SL Letter of the Day: CL Wanker


Craigslist? Oh honey, the rule on CL is 15 bullshitters for one honest response. In fact, you're lucky if he doesn't want to wank off with you AND have someone watch.

And who CARES if the dude is "gay" or not? Not even to the point. The point is that your little brain is so anxious to get into the girl that you've disegaged the big brain.
Goo god this guy is impossibly stupid. I once lived with a moron who was approaced on the street by a a "producer" who was looking for someone to act in a porno. The girl who would act in said porno wasn't around, but perhaps they could go back to morons house so the producer could show him how it would go down. They spent the next 45 minutes simulating the sexual positions without taking their clothes off. Moron was surprised when the producer never called him bsck.
I really can't tell from the pics if they are all the same person and why would he have a body shot of her with her face cut off just lying around?

This is a standard strategy for sharing pics with people you meet on hookup sites (at least if you don't want nude pics that can be readily identified as you on the internet). By itself, it doesn't mean anything.

If you aren't 100% convinced this guy is gay, offer to meet them BOTH for a drink at a public location first. If he says no, he's full of shit.
Also, stop posting ads to Casual Encounters m4w, unless you're some sort of futility addict.
Yep, that about sums it up.
I'm full of typos today. My sincerest apologies.
Rotten @2, that story made my day.
Craigslist is for losers. Sorry but had to be said.
I have this hot girl who wants to fuck your lights out but you have to let me suck your dick first. Duh! Some people believe anything because they want to.
@ 2, what Fnarf said.
I've posted on W4M CE before and gotten 10 responses in the first five minutes. All seemed pretty sincere but I don't know how many are psychos. The world is not fair and neither is CL. Be careful out there.
I feel like it's clear that this guy is a CL-baiter of some sort, and if the pics don't seem legit that's your cue to abandon it. Not to mention the situation sounds too good to be true, and guys who really are comfortable enough to engage in MMF scenarios generally aren't so fixated on the guy & his details. Nor do they audition via j/o meet & greet. If hear from someone who seems legit, meet in public first (with the GIRL present, of course, if it's another dream-come-true MMF offer). Sure it's not as NSA that way, but the world is full of manipulative nuts and you just can't fuck anyone with an email account and access to CL, you have to do some due diligence first if you don't want to get burned.
@2 - LMFAO
@2: oh my god, seriously? Visualizing this just cracks me up: "then, while you're behind her, she bends over and grabs her ankles... here, you be her, perfect, I'll show you what you do..."
There's a whole web site (NSFW) dedicated to this sort of scenario:
"The woman doesn't exist"


Whenever anyone promises u Pu$$y that isn't readily available for inspection it doesn't exist. Ever.

I had a similar thing happen to a bi-curious friend of mine. We were at Lobby bar when a certain "former" Mr. Gay Seattle and hi BF began flirting with my friend. When they found out that he liked women they promised my Bi-C friend that they had a girl they wanted to hook him up with later that night. They had their act down pat. They showed him pictures of her on their (I) phone and showed him alleged text messages from her showing her interest in Fckng him.

Long story short, the girl was a no-show and they ended up getting him drunk, taking him home with them, having a three-way with him (un-safe secks I might add).

Just like the guy who responded to this guys CL post, this former Mr GS is a manipulative liar who exposed my friend to god knows what diseases, and is a permanent fixture on all the online hook-up sites. These types of people are bad news and should never be trusted and should be avoided at all costs…
I can't fathom why a woman looking for casual sex would need to use Craigslist. Seriously how hard is it to find a male wiling to have NSA sex with a woman regardless of looks etc. There is a reason the world's oldest profession still does a brisk business.

BTW - If you are just talking about having sex - do 100% 'straight' women even exist anymore?
@ 17: I'm a 34-yr-old straight female who's made out with another female twice in my life. Definitely 100% straight.
@17, Maxim Magazine says all women are bisexual, and by bisexual I mean that they love MFF threesomes and making out with girls at the club while a group of guys hoots.
Go hire a sex worker! There are lots of good ones out there, they rule!
@19 Maxim Magazine should NEVER be quoted. Trashiest magazine ever. It ranks right up there with Glamour and Cosmo, and we all know how bad their sex advice is.

@17 It's not so much that it's hard to find NSA sex, it's that the right person for it isn't always available/in your life, and sometimes there are things that people are looking for that aren't necessarily immediately available either.
I apologize for the thread drift

Looking back at one of my favourite Savage Love columns I remember Dan posted a bunch on letters on the theme "Is my husband gay" - and in all but one case he said no. His theory was if the man was still desperate to have sex with you - he was heterosexual.

But would the same be true of a woman? How many letters does he get from men with 'frigid' wives? You see all these women 'coming out' really late in life - did they always know and they were just going through the hetero motions or is it more complicated than that?

