BREAKING: Gay Men Skinnier, Lesbians Heavier

Comments

1
in other news the sky is blue and lava is hot.
2
I don't think it is so much the pressure that the men put on their partners. A lot of the pressure for straight women to be thin is put on themselves by themselves and their friends. Sure the men prefer the thin ones but there is more than enough pressure coming from other females.

On the other hand straight men are for the most part oblivious about how female attraction works. They believe that women are as visual as them so they are inclined to work out and stay thin. Their thin and athletic body makes them more confident which is what the women are really attracted to. The guys just don't understand the root of their attractiveness from bring thin is from their own impression of themselves, not the eye candy for women.

Gay men on the other hand believe that other gay men will be attracted to a good looking body, which is true. Lesbians on the other hand seem to be the only ones that realize that you can attract a woman without being thin. Straight guys seem to miss this point and gay guys don't care.
3
Do I get to blame men's greater wealth on women being moneygrubbing materialists?
4
How does the bear population factor into all of this? What percent of gay men identify as bears?
5
"Not an alcoholic."

Oh, good. Um. I guess that's always worth mentioning.
6
Breaking News!!! Men attracted to physical appearance - Women less so!!!
7
Very true, as a man I find a lousy sense of humor, stupidity, uncreativity and substance abuse issues to be highly appealing.
8
Eh @2 that's not what the numbers mentioned showed, otherwise gay men would not be less likely than straight men to be obese. There's nothing there that says that the 21% and 26% of straight guys and lesbians respectably is significantly different... grant you I'm going by the quote, not whatever paper this research is coming from.
9
Men will say they are looking for a partner who is not above 35 years old and not above 135 pounds

I forgot we were also talking about women here and thought "jesus, gay body facism is really getting out of hand if I'm 40 pounds over weight" -- then I read the quote from the beginning.
10
Neither amazing nor true.
11
@1

Exactly. How is this news? I love all these "scientific" studies that universities put millions into in order to point out the obvious. Fucking stupid.
12
@1, if you'd bothered to read the linked article, it describes a whole bunch of things other than fat/skinny stuff that you might be interested to learn. Though I'm guessing you maxed out your learning long ago and intend to rely on what you think is "common sense" from here on.
13
@7

Whatever. You dudes want appearance, above all, and you're willing to be flexible on the rest. Men are shallow. Everyone (including the "scientists") have noticed.
14
@11: Also, don't bash universities. They just carry out scientific method (which is what you should be harping on instead) and turn to peer review — not common-sense gut responses — to confirm findings.
15
"Women don't typically do that. They say they are looking for someone with good sense of humor, intelligence, and creativity. .."

Well, they can say that, but that doesn't mean it correlates with what they actually go for. Ask any short straight man about alleged non-superficiality on the part of women
16
Life's questions:

How come women see good looking gay guys and think, 'that's a shame' yet you never meet lesbians and think 'thats a shame'?
17
Rothblum's conclusions here look an awful lot like a lazy re-hash of the last thirty years of transmitted wisdom on gender issues: Men are obsessed with appearance and this obsession leads to body-image problems in the women who would date them; interesting that this seems to be the implication here even though the standard of "less likely to be obese" would seem to objectively be a good thing. Rothblum is conspicuously not concluding, for instance, that men's obsession with appearance in their mates results in lower risk of heart disease for those who date them.

As to the "Men are shallow and care about physical appearance and women only care about inner beauty and personality" angle, it's worth noting that women on dating sites pretty routinely screen for height. But since you can't diet yourself tall a study like this probably wouldn't reveal much about what effect that is having on those who wish to date women.
18
I always find it funny that men have no idea what are certain weight will look like on a girl. I'm 5'7" and weigh 145 lbs. When guys attempt to guess my weight, they always say between 120-135 lbs. They should really just look at a woman's body and determine if they are attracted to it, not base it on their actual weight. Of course, then they make insensitive comments in front of girls that they would not date a girl that was over a certain weight. Jesus, I realize women are huge part of our competitiveness, but men are almost just as bad.
19
... I find a lousy sense of humor, stupidity, uncreativity and substance abuse issues to be highly appealing...

