Blogs Feb 6, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Have WiFi Or Don't Have Wifi, Okay?

Dan Savage
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Comments

1
I like to ask first, before ordering or anything. It helps staff not have to deal with my frowniness later if it turns out shit that happens has happened.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:27 PM Report this
2
Dan,
It's just WiFi. Don't have a stroke. I'd like to read more of your columns in the future.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:29 PM Report this
3
At the cafe where I work, oftentimes we don't know our WiFi is down until a customer comes and asks us if there's a problem with it.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:31 PM Report this
4
Bummer, brah.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:31 PM Report this
5
Let me take a wild guess...

Victrola?
on February 6, 2009 at 12:37 PM Report this
6
I like to think of the cost of beverage + tip as hourly rent for a table. You can't buy one cup of coffee and take up a table for 5 hours. Either buy something else, or leave a big tip. Or both....
on February 6, 2009 at 12:44 PM Report this
7
I smell an upcoming SLOG scoop on local cafe owners SUCKING GOATS.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:47 PM Report this
8
Unplug the router, then plug it back in... wifi back up before you can say "venti, no-whip, extra hot, half-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte."
on February 6, 2009 at 12:47 PM Report this
9
Um... isn't that exactly WHY they don't have a sign on the door? Somebody's cranky.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:48 PM Report this
10
Preach it, Dan!
on February 6, 2009 at 12:50 PM Report this
11
Sounds like the Voxx finishing school strikes again.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:51 PM Report this
12
Come one, Victrola turns their WiFi off only on the weekends when people who have jobs would actually use it. Hence, why I don't go their for my coffee and computing experience.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:53 PM Report this
13
Why not buy a mobile wireless card from your cell phone carrier? Then you can sit in the cafe for hours and there is nothing the sneering baristas can do about it.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:56 PM Report this
14
Tethering to a 3G phone works for me. Then I can go to cafe that doesn't offer wireless and not have to compete for outlets.
on February 6, 2009 at 12:59 PM Report this
15
5, 12: You must be talking about the Victrola on 15th. Pike Victrola is accessible and awesome. They just need more outlets...

Dan: A+ post, I applaud all words.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:00 PM Report this
16
Where's the obligatory "This isn't LiveJournal" complaint?

Someone is neglecting their duties.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:02 PM Report this
17
had to be victrola
on February 6, 2009 at 1:04 PM Report this
18
Dan:
Let's start with a deep cleansing breath...up through the nose...out through the mouth...let it go...it's okay.

You already recognize you're not at your office and it's beyond your control.

It's not your monkey and you don't have to take it on.

Another deep cleansing breath...up through the nose...out through the mouth...let it go...

Better?

Have a super day!
Love,
San Francisco
on February 6, 2009 at 1:06 PM Report this
19
It isn't just the WIFI issue. Customer service is supposed to be just that: service. That is why we tip. If a customer asks a question or makes a request servers should answer politely, even if the question seems unnecessary, stupid or self-evident. Eye-rolling, what-ev attitude, and impatience are not what a customer has come in for. They also don't deserve to be treated badly if the server has had a bad day. Customers who are rude or inappropriate can be dealt with professionally as well. If servers can't be professionally courteous, they need a different line of work.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:10 PM Report this
20
Tipping based on WiFi use? What did that barista do to supply me with WiFi? What is the barista losing by me using WiFi?

on February 6, 2009 at 1:12 PM Report this
21
Can we still wear red PJs just like in our home office for Heart Day?
on February 6, 2009 at 1:13 PM Report this
22
@19, It's a recession! We should be getting better service from the "service industry". If they can't or won't give the job to someone else who can do it well.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:13 PM Report this
23
@15. If you had a Mac it'd run for four hours without plugging in.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:24 PM Report this
24
Dan, tell me it wasn't Vita? I'm literally about to walk there to get some work done. If there's no WiFi, I'm re-routing to Bauhaus.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:25 PM Report this
25
I've got a PhD and you want better service?

