Blogs Mar 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Have a Dog? Have a Cat? Have a Sex Partner?

Dan Savage
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Comments

1
"Have a Dog? Have a Cat? Have a Sex Partner?" Boy, do you know how to make a girl laugh.

Yes, I have a dog. The only impact he has on my sex life is the occasional sound of his throwing up on the carpet, a very un-sexy sound. Oh, and his fur on my pillow, the stink sneaks up on the bed when my back is turned. Then, I have to endure his sad Labrador eyes when I catch him.

Yes, I have a sex partner. Wearing that man out is on my daily list of things to do. And, the dog is locked out of the room, always. No sad Labrador eyes allowed.

I'm boring.
kim in portland on March 30, 2010 at 4:20 PM Report this
2
Yeah, I was surprised that the simplest and perhaps most common solution to having sex when you are a pet owner was left off the answers. I always escort pets out of the room and close the door behind them before I get frisky.
Griffin on March 30, 2010 at 4:25 PM Report this
3
The things Stinker has seen...
Dan Savage on March 30, 2010 at 4:31 PM Stranger Staff
4
Pets and sex. Hmm. No thanks.
Fifty-Two-Eighty on March 30, 2010 at 4:35 PM Report this
5
Dan's wording makes it seem they only want to hear from people in relationships, but they seem to want to hear from singles too.
cephi on March 30, 2010 at 4:36 PM Report this
6
Pfff, our cats know to stay out of the way.
Ben on March 30, 2010 at 4:37 PM Report this
7
My friends keep telling me that if I'd get a dog I'd get laid more. I believe it as long as I can get one as cute as theirs, which I don't think is likely, their dog is pretty fuckin cute. She's a year old and people still go goo goo over her like she's a pup. I have never seen a dog get that kind of attention after 6 months.
Tingleyfeeln on March 30, 2010 at 4:40 PM Report this
8
WHAT IS IT WITH ANIMALS AND SEX TODAY

a new theme tomorrow, please.

sometimes we have to choose whether to throw a cat off the bed or let them stay. it can be awkward.
sepiolida on March 30, 2010 at 4:41 PM Report this
9
Stinker is tiny, blind in one eye, deaf in one ear. I'm sure he isn't suffering too badly with doggy nightmares. Especially, if either of you left your briefs on the floor, then he was happily absorbed in something else. Be grateful he doesn't have opposable thumbs to write a "Tell All" about you.
kim in portland on March 30, 2010 at 4:42 PM Report this
10
@3: That line is even more thought-provoking after this weekend, Dan.
Baconcat on March 30, 2010 at 4:42 PM Report this
11
It's still OK to have sex with your bacon, though.
Fifty-Two-Eighty on March 30, 2010 at 4:54 PM Report this
12
Ok, the survey was fun.

How often does your cat interrupt your sex by licking you. hahaha
sepiolida on March 30, 2010 at 4:56 PM Report this
13
what the hell is wrong with people who let their CATS interfere with their sex lives? seriously, you have to plan and distract a CAT while you have sex? cats are the most distractable animals in the world, with the possible exception of elementary school kids. the noticeable difference between the two species, however, is that cats dont give a shit if they catch you having sex, and when mine does he ususally just leaves to go destroy something. as is his custom.

my cat is an asshole.
sallybobally on March 30, 2010 at 5:20 PM Report this
14
what the hell is wrong with people who think they have to distract their cats while they have sex? cats have like, no attention span and will just leave if no one is paying attention to them. or at least mine does...when he catches us having sex he just leaves and goes and destroys something in another room.

my cat is a total asshole, by the way. neither me or my boyfriend can really come up with a valid reason we love that little fucker so much, but i do have to admit, we're happier people because of him. flesh wounds and all. animals are weird.
sallybobally on March 30, 2010 at 5:24 PM Report this
15
whoops. double post. first one didn't show up initally, sorry kids
sallybobally on March 30, 2010 at 5:25 PM Report this
16
You should change the title to: Do you have a pet? Do you like doing it? Me Too!
on March 30, 2010 at 5:27 PM Report this
17
They call it Pussy for a reason. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get Miss Wiskers...
Cato the Younger Younger on March 30, 2010 at 5:46 PM Report this
18
Why only dogs and cats? What about birds or reptiles?
cowyeow on March 30, 2010 at 5:49 PM Report this
19
My dog normally curls up in bed with us at night, but it seems she can sense when we're horny. She hops off the bed and curls up in her doggy bed before foreplay even heats up. She's cool like that. If only our roommate had the same 'do not disturb' instincts.
pain on March 30, 2010 at 6:03 PM Report this
20
My cat is also an asshole. I'll be using my Hitachi under the blanket, and he'll come over and pounce on it. I taught him though. I shoved it in his face when it was on and he never did that again. Heh.
Clever_Innuendo on March 30, 2010 at 7:17 PM Report this
21

Well, that whole, have your dog ride on the back of your Harley motorcycle thing that middle aged guys think should be really sexy and should attract women, never seems to work.

It's like the time honored question: What's the one think you never see in the passenger seat of a Miata? Answer: a hot chick.
on March 30, 2010 at 7:51 PM Report this
22
Chico (not my gardner) will knock the door down if we lock him out of the bedroom.

If we let him in the room, he chills on the ottoman and just hangs out.

What a sick fuck he is.
Theshue on March 30, 2010 at 8:01 PM Report this
23
The guy I'm currently fucking has two cats. One time I was about to finish jerking off on his chest when one of them started making dreadful puking noises. I couldn't help but connect the barf sounds to the image of my dick squirting and I had to stop before I finished.

The cat gave me blue balls. I'm still sore about it.
osito de miel on March 31, 2010 at 8:44 AM Report this
24
Seriously... they should ask about how your annoying parrot affects your sex life. Now she normally is caged and is always a complete darling... but... if you want to get active in the living room, she's likely to think it a delightful game and do a little sing and dance... and it's funny but *loud*.
Faer on March 31, 2010 at 8:50 AM Report this
25
@20 LOL!

My cat gets the fuck out as soon as we get frisky. Too much movement and hogging the bed, why would she try to get in there?
kersy on March 31, 2010 at 11:54 AM Report this
26
If you've ever had a dog stick his cold, wet nose in your ass while you're having sex, you'll never forget to close the door again.
Greg on March 31, 2010 at 11:04 PM Report this

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