Case in point - how can you be 100% straight and make out with a woman twice? As a man that would never happen to me - not because I'm a homophobe - far from it - I just can't fathom why I would want to do it?
In defense of Craigslist, my girlfriend and I met after I posted a CL ad, though not in the Casual Encounters section. We've been dating or over three years, and will be moving in together in June.

Just saying, CL can work. Of course, I went through a couple dozen crazy women before meeting my honey, but those just made for entertaining stories for my friends.
@17, 19

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a 100% straight chick and wouldn't touch another lady with a 10 foot pole, no matter how many beers a straight dude put into me. Let the girls-gone-wild dream go, straight boys. You'll find that insecure straight chicks (or shitfaced drunk ones) will feign being into other chicks in order to get you to hook up with them, but most of us are just NOT into it. Just like you're not into other dudes. Let the dream go.

And BTW - bullshit Maxim magazine's primary audience is straight men, many of whom fantasize about girl-on-girl lesbo action. *Of course* they're gonna claim this shit to keep their readership happy. Wake up, foolz.
Hey Nervous Boy - When the Nigerians email you, be sure to give them all of your personal information.

Really. Now I know who is dumb enough to fall for those e-mail scams.
@24, Thanks for crushing my world view. Who knew that all this time Maxim was publishing poorly written articles on how to have sex with insecure women in order to get men with low intelligence to buy their product? *horf*

Hehe, and woe be the day that Cosmo runs articles on how to coerce a boyfriend into smoking a pole for a woman's gratification.

I pray every day that Cosmo will one day fulfill that very fantasy..

Sadly, I know it ain't ever happenin' though. But here's to both of our same-sex fantasies of the opposite sex one day being realized! ;-)
Hey, I'm a straight female and pretty damn straight. I would never go down under, ever. I don't mind a little making out or groping though. What girl doesn't at least slap her friends ass or grab her boob, especially while drinking? It's not sexual, just intimate. I guess I'm just an affectionate person though.
I'm bisexual and I've made out with drunk girls more times than I can count! (because I don't remember all of them).

Seriously though, when I had my first few experiences with ladies, I tolerated the fact that they were entertaining their bfs because I wanted to get it on with them. Then I figured out I could be straight forward and meet ladies other ways.

So add that take to the running theory.
Savage, this one makes your job look soooo easy.
I'm sure there are guys who meet and fuck women through Craigslist M4W Casual Encounters but the percentage of those guys out of all guys who are trying to meet women to fuck is undoubtedly very small. The percentage for women, of course, would be much higher because it's very easy for women to meet men who want casual sex.

Out of curiosity, I tried CE about two years ago after a relationship ended. I answered women's ads instead of placing my own. Out of about fifteen ads I responded to I ended up meeting three women. Unfortunately all were very overweight so I wasn't interested in getting naked with them.
30 FTW!

@ 16 - Those are some evil, evil gays...

After thinking about it, I have no advice for the straight boy, except to say, yes, there is lots and lots and lots of deception on CL.
Is it totally out of the realm to think that maybe the guy wrote this letter as a way of asking Dan permission to wank off with a another dude but still keep his straight status? Yeah the dude who responded is definitely a creep and Nervous should cease communication now but maybe creepy opened up this fellow's mind to some new ideas and fantasies he's never had before.
The interest on the part of the author begs a question: Dost thou protest too much?
@ 19: isn't that the usual definition of a bisexual female?
Why on earth would any _straight_ man try to get laid on Craiglist Casual Encounters? If you're gay, yeah, that works. But M4W ads are read by no one but gay men, and W4M ads receive so many responses you might as well wait to win the lottery.

Your best bet as a straight man is try to find an interested woman in real life, which - instead of being completely, utterly impossible - is just extremely, extraordinarily unlikely. Or you could just realize the futility of trying and go back to Internet porn, like the rest of us.
All women are bi-sexual and only men can be purely gay or straight. I missed that memo.

Sexual preferences aren't an either or sort of thing. No one is 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual and very few people are 50/50. Most of us end up probably somewhere in the 80% to 90% ranges of whichever preference we have. This doesn't mean guys who like to wank off together are homosexual or women who kiss and fondle each other for the titillation of boys are homosexual either.

