Reads like SGN.

It does....it does read like SGN.

What did Signorile call it? The hyper-masculine clone aesthetic?

I don't know who Mike Alvear is but he's an idiot, shit-for-brains dipstick. Not to make a whole thing out of this, but his whole article is the kind of ugly masturbation that makes you doubt the value of streaming video...or of reading.

The article just makes me sad.

I like how the article has a bunch of keyword generated ads for how to tell if your husband is gay.

I'm glad to read the comments here and there because the author seems like a clueless ass.

That was a shittily written piece of shite written by a stupid shithead.

I'm frankly astonished that some editorial entity at Huffington Post approved his diatribe for publication. This reads more like an angry LiveJournal entry about why he can't find a man willing to meet his masculine standards.

Hell, I consider myself relatively masculine, and long ago, I thought much along the lines of that idiot. I was stupid too. While certain mannerisms might not appeal to me, it's not my role to be an authority on mannerisms and tell people what is and is not "too gay" or "too effeminate." If someone is too effeminate to be appealing to me, so what? They'll find the right guy, they weren't put on this earth to please me and this idiot blogger.

It takes some real balls to stand up and tell everyone that they need to be more appealing. That the public is not doing what he wants them to do. I hope he matures and realizes that people are just fucking people.

I know plenty of honestly straight men that have mannerisms he would cringe at, who have worn drag to a Halloween party as a joke, whatever. If those straight people can deal with effeminate people, so can he.

Nut up, Mike Alvear, and stop being such a needy sissy.

Dude isn't turned on by effeminate men = beauty of individual difference. He doesn't need to insist that his opinion is fact.

Now, I happen to find men who are confident enough in themselves to dress as they feel or allow themselves to be dressed up for the whim of another very sexy. So, therefore, because I find kissing a man with lipsticked lips delicious, then lipsticked men are sexy to everyone, Mr. Alvear.

He needs to remember that opinions are just like ...

He's right. But it's not his fault that he's right. There is no male sexual aesthetic. Men have for the past few thousand years been developing quite the sophisticated female aesthetic, but the male sexual aesthetic ended its development with the Greeks and has been ignored since then. This is how I read it. This is important to all men, gay or straight.

In anticipation of all of the offended responses, as a brave (but cowardly) man I offer this rebuttal. Fuck you all--in the most painful ways possible. It offends me to my soul that it cannot be readily conceived of men an effective sexual aesthetic. And seeing as males have predominantly been the artists of all civilization, it is a shame that we all share together. Perhaps ironically, I learned, without any assistance from the idiots who should have been there, every sense of love, joy, pain, and pleasure from Homer, who so rigorously loved the heroes of his works. I interpret the universe in that light. Right now, I am mourning the death of Ajax whose brother, Teucer, takes up the spear--when the gods shatter his mighty bow--enough to match the Apollon himself. You vulgi cannot conceive a universe in which is possible such great joys and woes, and I have been ever-so-lucky to have been a part of the reading of Homer.

Does he think that maybe "Larry" was conforming to expectations of the heterosexual world? Like, maybe, all the machismo was an affectation to hide his gayness? And he "became a fruit" once he came out because he finally could? Maybe. Who knows. Just a theory.

Alvear is trying to sell his book. Putting everyone down is the norm for self-help shills like this queen.

Swap out the nouns, and it practically reads like the wives who fell in love with their men before their men starting disappearing on weekends, racking up hotel bills, shaving their legs, having "another woman" in their lives, wearing panty hose, and referring to themselves in the third-person voice when referring to themselves as the men they are — that is, while dolled-up in super-girly clothes. This, of course, happens just a little while before they insist their children should start calling them "maddy" and suggest their wives take up becoming "lesbians".

Sounds like a different feather from the same cultural sway (phase?) of masculine liberation. Sounds like a guy thing. Someone with experience in either care to elaborate?

He seems to just be noticing what he's noticing. This article might was well be called "ever notice that Prius drivers seem slow and distracted?"

