

2) I have to admit, that letter was funnier and more eloquent than I would have given Kutcher credit for.
Where are the clips of you on Bill Maher and Larry King? Feed my Savage obsession!
this cat is la's sarah palin. just wait until he runs for gov.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever read.
No, it was falsely eloquent. "Hence" doesn't mean what he thinks it means, and makes no sense there; the word he wanted was "because". That's not eloquence; that's poshlost.
We're on your side. Every time. Especially when it comes to douchebags like Kutcher.
Q: What was nasty about my response?
A: You didn't capitalize appropriately.


or he replied with a silly name
question; isn't it funny that dan kept the emails?
He's too pretty to be interesting. That's just how it works. If you're too pretty too early on, you don't develop a personality/sense of humor/brain. It's best if you don't achieve physical perfection until during or after the college years.

Do you think he talked the way he does before That 70's Show? I think his Kelso character left a scar on his communication abilities. Now he always sounds dumb and stoned.
Ashton Kutcher isn't even good enough to lick your boots. Unless that's part of your fantasy, in which case I'm sure you think he's eminently qualified.
I don't get why it should have been obvious that Jason Goldberg was, in fact, Ashton Kutcher.
First off: 1) when did Adrian Ryan die; and 2) why are you channeling him?
So do you still want to watch Brad Pitt come all over his face?
Everybody does goofy things in e-mail, and they should not have to explain themselves. It's cheapshit dirtquick messaging, and when alcohol is involved it doesn't take more than three seconds to do something tasteless.
Why are we talking about Ashton Kutcher when Hugh Jackman exists?
Avorrit, patetic i no en Catala
maybe he meant nasty as in dirty? he thinks of the discussion as dirty maybe and so remembers you as having sent him nasty email...

i dunno.

i would have saved them too.
@20: Thank you. EXACTLY.
Jason Goldberg was the old CEO at my work, I think it's awesome that Ashton Kutcher pretends to be him.
Bizarre. I think he holds a hetero torch for you Dan, and that is why he keeps bringing it up. Saying they were nasty just causes more speculation and interest in him.

But still....weird.
For the realtime clip with Dan Savage:…

Start at about 5:15

Now somebody needs to find the Larry King clip
His jokes were bombing and his commentary was wishywashy hollwood bullshit . He had to do something to impress Bill & the audience.
@20. /agree. I so wanna watch Daniel Craig come all over Hugh Jackman's face
I conducted an incredibly scientific survey during the last World Cup, and concluded that the Swedes have the best-looking team, as a whole.
Dan Savage you fucking rock
Being vulnerable and open about this
there is good in this world
Seriously, I got completely hung up on the fact that Jason Goldberg was the former CEO of Jobster, who fled to NYC in shame after the company went tits-up. He knows Ashton how?
@8 - Quite true. Nothing annoys more than people misusing language in attempting to come off as more eloquent than they naturally are.

That said - I admit I didn't previously know the word "poshlost" but now that you have spurred me to look it up, I can't find a definition that seems appropriate to the context. Is this not an adequate starting definition for me to understand the meaning of the term?:
"This one word encompasses triviality, vulgarity, sexual promiscuity, and a lack of spirituality."

(It seems to me like the humdrum word "pretension" would be entirely sufficient, barring the existence of some word that distinguishes pretentiousness when it is intended to distance one from their on-screen persona.)
..he's a happens to me ALL the time...
"back in the pre-Punk'd days, the pre-smoking-a-cigarette-on-the-cover-of-Rolling Stone days, the pre-Demi days"

Don't you hate it when the cute ones go bad? It's like watching fresh fruit decay.

And your note was fine. Although you should have closed it "with love, dan". As a general rule.
Never mind, I have found the whole Savage press junket

Larry King:…

Bill Maher (with just Dan Savage):…

And D. L. Hughley looking scared that Jesus will smite him for sitting too close to a gay:…

And I assume everyone has already seen the other cnn clip. So that should cover it.
I love this.