As long as the ass is nice and the Co@k is big I can put with just about anything... (hic)
20
“Women don’t typically do that. They say they are looking for someone with good sense of humor, intelligence, and creativity, or someone who is not an alcoholic.”

Funny, I don't see "wealthy" in there. Or what's the code word? Oh yeah... Stable. That's it.
21
@18.

I just assume they want petite women if they're asking for under 135... the tall and leggy need not apply. lol. On the other hand all you have to do is go on craigslist and you'll see that this study (like all of 'em) doesn't apply to what individual people want. Not a whole lot of love on there for BBW... except usually from other BBWs.
22
Hey, Doorknob Danny, it's about time you posted about obese women. Will you post one about pitballs today?
23
@18: men underguess on purpose. guessing over means no pussy.

personally, i would not date a woman over the zaftig/obese line. call me shallow.
24
@18, you're dumb. they don't tell you that either. @23 gets it.
25
I'm so not into skinny guys. I dig the bears.
26
@12 Hey Gloomy, stuff it. I'm commenting on Dan's blog post, nothing more, nothing less. Just like everyone else on this thread.
27
@23: Hmm, yeah. What do men guesstimate to each other?

I remember one co-worker -- she's 40 and one day, a male acquaintance of hers guessed she was 26. She freaked out all day to anyone who would listen. I thought she'd be savvier than that, but I guess not.
28
14
of course they do....
29
@26 Rotten666, I'm sorry. I meant to type "@11" who picked on university researchers, no disrespect meant to you.
30
@15 If you ask any short man about women's superficiality he will probably say they are not interested in him because he is short. What they are actually more turned off by is his own issues with his self image of being short. It's a nasty cycle and is hard to break. Women do prefer taller all other things being equal but a short man has a better chance of getting an attractive women than an ugly or fat woman has of getting an attractive guy.
31
I think straight women are more flexible about physical appearance in their mates, because doing otherwise is bitchy and shallow. Beauty and the Beast! he doesn't HAVE to be pretty, and you shouldn't expect it.

just look at all the shitty Romcoms with fat, plain, or ugly leading men, but the woman is ALWAYS thin and lovely, unless the point of the movie is that she is not thin (Hairspray).
32
What to make of this finding?

"The researchers also found that both gay men and gay women were more likely to be current smokers compared to their heterosexual counterparts."

Something to do with increased frequency of oral sex and a concomitant need to desensitize the olfactory process?
33
Wait?!! Lesbians are fatter?! FTW?!!
34
Yeah not like I didn't already know... If the world were run by lesbians, there would be no eating disorders or body dysmorphia.
35
"If the world were run by lesbians, there would be no eating disorders or body dysmorphia."

Just a lot more fat chicks.
36
If the world were run by Asian chicks, women in Seattle would learn to dress better, eat better, remove unsightly body hair and not act like men.
37
@ 31 - Yeah, pretty much.
38
But how many are anorexic?

(I would love to be a fat lesbian.)
39
@35 I'd take a fat chick over an obsessive-compulsive, vomiting crazy woman that I can't take out to lunch.
40
And meanwhile it's a mystery to straight men why their girlfriends/wives are undersexed and miserable.
41
@35 And none of them would fuck you either.
42
@30...That's rich! It's not that I'm not into fat women, either, it's just that I'm not into their own issues with their fatness.
43
@15
Binary definitions of gender. Many women feel that they are dominating a man when they are taller than him. They are told that they are supposed to be smaller and protected by a larger male, so being bigger than their mate makes them feel uncomfortable. Of course people come in all shapes and sizes, but that doesn't stop society from creating unrealistic expectations of gender.
44
" I'd take a fat chick over an obsessive-compulsive, vomiting crazy woman that I can't take out to lunch."

