Food & Drink Feb 24, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Eating My Way to Victory

Paul Constant
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Comments

1
Chili sauce?
on February 24, 2009 at 1:18 PM Report this
2
So thats what Dino is doing these days.
on February 24, 2009 at 1:19 PM Report this
3
I'll bet they'd go down a lot faster if they stuffed them with foie gras.
on February 24, 2009 at 1:27 PM Report this
4
Shit Constant, I hope you're practicing. Garbes is gonna bring the noise!
on February 24, 2009 at 1:28 PM Report this
5
I looooooooooooooooooove that you're going to compete against Dino Rossi in a spring roll eating contest.

And I think "compete against Dino Rossi in a spring roll eating contest" is my new favorite phrase of all time.
on February 24, 2009 at 1:35 PM Report this
6
You damn well better represent against Dino. If you come in 6th, Dino better be seventh. The weight of the liberal blog commentator's world rests on your shoulders.
on February 24, 2009 at 1:42 PM Report this
7
Anything that is "all you can eat" is inherently immoral. But have fun. :-)
on February 24, 2009 at 1:44 PM Report this
8
I predict a Dow and Dino tie in regulation, with a sudden death spring roll-off settling the match.
on February 24, 2009 at 1:49 PM Report this
9
And you should all go to the "spring roll" and witness the eat off live! To purchase tickets please got http://www.idspringroll.org/ Buy tickets at early birds price by March 15th!
on February 24, 2009 at 1:49 PM Report this
10
You must prepare!! Eat a ton of food and drink tons of water for the 2 days prior to the contest. This will temporarily stretch the capacity of your stomach, allowing you eat more. Don't be fooled by people who say not to eat for a while before and that being hungry makes it easier - your stomach will shrink its capacity and it will make it harder.

Trust me - I've seen the preparations leading up to successful eating of an entire Gorditos Grande Burrito twice now, and won a chicken-wing eating contest myself.
on February 24, 2009 at 1:52 PM Report this
11
I was going to say...

The contestants are somewhat of a surreal life casting call
on February 24, 2009 at 1:59 PM Report this
12
I like Winter Rolls.

Much better.

And remember, normally when you eat this most of your food is rice.
on February 24, 2009 at 2:01 PM Report this
13
Watch out Constant! The Bus is bringing the ruckus!
on February 24, 2009 at 2:13 PM Report this
14
I thought this is why you have interns. Ms DeMartini you're up.
on February 24, 2009 at 2:14 PM Report this
15
I speak from experience here - the water tip is hella-important. You should aim to drink so much that there is basically *no point at which you do not wish to pee* in the two days pre-spring rolls.
on February 24, 2009 at 2:15 PM Report this
16
I think Brock Huard's gonna own this one. It's hard to out-eat a football player, even if he was a Puppy.
on February 24, 2009 at 2:22 PM Report this
17
How come there's only one lady in the contest?!
on February 24, 2009 at 2:35 PM Report this
18
Uh @17...do you know Angela Garbes? She ain't no lady.
on February 24, 2009 at 2:40 PM Report this
19
My money is on Garbes...
on February 24, 2009 at 2:44 PM Report this
20
This is the most exciting thing I've heard all day!
on February 24, 2009 at 2:45 PM Report this
21
hey, i've got a "the only rossi i trust is carlo" shirt left over from the election if you want it to wear at the contest! actually i've got two! one is a men's large and is in spanish (el unico rossi en quien yo confio es carlo), and the other is a medium in english.
on February 24, 2009 at 2:59 PM Report this
22
this is awesome - geologic, paul constant and dino rossi!
that's as weird as yoda/samuel jackson teaming up
on February 24, 2009 at 3:04 PM Report this
23
i'm for Team Garbes!
on February 24, 2009 at 3:35 PM Report this
24
I hope you use plenty of performance enhancing drugs (weed). Good luck!
on February 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM Report this
25
If you puke, please do so in Dino's mouth.

Thank you,

Washington State
on February 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM Report this
26
I got five bucks on the hairy Bus kid.
on February 24, 2009 at 4:15 PM Report this
27
garbes bested me in a pie-eating contest. you're a fool if you're betting against her!
on February 24, 2009 at 4:22 PM Report this
28
Paul, were you ever nicknamed Lardass? To bad this isn't a pie eating contest.

I suggest you don't load up on castor oil and raw eggs right before eating ;)
on February 24, 2009 at 4:29 PM Report this
29
Don't make eye contact with Huard, he's scary. And I swear to god, beat Rossi BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
on February 24, 2009 at 4:31 PM Report this
30
@ 18, I am going to take that as a compliment...

I will be stuffing my face on behalf of all the Filipino girls that have ever been called Chinese, all the Hmong ladies who have ever been called Vietnamese, all the Korean chicks who've been mistaken for Japanese, and, most important, every old Asian lady who has ever lovingly made an egg roll or dumpling.

And I'll be doing this all in my finest elastic waist pants. Suffer, swine!
on February 24, 2009 at 4:42 PM Report this
31
gar-BES! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes! gar-Bes!
on February 24, 2009 at 4:44 PM Report this
32
AWESOME!!! Eating for a good cause!!!! :) And this cause rules!!! Funny, the event is even called the Spring Roll!! Looks like a packed event! www.idspringroll.org! Their tag line says --> "party down for chinatown"!
on February 24, 2009 at 5:21 PM Report this
33
Somehow, I can't see Dow Constantine winning an eating contest of any sort. Where would he put it? Now, Greg Nickels, that's another matter.
on February 24, 2009 at 5:36 PM Report this
34
@1, damn straight chili sauce. The hot sauce at Phnom Penh is the best in the ID, maybe the whole city, because Sam makes it in house.
on February 24, 2009 at 7:47 PM Report this
35
Simone @28, awesome ref.

"In an agony of propriety, she vomited into her purse."

Near as I can recall, anyway.
on February 24, 2009 at 7:49 PM Report this
36
you gotta be one of the good guys, paul, cause there's way too many of the bad.
on February 24, 2009 at 8:17 PM Report this
37
No, I take back what I wrote @28. Paul, you have to load up on the caster oil and eggs. Only if you are sitting next to Rossi and there are members of the Local Elks Lodge people wearing antler hats.
on February 24, 2009 at 8:29 PM Report this
38
I don't know who this "Angela Garbes" person is, but she clearly can't use that mouth for anything but talking a big game. This is a two-man race, and Dino's gonna be crawling away from it.
on February 25, 2009 at 1:30 PM Report this

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