What a crap article Dan linked to. Yet another example of someone's very limited and narrow opinion put forth as fact. OMG! There are femmy guys out there and they must be stopped before they ruin faggotry for the rest of us! This guy is just like any typical right-wing shill. They tend to take a bias or personal preference and turn it into something we all need to conform to and be concerned about maintaining.

I've never heard of Mike Alvear, but he sounds to me like a total douche. It takes a shitload of courage to be an effeminate gay guy at a time when our culture is obsessed with hetero-normative homosexuality. This Alvear guy is a cum dumpster of conventional wisdom. The biggest flaming sissy in the world is more of a man than that shallow hack-of-a-writer will ever be.

For the record, I love femme guys. And most sissy guys are heterosexual, to use the word of the day. And thank you, Dan Savage, for telling me that, otherwise I never would have acted on my attraction, assuming they were all gay.

I do have a question, though--do femme gay guys generally like to bottom? Because I've found that crossdressers are generally into pegging. Hopefully my generalization is not as offensive as his article.

The gays want classic masculinity? Great! How's about you do me a favor and haul off all the "bros" for me and convert 'em to cock sucking, k? Ya know, the ones who seldom bathe, have beer guts, and nacho cheese stains on their sports teams shirts? Yeh, I can do without that sort of "masculinity" among the straight dudes. It's aaaall yours - enjoy!

My grandma always said, "There's no accounting for taste."

I've been out for years now and I'm still hopelessly not a fruit. I try to have fashion sense, I don't. I can't even fake a gay lisp (I end up doing a bad valley girl impersonation...) I've also never had the slightest desire to do drag (so low is my interest in cross-dressing, I must admit that I didn't really like Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert very much...sorry for letting all you other fags down).

That said, after all that, I do like a guy who's got some swish. A bit of the lisp, floppy wrists, tight jeans, and a love for Sex And The City...I find it really quite endearing. I'll skip the drag shows, though.

He says all that, and I hear whine, whine, whine, BAWWWWW.

9/Kim: So, therefore, because I find kissing a man with lipsticked lips delicious...

Interesting. I bet that puts you in the minority of women. I think most women would be freaked out by a guy with lipstick and would think he was "secretly gay."

20/Confluence: ...the ones who seldom bathe, have beer guts, and nacho cheese stains on their sports teams shirts? Yeh, I can do without that sort of "masculinity" among the straight dudes.

I'm sure most women don't like that aspect of masculine men. But they still like masculinity. I think any effeminate qualities straight men have are a real turn-off to most women.

Roma @ 24,

Perhaps, but if I'm painting his lovely mouth and then kissing that lipstick off, then, I'm not worrying about a thing. He's lovely and he's mine.

@25 Kim, Roma clearly needs to visit fetlife.com (and maybe kink.com too, why not?). While you may be in the minority, there's a whole wide world of preferences and fetishes just waiting to be discovered and cherished. It's not what others find hot, but what we and our partners do for each other that makes it hot.

So Kim, party on and kiss that red mouth! Seek and ye shall find. :)

Kim & Libraboy, I wasn't suggesting that being in the minority regarding an interest (sexual or otherwise) is bad or something to worry about. In fact, I think it's great, Kim, that you find that delicious. Just saying that I believe a minority of women would accept, or get turned on by, a guy who was "feminine" in some way.

Kim used the example of a guy with lipstick. How about another example, straight guys who like to dress up in women's clothing? Think most women would find that hot? I doubt it.

Thank you, Libraboy. Minority or majority? Neither matter to me. I adore men, compassionate and intelligent men with laugh lines; the rest is gravy, delicious gravy.

Kim, I love the way you spank those words into shape! LOL! Too right.

I better stop this lovefest before people start complaining.

Roma,

Hot to me. But then I don't mind dressing in drag myself. Loved it as a dancer.

My overall point was really about how I tend to think it silly to think one's opinion is a fact. While our opinion may speak for many, it doesn't speak for all.

Now back to my whisky!

While our opinion may speak for many, it doesn't speak for all.

Kim, I agree but I also didn't see the writer claiming that "all" masculine men don't like effeminate men. What he wrote was: "Effeminate men may lust for their masculine counterparts but most masculine men don't return the favor."

