Nunya.

Works for Berlusconi (underage mistress, no comment; serviced by twenty whores at once in exchange for government business, no comment; submitting a slate of strippers for election to the European Parliament; no comment).

Uh...I disagree. If someone accuses you of poopstachin', the correct answer is "are you fucking serious??? Jesus Christ, no!"

A "none of your business" response will be interpreted as "yes, he Dirty Sanchezed me like a cheap prison snitch."

ahhh yes, the "Vatican Defense..."
very effective indeed.

shouldn't "celebrities" just be ignored totally -

It's our fault for giving a shit about celebrities' personal lives.

#3 is right, just about everyone will assume it's true if you say nunya biz, especially if the rumor is the sort of thing you'd want to deny loudly (like a scat, Nazi roleplaying sextape). There's no way Sandra could issue a nunya statement on that rumor, be serious.

@2

it has worked for that bastard!

what about your advisor who has tied to the camorra?

no comment!

only in italy.

marry me schmacky

Celebrity news in general is a waste of everyone's time.

couldnt agree more, these celebs are cool yet not that cool.

Drew