And @ whoever asked - If *I* had an email exchange with anyone famous, hell yeah I would keep the emails for eternity. For precisely this sort of reason. Proof!
I don't see how this publicity is bad. It must feel kind of delightful!
Any half-wit could tell you there was nothing nasty about what you wrote. This is why I can't understand why you felt the need to ask if there was. Oh, I mean other than to talk about how one time you received an e-mail from your famous crush. Pathetic!
That story was nowhere as entertaining and dirty as I had hoped it would be...
Why do we care about Hugh Jackman when there is Orlando Bloom?
you're making my trucker hat VERY angry.
I never heard of Kutcher until I read about him in Dan's column. I'm sure I'm not the only one. They should both be grateful for the mutual publicity head.
Oh, I watched that clip..! Dan, I actually felt for you when he said he would never date you, or however he put looked a little hurt.

I wouldn't say your response to Ashton was rude, but curt. Meester Kutcher needs to have a reality check - you're kind of a big deal, & I'm sure you must get a slew of Email from all kindsa nutters.

I think Ashton must be obscurely flattered, 'cause as mentioned above, he's the one bringing it up. Did Bill Maher know you two had a little history, before inviting you both for the same night?
I think Ashton loved it. He's a professional sex symbol; it's his job to be objectified. As if anyone cares what he has to say about the economy.

That whole Ashton Kutcher/Brad Pitt obsession is what got me hooked on Savage Love to begin with. It was so delightfully dirty. Say it again, Dan! One more time! YOU KNOW HE WANTS YOU TO!
He wasn't really that good of a speaker after Dan left. His points on prop 08 were not that deep. (though were appreciated.) His knowledge of American history seemed to be equal to that of a seventh grade civics class. Jon Meachum, on the other hand, was awesome. (The relationship between religion and politics)
Maybe Ashton and Demi will adopt you!
@41: because we are not 14-year-old girls in 2002. Orlando Bloom is temporary, Hugh Jackman is forever. Especially if Daniel Craig is coming all over his face.
Ashton Kutcher is a bad, bad man. No one should read his blog.
I totally forgot he was "Jim Morrison" in Down to You. Loved that movie. Whatever happened to Julia Stiles?
I got an answer from Dan when I donated to NoOnProp 8. I'll be keeping that two sentence email for fucking ever.

Dan, Kutcher's email to you was clever, and I don't think your response was nasty. I have no idea why he's being a douche bag about all of it, but my guess is that he's no longer all that famous, you become more famous every year, and you're famous for reasons far more valuable to society and the human condition than him.

He's jealous, and trying to ride your ass, and coming off as a douche.

Have fun with this!
@50: She fell off the face of the earth (I hope).
Hmm, did Ashton feel objectified by you? His letter sounds like a long way of saying I have a brain too you know. Maybe he felt your response was mean because he put some effort into a response to you, and you not realizing who he was, just sent a curt no-banter email back. Hence hurt feelings cos he wanted more interaction with you.
Argh - thanks, @29. Now I want to see that too. Darned contagious, these fantasies.
@39. Don't you think Kutcher was joking around? He was smiling, and Dan had teased him twice. Personally, I think this entire post is Dan joking around, needling him in a friendly way. Honestly, my previous post was mostly tongue-in-cheek (I do kind of think Kutcher is douchy) because I think this is all a joke between both of them.

@46. I agree that Kutcher was struggling with what he wanted to say, but his comments on Prop 8 were touching and very sweet.
Kutcher was the one feeling nasty. Dan was being neutral. So Kutcher read his own feelings into it.
Kutcher was an ass. In my opinion.
Isn't anyone else wondering why Dan kept the correspondence with Jason Goldberg but deleted the back-and-forth with Ashton? Something doesn't smell right here...and it ain't just the caprese apetiser.
Hmm, no trace of the reply, huh Dan? Convenient.
Given what a nasty bitch you can be when you feel wronged, I'm siding with Goldberg on this one. That and, lengthy explanations are often the worst ones.
how about those coke parties with the Bush twins, ol' Ashie??? we wanna know the dirt, like when the secret service walked in on you????
Yeah have that eternally "bitchy" gay side that undermines your credibility here. I watched the episode of Bill Maher and if body language is any indication of guilt.....I would say you looked rather "guilty" my friend.......but to give you some slack....Ashton is one of the most beautiful creatures walking the earth. BKI
Dan is much cuter than Kutcher anyway.
Isn't Jason Goldberg, Ashton's producing partner? I believe they did Punk'd together.
@58. Honestly, it makes sense that, once Dan's crush began waning, he'd stop keeping the emails.

And #61, I saw that exchange as Kutcher trying not to appear homophobic, while still trying to keep his credibility with his "Punk'd" fans. Dan just looked embarrassed that he'd ever had a crush on this douche bag in the first place.