He's allowing that some masculine men are attracted to effeminate men. It may very well be true that "most" masculine gay men aren't attracted to effeminate gay men (in the same way I'm contending that "most" women are not attracted to effeminate straight men.)

We should be wary of using words like "always", "never", "all", "everyone" or "nobody." But things are also seldom 50/50. There is usually a majority and a minority. Some women like anal but most very likely don't. Some guys like women who are really fat, but most very likely don't.

@27 Roma, I've always thought men with a bit of makeup looked cool (not foundation, but a bit of eyeliner/lipstick?...booyah!) But I wonder if that comes from seeing the midnight show of the Rocky Horror Picture Show as often as I could as a teenager? And thinking Tim Curry was totally hot, but only in drag...I can, however, confirm that that gene was passed on to my daughter, as she sighed wistfully upon leaving the theatre after seeing Kinky Boots: "I wish *my* best friend were a transvestite."

Ultimately it all comes down to preferences. Everyone has them, whether you're straight or gay. And everyone, rightly or not, is "classified" in one way or another. While I don't consider myself overtly "butch", I am masculine. It's not an affectation; it's just who I am. People who don't know I'm gay never suspect.

That being said, I am generally attracted to men like myself. But I can assure you my preferences can be situational. A good example would our own beloved Dan Savage. If you watch his YouTube vids you'll notice that he has some mild "femme" qualities. His voice, some of his hand gestures. But I can assure you that were the opportunity to present itself I would bend him over and fuck his brains out (or bend over and let him fuck me until I'm speechless) in a heartbeat. On the other hand, my dick goes limp at the thought of Clay Aiken or Perez Hilton. Go figure. Soooo.... what say you, Loveschild? I know you're out there reading!

Thanks Canuck. You've reminded me of Nestor Carbonell, who played Richard Alpert on Lost. There were a lot of assertions that he wore eyeliner but he and the Lost producers swore that he didn't/doesn't.

Roma,

I don't disagree. I think you are more interested in the "majority" perspective and that's only my observation, not a complaint. I'm personally not interested in what the "majority" thinks. I'm interested in justice and equality; the beauty of individual differences delight me.

So when you say I'm a minority in thinking a man with lipstick or in drag is sexy. I'm not disagreeing with you, because being in the minority or majority does not interest me. I also find rugby players in uniform sexy, and that fact might fall under the majority. Being in the majority does not interest me either. Being authentic, having integrity, acting justly and compassionately are things that interest me. Where I stand on the scale is not important, it is how I stand that matters.

I hope this makes sense. I have have put a couple of drams under my belt.

Have a great weekend. Best wishes.

Christ, what an asshole. Looks like the male gays are just going to have to start tailoring their self-expression to one random dude's Male Gaze.

@25:
Kim, I am sooooo jealous of you right now.

Kim, I'm actually more interested in the minority perspective. I find it more interesting when someone differs from the norm than when they're part of it.

I understand it when you say "Where I stand on the scale is not important, it is how I stand that matters." because I feel that way about my interests, sexual or otherwise, too. But when I look at everyone, at human behavior, then I'm interested in where people are on the scale/bell curve/etc.

I am what you can be considered as a faggy guy , mild mannered, soft voice, not the butch kind of man, i am not into drag and i dress quite conservatively and deodorant and after shave are the only products I use. But one thing I can tell you the discrimination I received from my own community (gay) exceeded by far the ones i received from the straight community and to my dismay and great suffering i found much more racism in the gay community than in the real world ! Mon dieu que c'est triste et laid.

More than anything, I just can't figure out what point this guy is trying to make. Okay, you think that everyone thinks effeminate gay guys are unattractive. Aside from being an asshole, what's your point?

Put me on the list of gay guys who are often attracted to femmy guys. And butch guys. Oddly enough, I'm actually attracted to a bunch of different guys! Weird!

And @41: Keep in mind that PEOPLE are dicks. There are just as many jerks in the gay community as there are in the straight community. As with any other group, you need to seek out the gay folks who don't give a shit if you're a different race or effeminate as long as you're a nice guy who is fun to be around.