Blogs Apr 22, 2010 at 10:06 am


What's the world coming to if you can't wank at work?
Is it really impossible to deal with something like this without involving the police? A simple 'don't wank on company time' would have sufficed, I imagine.
Yes, he LOCKED the door. Plus, I'm sorry but what does semen smell like?
Semen smells like honeysuckle with a hint of bleach, #3
Maybe, to keep this out of the workplace, we need a national WANK to Work Day.

@3, according to Alexander Portnoy, like "a sticky mixture of buttermilk and Chlorox."
it smells like an ornamental pear tree.
Wow. I can't think of a job or school I haven't masturbated at. You just get that urge and jobs are boring as shit after all.
Jail Shmail! Dat yoouth pastah gwin ta hell!

Genesis 38:8-10:
...he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring... What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death.
Are you guys SERIOUS??? It is beyond inappropriate for a teacher to be jerking off in his classroom/office. Do you know how many times I can remember being in middle school or high school and bursting in on a teacher in his/her classroom/office because I was a self-centered little twerp who needed to discuss the test/paper/homework with them RIGHT NOW? I could have easily caught someone by surprise while he was masturbating. The question is, what was this guy so turned on by at this school surrounded by 13-year-olds that he couldn't control his urges to rub one off until he got home? If it was a medical emergency and he absolutely HAD to bust a nut, couldn't he have gone into a private stall in the teacher's bathroom? Sorry - I disagree with all y'all. He should TOTALLY have been arrested.
I think that masturbation at work should be encouraged! Productivity goes way up!. To address the issue that #9 mentions, there could be a special room set aside, right next to the room where nursing mothers express their milk. Problem solved!
@3 - it smells kind of like brie.
@11--ewwww, fungal infection much? Either you or the person's semen you sniff needs to see a doctor. Go. Right. Now.
@9, did you actually watch the video? He LOCKED THE DOOR! If a self-centered little twerp wanted into his class he would have had to use a battering ram.

Oh and your insinuation that there had to be something in 13 year old kids that made him hot is disgusting. Men get boners all the time. They get boners at grandma's house, walking the dog and in between classes.

You're making the same sorts of assumptions that the pedophilia hysteria types make all the time. You don't make a single child safer by declaring everyone a pedophile. Quite the contrary.

I feel for the poor guy. Here's hoping he can avoid being put on the sex offenders registry for the Great Crime of fucking masturbating, because if masturbating at work in private becomes a crime, we're going to have to fence off half the land mass of the country to make room for the jails.
3 Magnolia blossoms
@11 - actually all the brie I've ever smelled smells like all the semen I've ever smelled.
sorry, I meant @12. I was @11.
As a chronic 'bater, rubbing one out at work has never crossed my mind. Some of the comments in this thread are making me think I'm missing out on something.
@9 - "what was this guy so turned on by at this school surrounded by 13-year-olds that he couldn't control his urges to rub one off until he got home?"

Fergie Olver say - you have much to learn, Grasshopper.
@13 - Yes, I did watch the video. Thanks for asking. All it says, as I am aware, is that that Dupuis SAYS he locked the door. What does that prove? I am aware that men get boners all the time, but part of being a "man" (as opposed to an infant or a dog) is learning to control one's urges. If you get a boner while eating dinner at grandma's house, do you rub one out while sitting at the table? If you get a boner while walking the dog, do you rub one out while walking down a crowded city street? No (or, at least, I should hope not). You wait until you are somewhere more appropriate. A middle school classroom is NOT APPROPRIATE. I am a woman who has been known to get horny from time to time for no explicable reason, but I have never just dropped my pants and begun fingering myself just because the urge overtook me, unless I am in the privacy of my own home. I have seen men get boners at inconvenient times, and, you know what? If you do nothing about it, it eventually goes away. Again, it's called SELF CONTROL. Still think he should have been arrested.

Also, I agree with Dan that a tissue-sniffing janitor is highly suspect.
Well, it tastes like Brie.
@19--I think the analog here is not so much jerking off at grandma's dinner table, but excusing yourself to grandma's sewing room. Which is still ill-advised, I grant you, but not exactly the same. He was in a private space that, at the time, no one was able to enter. It was in a public building, yes, but presuming that the panties are unrelated to the issue, I can't figure out who exactly was or could have been harmed by this behavior. The worst I can think of to say about this is that it's maybe rude, or strange, or represents some weakness of character or something, but I can't figure out what the actual crime is, here.
oh dear.
this is a grand rapids, MI news channel
grand rapids suburbs are insanely, book-burningly conservative

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