This really complements this week's Suicide Issue of the Stranger. Maybe it's more properly thought of as the Bitter Demise Issue.

Man life hurts at times. I'm so sorry, so very sorry.

wow, yeah that was a depressing read. considering adoption?

Does that include wishing a Happy Mother's day to the bitch that stood by while her second husband beat the shit out of me, sending me to school with bruses on my face, arms and chest. And we won't even go into the sexual abuse. Yeah that "he found pimples on my butt hole when I was in second grade that needed to be picked at".

Yeah, don't think I'm going to be calling this weekend.

It's taken for granted in our culture that you can hate your Father and you can still be an okay person. The Dad can be a bad person and people are justified in hating him.
If you have a bad Mother, somehow you are the bad person. I'd been told for years that I should forgive the years of abuse and emotional trauma just because 'She's your Mother'. No, your mother is the person who cares for you and sacrifices for you and lets you have a childhood. I never had a mother.
I'm sorry for your loss, I Anonomous, but not all Moms deserve that phone call.

@ enigma, of course that is all true what you said, but seems like a separate thread might be a more appropriate place to say it, seeing how your story and anon's have nothing to do with one another.

condolences, anon.

Mother's Day is also unpleasant when you had to disown a violently abusive mother.

Mother's Day is a bullshit Hallmark holiday. Oh, and for the I, Anonymous woman--no one thinks about the "father" of these non-children on Father's Day either.

Wow, so heartbreaking. FWIW, my guess is "the one who made the dead un-babies with you" doesn't want to make it even more painful by highlighting Mother's Day. He loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. Tell him how you feel.

my relationship with my own mother is as messed up as anyone's, but i fail to understand why so many people are taking it out on anon ...

david maybe you need do another post about mother's day in order to open up another thread where this could all get aired out without anon having to bear the brunt of it.

Anon, that hurts. I'm so sorry.

My deepest sympathies to everyone who finds Mother's Day an endurance test. I posted on Questionland yesterday about it if anyone wants to rant there, although I think a thread here would be ideal.

Enigma @5, THANK YOU.

@10 Good point.
@4,5,8: You're right, being a "Mother" isn't a default condition, it's earned, and yours didn't.

holy jesus motherfuck that is one hell of a slog post right there, ya got me speechless.

it's a testament to this blog that this post will never ascend the most commented list, taking over such important posts like dan savage tells another guy he's caught the gay along its way, because it really should.

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing that Anon.

So very sorry for your losses, Anonymous. As a mother, my heart goes out to you. Being a mother means a very sensitive piece of your heart is open for grief and loss---by any measure you are a mom too.

Here's Irena's Questionland thread -- a better place to gripe about our Mother's Day troubles.

http://tinyurl.com/3x9l3vd

Happy Mother's Day, Anon. I'm sorry for your losses, and regardless of what society may tell you, you are still a mom. Take some time out for yourself and realize that even though your "non children" didn't make it, you gave them the short life they wouldn't have had without you.
I'll be thinking of you on Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day Anon. On Sunday, I will think of you and honor your motherhood. Your babies were lucky that you held them in your womb. I believe that they felt your love.