Excuse me while I diagram an Etruscan Poem about how your plight fails to reach me.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:26 PM Report this
26
@11

Right on the money.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:27 PM Report this
27
Why would you tip based on how long you take up space and use their wifi? It makes more sense to buy a drink every X minutes. Wifi doesn't exist in cafes so you can go in there and buy a 12oz drip and use their internet for 3 hours, regardless of how much you tip the barista.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:28 PM Report this
28
@23: Unless you've been using it elsewhere for four hours and you still need to get work done. Outlets are key. That's one reason why Bauhaus rules, there's plenty of them along the side bar, which means you get work done and have awesome people watching distractions.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:29 PM Report this
29
#25, not to be harsh, but your PhD involved diagramming Etruscan poems and you wonder why all you can find is a service job?
on February 6, 2009 at 1:30 PM Report this
30
With that fucking attitude problem, it's a miracle @25 can even keep a service job.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:45 PM Report this
31
Excuse me while I write a computer program to graph my level of sympathy against the PhD choices of people with a sense of entitlement who can't find jobs.
on February 6, 2009 at 1:53 PM Report this
32
I sat at a wired cafe yesterday for four hours and I made sure that I bought something (a coffee, a bowl of soup, a donut, etc.) every hour I was there (even though I probably didn't need to.
on February 6, 2009 at 2:06 PM Report this
33
the king of passive aggression speaks.

"instead of asking the people, i'll just go back to work and whine about it on my blog"
on February 6, 2009 at 2:51 PM Report this
34
What is with Americans demanding perky service employees? They are there to serve you food or coffee, not be your pal. Why must servers pretend to be "happy to serve you!" when they obviously are not. They are doing a job. I am getting food/drink. I don't give a shit if the server doesn't use a friendly tone. She is not my friend. We do not have any kind of emotional connection.
on February 6, 2009 at 2:55 PM Report this
35
@34

because Americans have a choice to walk a half block further and get the same drink from someone who is polite, that's why
on February 6, 2009 at 3:12 PM Report this
36
@34 They don't have to be perky and I don't want them to be my friends. I want them to be polite. I am. That is not too much to ask since it is actually part of the job description.

I also understand that there are instances where one might be working at a job for which one is over-qualified. That doesn't give one the right to take a personal grievance out on the public. Some of the customers may be in the same boat.
on February 6, 2009 at 3:33 PM Report this
37
Also, the cafe is not your living room. Wake the fuck up from your nap, and get your feet off the furniture. Oh yeah, and buy something when you use the WiFi instead of hiding and looking sheepish when you know that I know that you didn't buy shit!!
on February 6, 2009 at 3:43 PM Report this
38
@34, Do you think they deserve tips?
on February 6, 2009 at 3:43 PM Report this
39
The existence of the hospitality industry is a sign that unnecessary class differences still exist in our society, the fact that many Americans (I'm Australian) believe that "the customer is always right," philosophy should be adhered to is proof of a caste system in your "great" country.
I know most hospitality workers don't get paid well, and even if they do, I know they would rather be following their dreams, and reaching their potential than waiting on me, so I'm always polite and respectful, and expect no fake cheerfulness, nor do I expect them to be nice to me if I'm rude to them.

I always feel a little bit ashamed being waited on by someone who earns less than me and no doubt has a worse and more boring job than me.
on February 6, 2009 at 5:07 PM Report this
40
um, bruce if you think patronizing rude coffee shops strikes a blow against global capitalism, i think i have a clue why the revolution hasn't come
on February 6, 2009 at 6:35 PM Report this
41
I work at a shop that fills up with laptop users, and I am frequently trying to calm my boss down about the amount of time people spend using the shop an as office, instead of a place to relax with a cup of coffee. I disagree, to my dismay, with Dan that you should tip based on the amount of time you intend to spend - as I'd love the extra money! But ultimately, people who come in and can't find a seat or an available outlet go somewhere else, and the business suffers for it. If a barista is eyeing you, or comes up and asks "can I get you anything", fucking pony up or get the fuck out. The library has free wi-fi, leeches.
on February 6, 2009 at 7:20 PM Report this
42
Speaking of it not being your office-- stop making WORK PHONE CALLS while you are on your laptop. No one wants to hear about it. Some of us come to cafes to relax and shit. If you need to make calls--- stay fucking home and make your own coffee.
on February 6, 2009 at 7:20 PM Report this
43
As an Eisenhower Silent Generational throwback, I wish I could give a flying fuck about how your café fails to attend to your cyberspace needs. In the day, people actually left their office to take a "coffee break". They left their work behind for 15-20 minutes. Apparently MBA programs offer little or no advice on obtaining and utilizing clues. Here's one: Café = Coffee. Café doesn't equal "office", nor "laptop lapdoggery", nor "self-importance vestibule".
on February 6, 2009 at 9:18 PM Report this
44
@42, you go to cafes to shit?!?

