Reason #4853 That I Am Glad I Am Not a Teenager

Comments

1
That's a good way to go blind.
2
I think I'll just stick to lighting my farts on fire.
3
Gosh-awful-damn-stupid! don't these people have any respect for their bodies?
4
Chlorine hurts enough already. I guess I must have overly sensitive eyes.
5
Wait, this is new? The antagonist in Kevin & Perry was called Eye Ball Paul for this reason, and that film's about ten years old at this stage.
6
I wonder what'll happen if I dump heroin on my eyeball?
7
Everyone should do this. Feels good.
8
When I was in high school, it was quite common to show how macho you were by snorting vodka (aka doing a "chilly willy"). Burned like hell and made the side of your face go numb for 10 minutes.

Ah, the stupidity of youth...
9
Heh. Dumb kids. They should stick to putting hits of windowpane in their eyes like we did back in the good ol' days.
10
Put cake in your eye. It tastes great! And you'll see rainbows and unicorns!
11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_83MEuLoz…

Never put salt in your eyes.
12
Gives new meaning to the phrase: Blind Drunk.
13
This is so stupid. VODKA IS DELICIOUS!
14
I really feel like drinking is a two-part process: enjoy the beverage, AND enjoy the drunk. If you're missing one of those, you're kinda doing it wrong.

Also, a friend of mine snorted a half-shot of vodka this weekend, so it's not just eyeballs.
15
Meanwhile teenagers are sailing around the world solo.

Vodka is just rotted potatoes.
16
I have an acquaintance who did this. She wishes she didn't.
17
And here I am drinking my vodka like a sucker.
18
I'm going to save this article and pull it out anytime I mistakenly develop hope for the future of humanity.

@14 For some of us alcohol tastes nasty and the sooner we can get it over with, the better. (Shots with the birthday boy/girl are both the problem and the solution.)
19
I don't see how teh surface area around your eyeball is large enough to absorb a substantial amount of alcohol in a reasonable amount of time. To get to 0.08 BAC, a 140 pound woman would need to absorb about 32ml of pure ethanol (the amount in about 2 shots of 100proof) in a reasonably quick amount of time. This doesn't account for metabolism either so it's an underestimate
20
Cost-benefit analysis: you get drunk slightly faster but might go blind and OH DEAR GOD THE BURNING. Somehow it just doesn't seem to stack up in favor of pouring vodka in your eyeballs. I don't even *drink* vodka straight, I have to mix it with stuff.
21
@ 18,

Hey, there's a reason mixed drinks were invented. To cover the taste of nasty vodka with orange and cranberry juice and a little umbrella.
22
If you wanna get drunk really fast, just put it up your butt...not your eye.
23
"Blindness...not just from moonshine anymore!"
24
I on more than one occasion have put a tab of acid in each eyeball.The hallucinations kick in almost immediately.Good times, when you're seventeen anyway.
25
The only times I put vodka in my eyes is to rinse jism out.
26
This sounds an awful lot like the endorphin rush that comes with overwhelming pain, possibly with a bit of the placebo effect as well. As #19 points out, however, the idea that this could actually get you drunk is complete nonsense.
27
Stupid, stupid kids.