The Offense of Marriage Act

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All just part of the planned setup for Palin 2012.

Joe Szilagyi on July 14, 2010 at 7:04 AM

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

YanaBanana on July 14, 2010 at 7:10 AM

levi, we expected more

Max Solomon on July 14, 2010 at 7:10 AM

what happened to her face?

vooodooo84 on July 14, 2010 at 7:15 AM

Bucks for buttons they're at each other's throats in no time.

Vince on July 14, 2010 at 7:16 AM

Seriously, what the fuck did happen to her face? That doesn't look anything like her. Maybe the pod people got to her.

Fifty-Two-Eighty on July 14, 2010 at 7:18 AM

The kid looks nothing like them. Why is that?

on July 14, 2010 at 7:23 AM

A hundred bucks says the reason for this is that he's already knocked her up again.

Urgutha Forka on July 14, 2010 at 7:26 AM

Go away! Can we have just ONE day a year when we are Sarah Palin free?

former tri-state on July 14, 2010 at 7:27 AM

Seriously, I need to know, did she give birth through her mouth?

vooodooo84 on July 14, 2010 at 7:29 AM

Sarah Palin free, with purchase of another racist wingnut of equal or greater value (i.e., none at all)

Karlheinz Arschbomber on July 14, 2010 at 7:30 AM

That ain't Bristol.

sambone on July 14, 2010 at 7:33 AM

That photo makes her look like her mother.

keshmeshi on July 14, 2010 at 7:38 AM

I thought that was Shannon Doherty for a minute...or maybe a little more than a minute! haha

kristinbell on July 14, 2010 at 7:38 AM

By the way. They say they will practice abstinence until they are married. Isn't that horse already out of the baen? What a big bunch of phonies!

Vince on July 14, 2010 at 7:39 AM

Ooops! I meant barn.

Vince on July 14, 2010 at 7:40 AM

Um, not to defend Bristol Palin or anything, but she's got a new hairstyle, plus she's still a kid, and her face is changing shape. They do that. A thousand pounds of US Weekly Photoshop helps too.

The abstinence thing is hilarious.

Fnarf on July 14, 2010 at 7:56 AM

@1 - I kind of hope you're right. Think of the entertainment factor! Think of the SNL skits!
Just as long as she doesn't have a chance of winning.

been there and back again on July 14, 2010 at 8:02 AM

That kid doesn't look like Levi.

Farts Weird on July 14, 2010 at 8:03 AM

Hey, Doorknob Danny, did you see the story about the sex crazed poodle?

Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown. on July 14, 2010 at 8:03 AM

That blond-haired, blue-eyed toddler is cute: he should be featured on promotional materials to demonstrate the fabulous success of abstinence-only education.

ignatz ratzkywatzky on July 14, 2010 at 8:03 AM

The boy's brilliant, they'll be married for a year or two, divorce, and then he'll get a pay-out. Brilliant.

jmcnyc on July 14, 2010 at 8:06 AM

that kid does not resemble EITHER "parent'...at all.

weatherboy on July 14, 2010 at 8:08 AM

*hurl*

They'll be divorced before the 2012 election.

I feel sorry for the kid.

Reverse Polarity on July 14, 2010 at 8:11 AM

I wonder how much they paid him so Palin can trot out her perfect little family during at all her campaign stops. Way to sell out you fucking townie.

Rotten666 on July 14, 2010 at 8:15 AM

at least they can have sex know and keep the speaker fees and endorsement deals

on July 14, 2010 at 8:27 AM

Wait a second. I thought Levi Johnston was still dating Kathy Griffin.

ash557 on July 14, 2010 at 8:39 AM

murder-suicide within the year.

p.s. baby needs a tan

nixor on July 14, 2010 at 8:45 AM

My theory is that the RNC paid for some plastic surgery and after the election had it returned like all of Palin's clothes

vooodooo84 on July 14, 2010 at 8:50 AM

Re: her face: I figure it's like all those Teen America pageants -- girls made up to look like 40-year-old trophy wives. They either (A) decided she needed to look more motherly or (B) that's just US Weekly's cruddy sense of "beauty" that's appropriate for a young girl. It's not exactly a chic magazine.

Gloria on July 14, 2010 at 9:16 AM

Wait, didn't they like ... hate each other?

Delishuss on July 14, 2010 at 9:17 AM

Why do you people have to be so snide, really? All I see here is a beautiful, healthy, intelligent family. Yeah maybe they're capitalizing a little on undeserved fame, but isn't that in the best American tradition of taking opportunities where they are found? Levi Johnston for President 2036!

Zergling Supermodel on July 14, 2010 at 9:20 AM

@31: Since when has that ever stopped people from fucking each other?

Fifty-Two-Eighty on July 14, 2010 at 9:23 AM

I'm waiting for the reaction from Team Griffin.

Soupytwist on July 14, 2010 at 9:29 AM

I wonder how much US paid them for that cover photo and the exclusive article. I suspect Levi realized he could make orders of magnitude more more money as part of the family. Still to come are the exlusive covers as mom blows her stack, the family makes up, the wedding, etc. This could be a major cash cow for the kids.

knitpicker on July 14, 2010 at 9:31 AM

Yah, that kid doesn't look like either of them. I say they kidnapped him from Sweden!

kristinbell on July 14, 2010 at 9:37 AM

@32 Ha, "intelligent" I just shot cheerios out my nose

vooodooo84 on July 14, 2010 at 9:39 AM

@25: i thought 'townies' were kids attending college in rural settings. levi barely finished a GED.

