Comments

1
To address a less coherent point:
"Do not be afraid....for you there is nothing after life just blackness."
So there is nothing but there is also this blackness stuff? Interesting, indeed. And why would someone be afraid of this nothing/blackness stuff in the first place? Does it wield a knife?
Silly gawd squad.
2
you heard it straight from God, point 4: God is totally cool with same-sex attraction!
3
The Red Cross was founded by a Unitarian Universalist - so technicallly we cannot assume they had a belief in God, or in any form of God assumed by the God who wrote to you. Also, unlike God, the Red Cross does not give a furry squirrel's nut about whether or not you believe in God -- they will help you out anyway - that is just how the roll.
4
I liked your original column, Paul, and this one was a good try but you can't accomplish anything by arguing with nutjobs.

Sheesh. The stupid-ass shit that butthurt believers will do. I swear.

"HOW DARE THIS FAG NOT BELIEVE LIKE ME I MUST STAND IN FOR GOD AND SHOW HIM THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS NO TIME FOR PROOFREADING GOD HAS BEEN BELITTLED THIS SHALL NOT STAND I MUST PROTECT MY OMNIPOTENT DEITY FROM INSULT AND INJURY"
5
God, is a sarcastic prick?!
6
I think we should all commend God for engaging in civil dialog.
7
If God does exist (which I find highly unlikely), (s)he/it is gonna be really pissed that this jerk is not only taking their name in vain, but falsely impersonating them as well.
8
I call foul. I don't think that this was God writing to you at all! I have no proof of this except for my own personal belief--I'm a deist.
9
babyjesus@heavendotcom is gonna be so embarrassed and pissed when he finds out his dad is all liquored up and firing off e-mails again.
10
Paul,
Clearly, you can go to heck!
:)
11
"THE BIG ONE"? Really? I'm pretty sure a message would probably be best sent via something that doesn't happen all that often in a particular place.
12
this is like when Sarah Palin signed her baby annoucements from God!!!!
13
Also, I would gladly give Bobby a jug of water. Blanket? Not so much. I would give him a Snuggie to segregate his hands from his dirty sinful genitals.
14
Isn't the author of this email taking the name of the Lord in vain? (Unless it really is God...)
15
You know, I've always been partial to the "Oblivion instead of an afterlife is really depressing, therefore God exists" line of argument. It's so... simple-mindedly honest.
16
re: point #4,
vimeo.com/1453907
17
God, is a sarcastic prick?!

I thought the bible already proved this?
18
What a petty, stupid God this prick believes in.
19
OH boy I hate how Catholic apologists always bring up Mother Theresa and all the charity work that some Catholics do.

Big flippin deal.

The Catholic Church has done way more harm than good over the centuries and still does more harm today.

Plus they waste so much money. Next time they ask you for money for charity remind them of how much gold the Catholic Church has at the Vatican or any of the numerous churches in Europe.

I will never give a cent to these assholes.

The sooner Catholicism dies the better.
20
@4: Don't worry, I'm not going to make a habit out of feeding the trolls. I thought this one was noteworthy for its weird format.
21
I'll share both my blanket and jug of water with you, Paul. I'll share the important stuff, too, that being my whisky and my chocolate.
22
If the weather we've been having lately is any sign, yes, God is a sarcastic prick.

Fucking hail, sun, freezing rain, sun? That's dickish.
23
Dear Gawd,

That wasn't the Big One you felt last night, it was just me stone-cold booty slammin' the Drunk of the Week, as fine a hunk of man as you've ever created.