If those are your only two choices you need some help.
45
"And none of them would fuck you either"

Why would I want to fuck fat chicks? Seriously, that's why I've only bedded Asian American babes for the past 15+ years, no risk of them getting fat.
46
@40: enlighten us.
47
@15 & 30:

My guys don't have to be tall, creative or smart...they just need to be pretty and hung. Honestly, is that too much to ask for? I'll support you, I'll give you head, I'll let you do that thing that is illegal in most states...just be pretty and hung.
48
@46

Um, hello - because their boyfriends are dirty, sloppy fat asses who dress like shit and behave like pigs. Their ladies don't want to fuck 'em. Straight dudes expect us straight chicks to be thin, sexy, look cute all the time in little outfits *for them*, while they're simultaneously given permission to exist as sloppy, lard asses. Gay dudes may be shallow lookists at the other end of spectrum, but at least they're fuckable.
49
@45 Because you are obviously lying about fucking Asians. Unless you need something tiny in which to fit your baby-dick.
50
@40 - undersexed? So you'd argue that the better-fed lesbians would be more highly sexed than the straight girls? Convinced, I am not.
51
@45

I love when totally awkward, ugly, white dudes use their whiteness (all they've got going on) to bed Asian chicks. They get rejected across the board by white girls and so head for the Asians who lap up the white, no matter how nasty they are. P.S. Just know that that's *exactly* what everybody's been thinking over the last 15 years when they've seen you with your "Asian American babe" - fucking pathetic.
52
I dated a guy who was kind of pudgy once. Ugh.
53
Seriously, though, is this because pussy juice is high in carbs?
54
@37: God bless SP.
55
eh.. the whole thing would be less funny if we knew the price tag on this study, I think.
56
This is awesome! One of the biggest mysteries in biology is why did sexual reproduction arise? Why not just keep budding off ourselves like yeast do? There are many explanations -- reduce the effect of mutations, genetic diversity, etc -- but this actually makes sense. Sexual reproduction keeps the species fit!
57
@ 55 - You know, I may come across as a complete idiot idiot for saying this, but...it's actually news to me. I didn't realize the differences were so vast. Seriously.

That's pretty much because, while I obviously know plenty of overweight lesbian women, I also know a lot of rail-thin artsy-type dykes (in the state where this study took place, mind you).

Of course, I also have a bit of a personal experience sampling bias going here. I'm pretty thin myself (well, technically a little underweight), and - at the risk of sounding horribly shallow - I've generally been more attracted to slimmer women. So, erm, it's entirely possible that I'll zero in on thinner lesbians. Which...sounds pretty awful when I put it like that. Hmm.
58
@57 You don't risk sounding shallower than a great number of the posts in this thread by saying that.

Besides, people who have no preferences based on appearances are either lying or highly unusual. There's a reason we have preferences based on appearances - appearance is indicative of health and qualities that make for a good mate.

I suppose some people would object to peahens favoring the peacocks with the flashiest tails. "It's so shallow!"
59
@ 58 - Oh, I'm not concerned about being attracted to slimmer types. There are lots of very pretty, bigger girls out there, but they're just generally not my type. It's more concern that I've focused so exclusively on the kind of woman I'm typically attracted to that I've failed to notice that bigger lesbians, apparently, far outnumber the skinny ones.

Of course, it's also possible that I've been exposed to a relatively small sample. (Shrugs)
60
"Just know that that's *exactly* what everybody's been thinking over the last 15 years when they've seen you with your "Asian American babe""

Really? I imagine they wonder what it's like to fuck women who don't get fat, have great skin, great hair, don't blow a gasket after having kids and don't look like old men like most Seattle womyn do by age 35. All that and independent and ambitious without being neurotic!
61
"They get rejected across the board by white girls and so head for the Asians who lap up the white, no matter how nasty they are."