No matter how or where you look for NSA sex, SA sex, or just general companionship, you always have to be careful. There are bottom feeders in every pond. Listen to your own instincts.
Beware of sweeping generalities.
I assure you that I am 100% gay. I'm a perfect 6 on the Kinsey scale. I accept that I am rare, but I do exist. :-)
Jaysus, I can't believe NB has made it this far in life.
Jaysus, I can't believe NB has made it this far in life.
Ah, I double posted. Damn it -
36, straight guys use Craigslist CE because, ostensibly, there are women there who want to have sex and don't require a relationship. Problem is, most of the W4M ads and responses to M4W ads are likely not from real women. They're escorts or porn sites. That's not to say there aren't any real women. As I noted in my previous post, I met three women through CE a couple years ago. Problem was, they were very overweight and my guess would be that the majority of real women on CE are like that. Let's face it, a woman who's in decent shape and reasonably attractive does not have to turn to personal ads in order to find a man for sex.

I'd bet some women read M4W ads but probably very few, if any, ever respond. It would make more sense for a woman who's looking for casual sex to place her own ad and then pick and choose from among the (likely) 100 or more responses that would come flooding in.

Your best bet as a straight man is try to find an interested woman in real life, which - instead of being completely, utterly impossible - is just extremely, extraordinarily unlikely.

Good one! It's not extremely unlikely, of course, to find a woman interested in sex as long as it's within a relationship, or she feels some kind of strong emotional connection (although I personally feel that sex simply is not as important to women, in general, as it is to men.) But it is extremely unlikely to find a woman interested in casual sex. The sexual marketplace is just like any other marketplace, with the interplay of supply and demand determining who has the power. The demand for casual sex by men far exceeds the supply of it by women so that puts women in the power position. It's always a seller's market for women and sex. It's why escorts can charge men $200/hour or more and a man who tried to charge women anything for sex wouldn't have any takers.
37: Sexual preferences aren't an either or sort of thing. No one is 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual and very few people are 50/50. Most of us end up probably somewhere in the 80% to 90% ranges of whichever preference we have.

I would agree with you sexual preferences can be gray, and that very few people are 50/50, but I disagree that sexual preferences are never black and white. I would bet that plenty of people are 100% straight or 100% gay.

I've read that female sexuality tends to be more fluid whereas male sexuality tends to be more fixed so that there are more women than men who are bi to some degree. It would be interesting to know if that's true.
I met a cool FWB via a CL CE ad. I'm a good-looking, slim woman. I didn't want a boyfriend, just a fun person to scratch that itch once in awhile. I had to sort through quite a few ads and email exchanges before I found him, though.
A good rule of thumb for women looking at CL ads is to ignore anyone who posts pics of their junk. Guys, a random image of your cock will not interest me (or most women, I'd think) sufficiently to make me go out to a bar and meet you. In fact, it will turn me right off. Not only am I not sure the wang in the picture is really yours, but with very few exceptions, the exact dimensions and appearance of your wang are not going to make a whole lot of difference. Arousal starts in the brain. If you have one, and you want to get laid via CL, write something that shows you are an interesting and intelligent guy. Otherwise, I'll stay home with a bottle of cheap wine and my dildo.
@42 - In theory, you are right. An attractive woman doesn't have to turn to personal ads to find a man for sex. But, hanging out in bars where a whole bunch of NOT interesting guys are going to hit on me, possibly crowding the field of view so much that the one I'd really like to screw can't get close enough, can be counter-productive. And a drag. I don't like hanging out in bars. Browsing personal ads is a way to preselect a few candidates without dealing with drunk asses trying to cop a feel. Just because I might want some casual sex, doesn't mean I'm not choosy.
On a roll today... @43 - Speaking only for myself, I find that the nature of my attraction to women differs from my attraction to men. Girls are a comfort, and a soft armload of fun - even the ones who are really hard and athletic. Kissing, or doing anything else, with another girl is sweet, even when it's dirty :) I'm not even sure I'd really call myself bi, although that could definitely be argued. I've dated women. I've even been in love with a woman. I always notice the beautiful ones. But, 95% of my relationships and sex happen with men. Pretty much any woman could kiss me and get away with it, assuming she wasn't foul in some way. And the percentage of men who could kiss me uninvited is very small. A very, very hot guy that I knew pretty well kissed me once without preamble, and I was still a little bit offended that he took the liberty.
As a woman, other women are inherently non-threatening to me, no matter how aggressive they are, and men are inherently threatening, no matter how gentle or well-mannered. So, I'm more receptive to advances from a woman, even if I'm not looking for a woman to sleep with. Does that answer your question?
@21: See: sarcasm.

@42: The issue I've got there is calling it all "sex." If a woman was looking for a man for "sex" -- as in straight-up cock to pussy, oral, man-giving-to-woman anal -- sure, easy street. But I think it's simplifying the issue women do have with finding men who want to be pegged, want to be in a MMF threesome, etc. I still agree that the supply of men into that as opposed to women is lopsided, but it doesn't mean we're all drowning in cock. Or maybe I haven't tried hard enough?

And see @45 for another way of looking at it. Do I want to interview 10 guys in a bar or quickly sift through emails in my inbox at whatever pace I want?