The Slightly Late, Day-After-the-Explosive-Holiday Morning News


Next zombie march I see, I'm dressing up as Crazy Dave from Plants vs. Zombies and throwing walnuts at the marchers.
Oooh! Enough with the Zombies! Talk about a get-off-my-lawn attitude. Or is this just more hipster backlash against the latest trend? Get a life and just let people do what they want to do, okay?
One of my favorite parts of the fourth is all the people whining about fireworks. They're always good for a laugh.
The best part of the police chief story (besides your appalling typo) is when he took off for a week from his job at Tieton without telling anyone, and they sent someone to look for him, and they found him serving as police chief in Granite Falls! Police chief of two towns at the same time, nice trick.

His career is over, of course. Buh-bye.
Dominic gives good slog news. Kind of sexy. Kind of cute. Thanks Dominic! Now GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
Oh, and in case you were wondering if anyone outside of Seattle could name a single landmark here, The Fiver, a football column at The Guardian in London, today called "Maradona's entire career a series of safety-netless handstands on the Space Needle":…
Zombies? There's no such thing as a zombie. Only juggalos (which, come to think of it, may actually be worse).
That MA pot law citation of a magistrate in Falmouth reminded me of what happened there three years ago to my parents' doctor, busted for growing pot in his house:…
I'll remember you said that when the revolution comes.
Best landmark is the Fremont Lenin Statue. Fuck the Space Needle.
Juggalos ARE far worse than zombies. I mean, have you ever seen anything as horrifying as this in any zombie flick:…
Juggalos give Dan a little competition:…

Sounds like that 64 year old suffers from premature senility.
The Lenin statue is a great but melancholy landmark, a milestone of Fremont's quickly fading zing. It goes with the Solstice Parade, still fabulous but more a nostalgia act each year, memorializing a time when Fremonters were known for carrying that zest into their daily lives.

The Needle's self-evidently an internationally fabulous icon. I could not love it more if Sergio Ramos sat on top of it waving all day for my birthday, just so I could look up and think, ah, I can't really make out the details of his loveliness, but there he is.
Fucking juggalos, how do they work?
Please, please, please Michael Steele, do not resign! The Dems need you and Palin to keep spouting nonsense!
I suppose that if I were running a "tobacconist" shop in Florida I might consider something like this:

Buy 1 once of Super Premium tobacco for $100 and get your choice of a 2 foot bong FREE!

Buy 1 once of Premium tobacco for $75 and get your choice of a 1 foot bong FREE!

Buy 1 once of Average tobacco for $40 and get your choice of a small bong for FREE!

@17: Your misspelling of "ounce" as "once" is reflecting badly on pot smokers. (I assume you're a pot smoker...)
But smooth racket. I've often considered opening a store where everything is priced double its value but all items are Buy One Get One Free. People probably would shop there.
Oops. I did it more than ounce too! Guilty as charged, Your Honor.
@14 That Space Needle looks pretty pointy, Sergio would probably be more comfortable in your lap, Gus.
Canuck, you are so thoughtful!