i'm guessing dan was @ fremont coffee.
on February 6, 2009 at 9:25 PM Report this
45
Does anyone else think there's maybe a market for cafes which specialise in giving laptop users a place to come in and do their stuff? A public office/cafe? They had one here in Melbourne. It had atmosphere, coffee, and a bar, but also has printers, scanners and computers with adobe packages and other office equipment for people to use. Like Kinkos but way cooler. It's called 'public office.'

http://www.barfinder.com.au/public-offic…
on February 6, 2009 at 9:39 PM Report this
46
Dan, don't you have your own office? Like, one with a door that shuts? Not a cubicle? If so, just do your work there.
on February 6, 2009 at 9:44 PM Report this
47
We have WiFi and a lot of outlets. But I would also suggest Online Coffee. That place is great for computer use.
on February 6, 2009 at 10:58 PM Report this
48
At #41, LOL
on February 7, 2009 at 4:56 AM Report this
49
@ 29, 30, 31 - I'm sorry, but did irony die in Seattle? Can it not make it out to the pacific time zone? Because I'm pretty damned sure #25 was making a joke. I know that most of my friends with 90% useless PhDs have fairly good senses of humor about it.
on February 7, 2009 at 9:16 AM Report this
50
You may not always find wifi
but on slog you never run out of
whine fi
on February 7, 2009 at 10:38 AM Report this
51
#5, #17, etc. It is spelled Vitriol.
on February 7, 2009 at 11:26 AM Report this
52
I can't help but throw in here that suitable reading level illumination seems to be missing from many coffee houses these days. I'm not a mobile combuter user and it often seems as if cafe light levels are perfect for using a laptop and that's about it. Unless the low light is intended by the cafe mgmnt. to convey the idea anything besided chatting in person with friends is not an acceptable use of the cafe, perhaps a bit more light would get people out of their computer and into a newspaper or something. It's hard to kill more than 2 hours at a time reading paper media anyway, so it might help.
on February 8, 2009 at 1:03 AM Report this
53
@39, you are a tool. Go back to Australia and feel guilty for your own baristas.

Not every service worker is miserable. Service industry jobs usually offer the kind of flexibility that a 9-5 doesn't. You sound out of touch when you suggest treating waiters and bartenders with kid gloves. They aren't helpless, they made a choice to work there (recession or not).

There's a lot wrong with America. The general public's regard for the service industry is not one of them.

Now get the fuck out of my country and go shear some sheep.

Sincerely,
Former bellboy, dishwasher, busboy, and amusement park answer guy
on February 9, 2009 at 12:41 AM Report this
54
First, it's a bird, now, no WiFi. Jeez, can you imagine what Dan was like pre-internet, before he could whine online? Did he bottle it all up, and then release it every few weeks at some unfortunate soul? Or did he immediately point out to random strangers all the ways that his life was less than perfect? Just how unpleasant a person was he to be around?
on February 9, 2009 at 9:24 AM Report this
55
People who dick around forever in a cafe or restaurant ought to tip accordingly, as their ass is a huge opportunity cost. I've been in the situation where two people, sitting and talking for hours has cost me four or five tables, and all the tips accordingly. It's not fair not to tip accordingly. It's not like I'd come into any of these people's offices and sit in front of their office door, blocking them from work.
on February 10, 2009 at 11:47 AM Report this

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