LMAO, I'm talking Asian-American women here, not mail order brides from the Philippines ya maroon!

Rejected by white girls? Sorry, you live in Seattle, some of the ugliest white womyn in the world; half the womyn in this town look like guys in drag and dress worse than fishermen.
62
It's a shame, misogynist fuckwits are such catches. Too bad Asian women are stealing them away!
63
Liking beatiful women, and disliking ugly, fat chicks makes me a misogynist? Great!
64
I can't honestly picture with an Asian woman who isn't a mail order bride, baby-dick. For the record I am sure you are a liar. A good rule of thumb in the internets and life is when somebody crows too loudly and too often about something then typically the opposite is true. I believe you date and fuck hot Asian-Americans in the life you wish you lived. But that is all. Please hurry-up and shoot up a women's gym and then turn the gun on yourself.
65
I can't honestly picture you with an Asian woman who isn't a mail order bride, baby-dick. For the record I am sure you are a liar. A good rule of thumb in the internets and life is when somebody crows too loudly and too often about something then typically the opposite is true. It's called overcompensation. I believe you date and fuck hot Asian-Americans in the life you wish you lived. But that is all. Please hurry-up and shoot up a women's gym and then turn the gun on yourself.
66
@17 the increased risk for heart disease and other chronic weight related illnesses among the segment of the population that date women is in the part of the article that is not quoted. It's amazing the amount of information that can be obtained through reading the rest of the article.
67
Are the fat because they are lesbians......or lesbians because they are fat?

Face it, you never see a beautiful dyke but you always see handsome gay men.
68
@66: Yes, I read that in the article. However, I was speaking to the interpretation of this study with which we are presented, namely that those who date men are likely to weigh less than those who don't because "men are assholes" (as Dan Savage so succinctly put it.) This seems to be the gist of Rothblum's comments, too. My point is that while this may feel true based on the beliefs people are bringing to the table, that interpretation goes well beyond the facts presented here. Even though the article explicitly says that the weight difference (and higher rate of smoking) led to increased risk of heart disease in the population who don't date men, the "expert" quoted here only seems interested in the interpretation that reinforces what we already "know" to be true -- that the male gaze destroys everything it is turned upon, as best as I can parse it.

Ergo, lazy.
69
“People in sexual relationships with men—heterosexual women and gay men—get more pressure to look thin and to otherwise conform to attractiveness norms than do people in sexual relationships with women—lesbians and heterosexual men,” Rothblum said

To some exent that's true. As far as heterosexuals go, men probably do put more emphasis on looks but a man's looks are still very important to women. If a guy is great in most or many respects but a woman doesn't find him attractive, she's not going to want to get naked with him. Plus, the greater emphasis men put on looks has a female counterpart: the greater emphasis women put on wealth/success/status.

Other researchers have found further evidence of this male effect while studying personal ads and dating sites like Match.com, Rothblum explains. “Men will say they are looking for a partner who is not above 35 years old and not above 135 pounds,” she said. “Women don’t typically do that. They say they are looking for someone with good sense of humor, intelligence, and creativity, or someone who is not an alcoholic.”

Bullshit. Men may put more emphasis on weight but women have a huge thing with men's height. "Tall" is one of the most frequently-sought characteristics in a man by women. And, unlike weight, that's a characteristic that men can't change, no matter how much they want to. The above paragraph, with the implication that women just want a "good sense of humor, intelligence, and creativity" in a man, helps to perpetuate the ridiculous myth that looks don't matter to women.
70
@67

I'm deeply offended and all, but I'll tell you this: if you're even the tiniest bit bisexual and are below lesbian weight, men will snap you the hell up.
71
Dear Boston researchers: Sir Mix-A-Lot says your research is wack. Thought you should know.
72
most of my lesbian friends turned gay cuz no strait guys would have sex with them due to their weight. i think its more fat chicks that turn gay because thats their only option.