Gallagher: Bonus Jokes!

Comments

1
Whoa!
2
And people pay money for this crap? Amazing! Now, that's funny!
3
Amazing that only The Stranger is giving this guy free coverage. No one else even pays attention to him anymore.
4
Is this a comedy routine or an audition for Fox News anchor?
5
Only three of those even drew a mild "heh" from me. The rest were either unfunny or nonsensical.
6
Jesus, that's beyond terrible.

The "pull 'em up" one is about kids wearing baggy pants. He's OBSESSED with kids wearing baggy pants. He must have had a rough 1998. Now he just needs to hurry up and die.
7
“In the old days, God used to talk to people all the time. But not anymore. It’s hard to believe in a God who doesn’t talk to you.”


In the old days, there was a lot more undiagnosed mental illness.

“A man goes to the toilet in the dark like a Polack in a minefield.”


Holy shit, a stupid Pole joke? I've never even seen one in the wild.
8
The only decent joke is the "why is a condom like your wife?" one, and that wasn't even told by the man himself.

Pathetic.
9
You read (I mean, sing) that last line and tell me that this isn't a closeted gay man.
10
But you gotta admit that watermellon shit is fuuuuuuunnaaayy!
11
There is a six flags in Mexico City.
12
The one about "the name of your truck" has my head spinning.
13
I love that he's too fucking stupid to realize how much this reveals about how shitty his life is. It sounds like he never gets laid (would prefer women don't exist at all?) and that he's too big a moron to realize when he's being manipulated.

Joke: Don't you just hate it when millions of people outsmart you every single day and you never learn?
Punchline: Gallagher.
14
@4 ok. That joke was terrible. Not trying to be rude, but if you're knocking someone elses comedy stylings, you better come up with something better than a comparison of conservative views and Fox News. Please review comment 10 for something funny.

15
@11, holy crap, you're right. There is. Beautiful.

Is Gallagher related to Will in Seattle by any chance?
16
I've known Gallagher was an insufferable douchebag for a year or so now, since I read this:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/gallagher…

It's a great interview that really makes clear what a miserable, bitter, prick Gallagher has become (or always was?)
17
It's a small consolation, but it's good to know he's miserable and his entire family hates him.
18
Mexicans are short? Huh?

Please to be explaining the Six Flags in Mexico City joke.
19
@18,

Indigenous Central Americans are quite short. Mexicans with mixed heritage tend to be on the short side. The joke would make more sense if he were talking about why there's no Six Flags in Oaxaca.
20
Thanks for ruining a chunk of my childhood. My stepfather and I used to watch his specials. I never remember him being that insane (but would I as a 10 year old)? I need to memory dump him and leave a blank spot where he was. sad
21
Gallagher: The Andrew Dice Clay of 2010.
22
you realize he is playing the snoqualmie casino july 22nd!

http://eventful.com/snoqualmie/events/ga…
23
That's weird. Why would he play the Snoqualmie Casino and the Admiral Theater in Bremerton within a month of each other?
24
From the little snippets of his standup (if you can call it that) that Lindy has posted here and in her article, he just seems like a bitter, hateful old prick who wants all the gays, women, and brown folks to get off his lawn. But reading that AV Club interview @16 posted, I now think he is certifiably insane. Fucking lunatic.
25
Yes, everyone should read that AV Club interview. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a brilliant piece of performance art. I couldn't be that hypocritical, delusional, and incoherent if I tried. For example:

"To me, as a visual artist, everything that’s in the picture should have meaning—what does a stool and a bottle of water [on stage] mean?...I can’t get through the show without hydrating? How is that funny? It’s just more of the same mediocre, lackadaisical, lack of quality, acceptance of the average that goes on in America. First we allow people to wiggle balloons behind the foul shooter as if it’s okay to win because the audience distracted the visiting team. I thought it was an athletic competition! I didn’t know it was a psychological competition in which you could ring cowbells behind the coach so the coach couldn’t talk to his players. Or that you could put a big “brick” up in the air and psychologically attack the foul shooter, “Oh, don’t be a brick!”"

(Complete with an accompanying audio clip, proving nothing was edited out.)
26
Chevrolet ends in A
27
“I don’t know why them Arabs think they’re so smart coming up with that numbers system.”


That made me laugh out loud.
28
@27, I've been trying to figure out why he would include that in his program.. Either he's really fucking stupid (admittedly, extremely likely) or he secretly admires Arabs in the way he seems to admire men too.

Oh wait, or probably both.
29
@23:

If you're as washed up as Gallagher appears to be, you don't turn down paying gigs, no matter how close together they are in time and location - you simply can't afford NOT to take them.
30
To me, conservative comedians, such as Dennis Miller, Victoria Jackson, Gallagher et al produce the same feelings I get from very vocal homophobic women (you know, the kind of women that would scream "Faggot," etc at somebody - those kind):

They all put out a very creepy vibe. That's about the only way I can describe it.
31
Wait...is he saying Tacoma and Tundra drivers are gay? Everyone who drives trucks made by Toyota, Honda, or Mazda? These are not stereotypes I'm aware of.

Or does he think it's gay to name your truck, say, Jessica?
32
I thought he was dead.
33
Really is sad. Y'all young'uns won't remember, but he actually used to be pretty funny. Like Jay Leno and Eddie Murphy.
34
@28 Counting is for terrorists and fags.