Keep up the great work!
24
@20

I do like how he has God say that you're a pedophile or a zoophile but that he doesn't know which. I mean, God only knows what weird things you like to fuck, ri- oh. Uh.
25
I know a few of good priests. Any generalization, such as god's or paul's, shouldn't be taken seriously. Lame.
26
Even God laid off His copyediting staff.
27
Shouldn't God already know whether you like boys or girls? I thought he knew everything.
28
*High five* Paul
29
Hey there Catholic apologists, Mother Theresa may not be the one to hang your hat on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzFEesUUX…

is nothing sacred?
30
The American Red Cross's second (of seven) fundamental principle:
Impartiality: It makes no discrimination as to nationality, race, religious beliefs, class or political opinions. It endeavors to relieve the suffering of individuals, being guided solely by their needs, and to give priority to the most urgent cases of distress.
31
God has outsourced the running of the world to Bangalore and they're busy with people who have malfunctioning Microsoft products, so they outsourced it to the guy who wrote Constant.
32
I just want to point out that whoever wrote this, ostensibly an offended Catholic, has by virtue of composing and sending this email committed a blatant act of blasphemy.
33
The more humans ascribe petty attitudes to a God, the more fucked up that God begins to appear. The God of the Catholic Church, as I'm sure you'll all agree, if so fucked up He's clearly insane.

34
God's assumption that adult men generally find 15 year olds sexually attractive is kind of grossing me out.
35
Why do liberals hate god so much?
36
oh hey, nearly forgot:

FAKE.
37
I'm serious, you know.

Paul, can you email God back and ask him one simple question? Do I put my tomatoes outside now or not? Yes or no?

If God can't give us a straight answer on something so basic then he needs to quit wasting our time.
38
The red cross is secular.
39
Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.
Thomas Paine

I'm glad I don't believe in any god at all. And, btw, I have some food and water I'll share with you if we have a big earthquake, Paul.
40
Do you think Jesus gets shitty e-mails forwarded from his Dad? "Hey Jesus - check out this one Peter sent. Obama in a Joker mast - LOL! P.S. Send to 12 people by the end of the day or, uh, boils and shit. You get the idea."
41
#35 It's impossible to hate something that does not exist. The ire is toward the dolts who scream and insist everyone else believe in their delusions (gawd).
42
@30, Holy fuck. Does Glenn Beck know about this?
43
God doesn't make typos. And she wouldn't send e-mail.
44
Considering his writing style, I'm kinda surprised God's email isn't from AOL.
45
Paul, you might need a Silas to run interference for you if this situation escalates. Just sayin. ;)
46
Paul, you might need a Silas to run interference for you if this situation escalates. Just sayin. ;)
47
Do not be afraid....for you there is nothing after life just blackness. Wow what a depressing though for you.

As an atheist, I take comfort that there will be nothing after death. You die, and that's that. You're dead, period. The end. So, for me, there's no worrying about escaping purgatory, losing your angel wings, coming back as cockroach, or whatever else people spend their lifetime trying to avoid when death comes a-knockin'. I don't find that prospect depressing at all.
48
Do not be afraid....for you there is nothing after life just blackness. Wow what a depressing though for you.

As an atheist, I take comfort that there will be nothing after death. You die, and that's that. You're dead, period. The end. So, for me, there's no worrying about escaping purgatory, losing your angel wings, coming back as cockroach, or whatever else people spend their lifetime trying to avoid when death comes a-knockin'. I don't find that prospect depressing at all.
49
#3, 30, & 38 are correct:
The Red Cross is secular. In fact, the cross represents the cross taken from the Swiss Flag; it's an international symbol of neutrality, not Christianity.
50
@43

Holy shit, you're using the female pronoun to refer to God? Way to BLOW MY FUCKING MIND.
51
@47

I agree. there's nothing depressing about not existing. its just something that happens. the concept of eternity with everyone else really bums me the fuck out. I don't really care for people enough to take comfort in that kind of concept. and as for being with your loved ones who passed on already, I have this to say: imagine being 14 and talking to your grandma on the phone and you can't find a way to escape the conversation because Kids In The Hall is on. now imagine that happening FOREVER.
52
@19 You make a good point but you need to bring Godwin's law up into this discussion.

Remember that Hitler built hospitals and paved roads. Also don't forget that many serial murderer's have a productive members of society outside of their murdering. We need to really put the good in perspective that these groups or people do along with the harm.

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