Blogs Feb 11, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Most Awesome Van EVER (circa 1984)

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
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Comments

1
since when is rape funny?
on February 11, 2009 at 5:02 PM Report this
2
FALCOR!

I could easily be lured into this van.
on February 11, 2009 at 5:12 PM Report this
3
@1

Since the first very bad human being laughed about it. The world is full of very bad people. I am a very bad person.
on February 11, 2009 at 5:13 PM Report this
4
It's mind-blowing for me how that airbrushed artwork looks exactly like what would have been painted on a carnival funhouse or pinball machine when I was a kid. Was it done by some decrepit stoner whose technique has not advanced even scarcely in 20 years?
on February 11, 2009 at 5:15 PM Report this
5
Ugh. Ignore the captain's chairs and the welded-chain steering wheel, and the inside looks just like my grandma's house.
on February 11, 2009 at 5:17 PM Report this
6
Atreyu and Artax! Dear Gott in Himmel! I thought I was Michael Andreas Helmuth Ende's greatest fan! I've been usurped!

But he could have at least made the humans look a bit more like the actors that played them.

p.s. Does anyone else loathe Neverending Story III? That steaming pile was written, directed, and acted out by people who obviously never read the freakin' book at all... and obviously never saw the first 2 movies either. Oy!
on February 11, 2009 at 5:20 PM Report this
7
@1: oh boo hoo. Go find another playground if you can't handle this. As someone who was sexually abused as a kid, I can say that humor is *the* most important tool to get over horrible traumas.
on February 11, 2009 at 5:20 PM Report this
8
Not Artax! Don't remind me.
on February 11, 2009 at 5:23 PM Report this
9
Artax still makes me sad too...

And this is what happens when you graduate from kiddie-candy vans and get into some serious modding...

http://www.pinktentacle.com/2007/05/extr…
on February 11, 2009 at 5:29 PM Report this
10
dude. Do you know how many chicks you could score with this?
on February 11, 2009 at 5:36 PM Report this
11
A) Really, rape jokes are almost never funny.

B) The Neverending Story is horribly over rated.

C) There is no certainty that no one was ever raped in that van.
on February 11, 2009 at 5:43 PM Report this
12
Well, thank Herr Porsche it's not a VW bus. We're way classier than this monstrosity.
on February 11, 2009 at 6:03 PM Report this
13
Back when I was in junior high I used to fantasize about owning a van like this (except for the Never Ending Story or rape part). I remember when Sears had big catalogs they used to sell accessories for vans. My paint job would have been either Pink Floyd related (the cover of Meddle) or Genesis related (something related to The Lmb Lies Down On Broadway).
on February 11, 2009 at 6:34 PM Report this
14
If you volunteer then it's not really rape, is it?
on February 11, 2009 at 7:01 PM Report this
15
people are so touchy. I make jokes about rape and I've been a victim of it in the past.

anyway, this van is far cooler than the Star Wars one I saw driving down I-405 a few years ago!
on February 11, 2009 at 7:29 PM Report this
16
@11

Yeah, the type of person who posts in list format would be the type of person who isn't charmed by Neverending Story and can't understand the difference between "not funny" and "not funny TO ME".

And isn't it fun to wonder? :D
on February 11, 2009 at 7:51 PM Report this
17
Hey Comte, speaking of VW vans, I never got a chance to thank you for that camping spot tip you gave me last summer. It was SWEET, as this picture shows:

http://www.jubien.ca/summer-08/washingto…

BTW, we hiked up the hill across the road with a bottle of wine and toasted you at the top. Thanks again! I'll definitely be back there.
on February 11, 2009 at 8:32 PM Report this
18
I miss my old '69 VW bus (my '74 one, not so much).
on February 11, 2009 at 9:45 PM Report this
19
I would so drive that.
on February 11, 2009 at 10:58 PM Report this
20
the license plate makes it.
the dried eucalyptus makes it Home.
on February 11, 2009 at 11:48 PM Report this
21
Artax! I cry ever time. So obsessed with this movie that I read the book in the 4th grade...and I don't like reading.
on February 12, 2009 at 12:41 AM Report this
22
It's the inclusion of so much Neverending Story II on that van that really ups the creepy factor for some reason.

I loved the movie as a kid, and still do for what it is, but after reading the actual book? There is waaaaaay more going on there than they even momentarily rub up against in the movie.

I've probably said this before, but the best airbrushed painting on a van ever would be Gandalf riding on a Skeksis holding Glamdring the foe hammer over his head while it is being struck by lightning that is eminating from the hand of Paul Lynde. There is no disputing this.

Also, violet_dagrinder rules.

on February 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM Report this
23
WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THERE A GMORK VAN??? A NOTHING VAN????
on February 12, 2009 at 9:46 AM Report this
24
That's some fine rapesmanship!
on February 12, 2009 at 10:16 AM Report this
25
I'd just like to clarify my comment above by saying that I loved the *original* Neverending Story movie as a kid.

The sequel, however, is like being slapped in the face with a handful of wet garbage and cheesy horse dick. Was back when it came out, taking a wild guess that it still is now.

Glad we could clear that up.
on February 12, 2009 at 1:52 PM Report this
26
That is phenomenal. I used to wear necklaces on my head and pretend to be the empress. If my kid had been a boy I probably would have considered maning him Atreyu.
on February 12, 2009 at 1:57 PM Report this
27
Jonathan Brandis is conspicuously absent. Perhaps out of respect for the departed?
on February 12, 2009 at 2:11 PM Report this

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