At the same time, it all seemed just like a big joke.
Thank you 36, you're my hero.
Dan, Oh Dan. He's so pretty and your fantasy is so right on, but how can you get past what you might have to deal with after everything was cleaned up and you go, "Wow that was great - now what?" Listen to Mr. Kutcher and remember that the fruit looked good to Adam but he sure didn't like being stuck with the results of indulging! (His Nikon ads in Nat. Geo sure play on his man/boy beauty)
@ #46 - Totally right on about Jon Meacham. That man pretty much always rocks. Not only is he generally really smart, he's also very thoughtful about American history and almost never knee-jerk.

As to Ashton - seriously? This is the guy in Dude? Where's my Car? and he's complaining about Dan being superficial? Really? A former underwear model? I hate pretentious fucks who think they're better than their place in life. Remove superficiality and Ashton is back on the farm in Iowa. Dumb ass.
GET OVER IT DAN! So what! Some washed up fuck who's dating an overage half decent actress/whore is offending you? You're classier than this!
Umm... re-read it -- I believe he was trying to say "since" and miss-typed.
Dan, I'm not sure what the contemporary meaning of nasty is, but the love gravy of the Bad Prit all over the face of a straight man may qualify. Yes, your fantasies preceded Ashton's writing you, so they were not a response; but you give us the entire context as well as the exchange right up until you know you are corresponding with the Ashton. Your response at that point is omitted, because you didn't save that one. Why?

So let's be honest. Your case is not convincing. I do not give a shit about Ashton. But you are such an eloquent spokesman and your extraordinary visibility right now is so important that maintaining your integrity really has to supersede scoring points rehashing a sophomoric joke from 2002.
I tend to think that maybe Ashton is more of a righteous dude than not, but I thought he was pretty ungracious to Dan on the show. He could have just smiled, blushed, and played along. Ashton's wealthy and in a happy relationship (I suppose). He's got everything a young man from Iowa could desire, right? So what did he have to lose by being nice?
Man, I don't blame you, Dan. Ashton Kutcher is freaking hot. The only reason I watched Queer As Folk for so long was because Gale Harold looks exactly like him and he has a LOT of sex in every episode.
christ, what a snooze
Joe Fudgepack? What ... ? Real nice TV tour Dan, especially the AC360 bit. -Classic!
and who doesn't think that Demi, Bruce and Ashton are NOT having three-ways???
I saw the episode of Bill Maher, and I have learned something. My sex-party AND dinner-party would include Dan Savage and Ashton Kutcher. (The third person will be Doris Kearns Godwin, who can go into the other room and watch a DVD after dinner).
Hell hath no fury....
So who is your latest wannabe pedo conquest Dan?
@8 and @33:

Nabokov on the meaning of poshlost (via Wikipedia):

"[Poshlost] is not only the obviously trashy but mainly the falsely important, the falsely beautiful, the falsely clever, the falsely attractive."


"Corny trash, vulgar clichés, Philistinism in all its phases, imitations of imitations, bogus profundities, crude, moronic and dishonest pseudo-literature—these are obvious examples."
I watched this episode of Mahr. You're really over reacting. Geez...Ashton Kutcher turns everything into a loud, silly display. After you continued to call him out on the show, what did you expect? He punks people, for pete's sake. The fact that you felt compelled to defend yourself just shows that you're waaaaaaaaaay too uptight. Relax...
"Brad Pitt coming all over Ashton Kutcher's face"

Nice :)
Why fantasize about impossible-to-get-straight guys when you can have fantasies about a good, hot, gay man like Neil Patrick Harris?
i saw the Marr thing ... Aston Kutcher is fucking dumb and stoned and gets everything wrong all the time ... ... and i could tell his dumb ass was wrong by the look on Dan's face when Aston Kutcher opend his dumb mouth... "If Brad Pitt ever did cum all over Aston Kutcher's dumb face" .... Aston kutcher is so dumb he would have his dumb mouth open while Brad Pitt is doing it ... and most likley saying something wrong ... and dumb

fuck Aston Kutcher anyway ... give a shit; give a shit
... drdem

OK, not a really big deal for me (somewhat disrespectful maybe) all I read is that the world of dan savage has quite the sycophants.
Ashton Kutcher is truly retarded. He really fulfills the stereotype of attractive stupid person perfectly.