Max Solomon on July 14, 2010 at 9:39 AM

Looks like Levi spent all of his nude photo money. Time for a new high-paying gig.

Summerisle on July 14, 2010 at 9:42 AM

No, Max, the "townies" are the ones who live in college towns but don't attend the college.

Fifty-Two-Eighty on July 14, 2010 at 9:43 AM

@38, no, townies are the local yokels in college towns who don't go to the college for intellectual or socio-economic reasons. There's no colleges in Wasilla, though; I think it's illegal to read there.

Fnarf on July 14, 2010 at 9:45 AM

I want nothing more than to respect the private lives of the Palins. I wish they would let me.

bleedingheartlibertarian on July 14, 2010 at 10:00 AM

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG
HNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN NGGGGGGGG

:pant pant:

Come on dznqbit, care!!!

UNNNNNNNNNGGCCCCCCC

dznqbit on July 14, 2010 at 10:25 AM

That kid looks like a Sarah Palin/Glen Beck love child.

SurlyYurmom on July 14, 2010 at 10:34 AM

I wonder what "US" payed for the exclusive?

thatsnotright on July 14, 2010 at 10:40 AM

think I'm gonna start taking bets on the wedding date. I'm reserving the period around the NH and OH primaries, along with the 2 months before the election.

on July 14, 2010 at 11:01 AM

@42 - I am so with you there!

sanguisuga on July 14, 2010 at 11:03 AM

Nothing more than they realized they still have the hots for each other. Since Bristol has taken a public abstinence until marriage pledge they have to get married so they can have sex again.

atlantaqueer on July 14, 2010 at 11:23 AM

@44 Ewwwww, **shudder**! That thought was even more revolting than the story though. AND I was eating!

mran on July 14, 2010 at 11:51 AM

@32 - Trailer Trash family more like it.

Andrewl on July 14, 2010 at 11:58 AM

This isn't real, is it?

very bad homo on July 14, 2010 at 12:34 PM

Oh god, my subscription to US Weekly expires this month. I'm trying so, so hard not to renew it, but issues like this make it awfully hard.

TVDinner on July 14, 2010 at 12:45 PM

Yes, pure fundie logic: Be abstinent until marriage, so you can be a good example TO YOUR SON.

Oh and anybody who buys the "secret engagement" thing contact me, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.

Lynx on July 14, 2010 at 5:15 PM

I'm no biologist or anything, but I'm pretty sure that genes don't work that way. Something tells me that the baby is borrowed.

Milbury on July 14, 2010 at 5:27 PM

@Max: Didn't you ever see "Breaking Away"? (one of my favorite movies of 1979)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1jzs6dk4…

emma's bee on July 14, 2010 at 6:32 PM

I've been grinning all day, thinking about how Sarah had kittens when she found out about this!

My Name Here on July 14, 2010 at 7:00 PM

This is totally beside the point, but does anyone else think it's odd that Bristol and Levi are both brown-eyed brunettes, and their son is blonde w/ blue eyes?

CTlady on July 14, 2010 at 7:30 PM

My reaction: http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/5757/…

venomlash on July 14, 2010 at 7:38 PM

Is it just me or does he not look at all happy about this?

Arkham on July 14, 2010 at 9:26 PM

@31 That'd be Sarah who hates Levi, I think.

And we never did get to see his peener :(

ForkyMcSpoon on July 14, 2010 at 10:53 PM

Upon reading more on the article, it would appear this could prove to be a profitable move for this couple. Seems they are in talks to be slotted for a reality show (just what the world needs - another fucking reality show, staring the Wasilla Hillbillies), about young parents and up through their wedding.

I've seriously come to the conclusion that some people just seem to get smacked with the fucking Lucky-Stick of life.

In other words, there's no explaining shit like this...

Frau Blucher on July 15, 2010 at 5:34 AM

i am a brown-eyed, dark-skinned, dark-haired person. but i had blond hair for a few years when i was really young.
happens.

onion on July 15, 2010 at 7:11 AM

Now that Poontang Palin Jr. is making some money off her twattle, Levi's back for a piece.

libraboy on July 15, 2010 at 9:49 AM

@57 - two brown-eyed parents often produce a blue-eyed child, since either parent can be carrying the gene for blue eyes as a recessive (unexpressed). The common misperception is that two blue-eyed parents cannot produce a brown-eyed child, but that is not actually true. It's rare, but it does happen.

http://www.thetech.org/genetics/ask.php?…

Geni on July 15, 2010 at 10:07 AM

@57: Not really. If both parents carry the recessive genes for light hair and blue eyes, they can certainly have such a kid. Punnett squares!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punnett_squ…

Gloria on July 16, 2010 at 9:30 AM

Good luck. I hope those kids can beat the odds and find ways to be happy, healthy, contributing members of society. They're young yet. They might get less stupid when their adult brains grow in.

DRF on July 16, 2010 at 9:51 AM

All this does is convince me that though we may underestimate her intellectual capabilities, Sarah really has a flair for publicity.

Delishuss on July 16, 2010 at 3:18 PM

Oh, C'mon! Does anybody with two brain cells to rub together really care about these two anymore?

catseye on July 16, 2010 at 3:52 PM

The Offense of Marriage Act

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