Blogs Jun 6, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Comments

1
STOP TALKING ABOUT BLOOD! Gross cannibal wingnuts...
2
"Did you know God bought you with his own money?"
3
That was more than irritating.....

What is most disturbing is that many people wouldn't see anything strange in this video....

(I grew up with a bunch of them)
4
This country really scares me at times. Any agnostic type children programming out there? Maybe in a 100 years...
5
Chill, Danno-
have YOU had a donut?
6
Perverting little brains for ...exploitation.
7
of course it was around the donut hole. at somepoint when the man comes out of the closet he will be so ashamed of his misteachings.
8
Christian children's shows are the freaking scariest things that have ever been produced.
9
@4 Sponge bob Square Pants-smurfs-flintstones-magic school bus-curious george--- oh, Im too tired for this game.

That vidoe was obnoxious to the nth degree, but not so much for its message as for the really lousy... well, everything. That was just bad.

But keep in mind that until recent years, this was all some christians felt they could show their kids. They were told that allowing their kids to watch normal tv was of the devil and if their kids had to watch tv it should be uplifting, happy and bible-centered. And early christian videos were just realy terrible (I know, I used to have to watch them) with the kind of acting tallent you only see in... well, 80's-era christian childrens videos. So its painful to watch, but only to the degree of having to watch an episode of Barney.
10
Now, I'm hungry.

Maybe I'll head over to Top Pot or something...
11
I would pay good money for that creepy as hell bread loaf on a baking pan puppet.
13
4 teletubbies
14
Does anyone else think the white kid with glasses looks the nerdy guy from Boy Meets World?
15
For me the moment of terror during this video came when I realized suddenly that I'd seen it before, when I was very young, and that I used to think the talking donut was kind of funny.
16
That was just all kinds of creepy.

We should probably try to remember the face of that grown up - seems like he could be a candidate for "Youth Pastor Watch" (I'm sure that his participation in this production is counted as a type of youth pastoring).

Now excuse me while I go find some porn or other wholesome thing to try to wash video clip out of my mind. Brrr.
17
So is it a FCC requirement that the kids all be labeled "TOOLS" or is that part of a voluntary truth-in-advertising program?
18
I couldn't make it to the end. What the hell did the ginormous silver pearl have to do with the price of donuts in China?

@9, don't forget Davey and Goliath and its ilk--
19
"Donuts. Is there nothing they can't do?"

The Book of Homer
20
Somebody should do some research and see if that emissary of Jesus ever appeared on the ever growing youth pastor watch...
21
JoeG @ 18,

It's from the Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl, found in Matthew chp. 13 vs. 45-46.
22
rewind:

The kingdom of heaven is the giant pearl, I should have added that. Sorry.
23
I'm totally baffled by this. Mostly because I cannot come up with anything I would change to turn it into parody. It's already parody, culminating in the "blood of Christ" stage whisper at the end. Is it possible the makers of this show are actually subversive athiests?
24
Didn't this show's producers get the memo about how only child molesters wear mustaches?
25
That shit is fucked up.
26
So, these people believe humanity "used to belong to the devil, but God wanted us back"? And what means did this all-knowing, all-powerful entity decide was the absolute best way to ensure the return of his property?

Does he kick the devil's ass and take back what belongs to him?

Does he ask politely for the return of said property?

No! He sends his kid down to earth, sets him up for a slow, painful death at the hands of a ruling secular authority, abetted by the religious authority figures of the locale where he happened to plop the kid down, then uses his "blood" as currency to effect what turns out to be some sort of metaphysical business transaction!

Oh, and love the part where we humans are merely "property" to be exchanged between these two supernatural beings; yeah, that explains a lot.

But even better, the people who choose to believe all this think the best way to impart this information to their own children is through the employment of inane songs, and talking bakery products? Really?

Is it any wonder I can't take a word these people let dribble out of their slack-jawed pie-holes with even a minimal degree of seriousness?
27
Hey, Dan very creepy. As a fellow Chicagoan there must be some ghastly stuff out there from The Magic Door. Remember the theme song: Come through the Magic Door with Me Gilly Gilly Gilly Ah Sa Sa - yes I'm sure the spelling is wrong, but I'm not Jewish, so I hope I'll be forgiven by the acorn gods.
28
Comte @ 26,

Points for getting the general idea, although your summary is an extreme oversimplification. Your summary has some errors, but your premise that it doesn't make sense isn't off the mark. You see, it is a decision your heart makes. It has no rhyme or reason, at least it doesn't for me.

Despite our slack-jawed pie-holes, not all of us who choose to believe think that best way to impart this information to our own children is through the employment of inane songs, and talking bakery products. Some of us choose to be out in community helping the poor, paying to educate orphans in Niger and Mozambique, counseling women in crisis due to domestic violence, and advocating for equal rights for the LGBTQ community. We understand that taking the talk without walking the walk is bullshit. We prefer to teach by serving. We've observed that the best testimonies are made with actions and very few words.

I've always enjoyed your comments. They have been thought provoking. But, I must disagree with some of this one, you're free to ignore my dribble. :)

Best wishes,
k
29
@17 And why doesn't the adult get a sign, too? He seems like an enormous tool.
30
T minus until the child abuse scandals come out. Dude looks like he wants to eat those kids.
31
@ 28:

What about those good works requires jesus / the bible / Christianity? Would you have not done them otherwise? The whole notion seems so utterly non sequitor. I applaud you for doing them, but I utterly fail to see what faith - especially Christianity or any one single belief system - has to do with it. Can I not do good work for my fellow human because I'm not "saved"?
32
@31 - Absolutely you can. And you are right, doing good things can have little to do with faith.

But, speaking only for myself, doing good works, advocating for those society has forgotten, and speaking in favor of justice for all is a response to my faith. It is a response to Jesus' commandment to "Love one another as I have loved you."

Now, I don't believe that I am earning my salvation or anything like that by doing good. In fact, my particular brand of Christianity believes that there is nothing we can do to earn salvation - it was a gift freely given by Christ when he died on the cross. Doing the right thing is simply following in Christ's footsteps, and living by his example.

I will grant you that other denominations would tell you something else entirely. And you know? I think that is something that frustrates both non-believers and Christians on both sides of the theological continuum; we claim to worship the same, trinitarian God, but our interpretations and understandings of the story are entirely different. A conservative Catholic, a conservative Baptist, a conservative Lutheran, a liberal Lutheran, a liberal UCC member, and a liberal, Christian-identified, Unitarian Universalists are all going to give you different answers if you ask them what is the "Good News" and what should our response be.

Hope that made sense. It is 1:30 a.m. and I shouldn't be thinking deep thoughts this late.
33
One of the problems is, we've tasted quality faith-based children's programming. Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was in production, teaching us unconditional regard, from 1968 to 2001, and was one of my best influences as a kid.

I have to agree with Schmooze in that I thought it was a parody until about three quarters through the clip before I got that sinking feeling that this was really intended as a kids' show.
34
what did I learn today? I learned that this is f'ing scary, and that religious tv shows are the work of the devil.
35
Juris @ 31,

Absolutely, you can do good. Having compassion for others and extending a helping hand, can have very little little to do with faith.

For me, "good works", are a response to the command we are given to "love one another as I have loved you." It is the driving force that takes me beyond my personal selfishness, it is the movivation that gets me out of my sick bed to help a woman fill out a restraining order because she's scared. It's my humbling point and the mirror, by which I see my own faults and failings, and my own need for grace.

I don't believe that I can earn salvation. I don't belive that I am earning bonus points, either. I know that there are denominations who think differently. My involvements with society are my sincere desire to follow Christ, they are the outward manifistation of my personal relationship with him.

I hope that helps.
36
This man is setting of my child-molesterdar big time
37
there isn't too much in the world creepier than a guy talking to children about bloodletting. and then dancing with them.
38
i thought this was a wondershowzen skit at first. it's a fascinating thing when parody and reality are indistinguishable.
39
tools...
40
Man, the molester moustache. The thinly-veiled anus references. The blood. Oh, god, the blood.
41
What a bunch of tools.
42
I finally watched this, and I wish I hadn't, this is fucking creepy.
43
Fuck me, that was upsetting.

44
@4 - umm...what? Children's programming nearly always tends toward the secular because it's championed by those godless commie leftists with their public television. Religious "moral majority" asshats like Newt Gingrich have always been the ones trying to shut down that sort of thing while religious children's programs are the sorts of things you can only get for payments of $19.95 from infomercials.

Hell, even Mr. Rogers (a freakin' MINISTER) didn't get all God-preachy on his show.
45
Two girls and a cup was less disturbing than that.

If God is omnipotent, why would he need to sacrifice anything just to change his own rules? God couldn't forgive your sins without having to kill his "only son"? Who ever made this stuff up didn't really think through all the plot holes.
46
You guys haven't seen this shit before? My fundy parents *raised* me on The Donut Man. I think they even took me to see him live when I was in grade three. The guy in the video is Rob Evans, you can see more of his stuff at http://www.donutman.com/

47
I wanna see that guy's VH1 "Behind the Music" special. I'm curious which drug landed him in rehab. Or which little boy landed him in jail.
48
Because this is less evil that stealing their imaginations through disney, exploitation and cheap consumeristic media?

"American culture is no longer created by the people. A free authentic life is no longer possible in America today. We are being manipulated in the most insidious ways. Our emotions, core values and personalities are under siege from media and cultural forces too complex to decode. A continuous product message has woven itself into the very fabric of our existence. Most North Americans now live designer lives. Sleep, eat, sit in a car, work, shop, eat, watch TV, sleep again. I doubt that thereā€™s more than a handful of free, spontaneous minutes anywhere in that cycle. We ourselves have been branded.

Life in America is like life in a cult we have been recruited into behaviors and cultural patters we did not consciously choose.

Does the child who sits in front of a television set 3 to 4 hours a day, shops at the mall with her parents, goes to school and recites the pledge of allegiance, plays computer games, listens to her president encouraging everyone to go out shopping in order to defeat television, wears clothes form the Gap, and plays with toys created out of the imagination of Disney and Hollywood, every actually choose the American way of life? Did she go through a ritual of initiation beyond getting her first Barbie? Was there a moment of conversion in her life where the American dream became her dream? No. She imbibed this monoculture consumerist dream in the fast food she ate, the polluted air she breathed and the visual culture she inhabited. And so she was converted, made into a cult member, before she ever knew what was happening. Lasn points out that ā€œdreamsā€ by definition are supposed to be unique and imaginative. Yet the bulk of our population is dreaming the same dream. Itā€™s a dream of wealth, power, fame, plenty of sex and exciting recreational activities. When a whole population dreams the same dream, empire is triumphant. An alternative to the empire requires different dreams, animated by a different narrative.
Colossians remixed page 171. Culture Jam The uncooling of America. "
49
@48: What does any of that have to do with this show about donuts and Jesus? Are you saying that by watching low-budget brainwashing, kids are somehow better off?
50
If I eat a virgin donut, is that an immaculate consumption?
51
argghhhhh!!!!!!!

Idiot Nation!!!!!!!

When historians write about the fall of America, they will date it to now. This video will be Exhibit No. 1.


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