Slog Jul 29, 2010 10:23 AM

This Priest Is Thinking About Your Kids and Grandkids Getting Buttfucked

by Dan Savage

Comments

1
All that is longstanding Church policy (er, teaching). They've opposed sex education, condom distribution, birth control and abortion for centuries, not just decades, so opposing anything acknowledging that gays aren't just dirty sinners fits right in. Bigoted straights will just tune out any of the other stuff and go "right on!" when priests talk about teh gays.
Matt from Denver on July 29, 2010 at 10:43 AM · Report this
2
Yes, sex is a dirty, filthy, horrible thing - except when they're the ones doing it.
Fifty-Two-Eighty on July 29, 2010 at 10:50 AM · Report this
3
Father Michael is just a bit confused. First he says that being gay is NOT a choice, but he doesn't believe gays are born that way. Then he does a 180 and says it IS a choice. Yeah, he's credible.
Jaydog5280 on July 29, 2010 at 10:59 AM · Report this
4
Ha! You said "rectory."
on July 29, 2010 at 11:04 AM · Report this
5
What a lunatic. "Dignity?" and that's coming from a Priest?
gw98101 on July 29, 2010 at 11:10 AM · Report this
6
Are they still guilt tripping kids by teaching that if you masturbate you are committing a mortal sin and will burn in hell?
PaulBarwick on July 29, 2010 at 11:15 AM · Report this
7
If you've got dignity when you're having sex, you're not doing it right.
samanthaf63 on July 29, 2010 at 11:16 AM · Report this
8
The father said that he is heterosexual. I thought that priests were supposed to be asexual. I also think that he protests too much regarding whether or not he could choose to be gay.
Barbara on July 29, 2010 at 11:29 AM · Report this
9
I'm getting a real bad creepy vibe from this guy.
sirkowski on July 29, 2010 at 11:41 AM · Report this
10
I like that he looks to science for proof that people are "born gay" and yet has no interest in proving anything about his religious choice....
bpinsea on July 29, 2010 at 11:43 AM · Report this
11
@8 - Priests don't have to be asexual (no sexual desire), they just have to be celibate (no sex).

Gah, this guy demonstrates so well why priests should NOT be counseling people with sexual relationship issues, which is something they do a lot. They have no fucking clue on what goes into a relationship and/or have very screwed up views on what a relationship even is. Even my 83 YO catholic MIL thinks priests are totally non-qualified to counsel couples on their relationship issues.

Many years ago I went to pre-marital counseling with a catholic priest (to please the relatives) and it was as bad as this.
been there and back again on July 29, 2010 at 11:45 AM · Report this
12
@6 Not sure about burning in hell, but I'm pretty sure a kitten dies every time you do it...at least that's what it says on the fridge magnet I bought my son.
Canuck on July 29, 2010 at 11:48 AM · Report this
13
If I were a priest, I'd leave out lectures on sex.
Vince on July 29, 2010 at 11:52 AM · Report this
14
Forgive me Father, but I really can't take the "advice" of an organization that insists the only purpose of sex is to create more followers for itself.

Especially, when so many of its representatives have proven to be patently incapable of following their own advice...
COMTE on July 29, 2010 at 12:02 PM · Report this
15
I get bad vibes from this guy. The way he starts shifting his weight back and forth when being pressed on his own sexuality and whether or not it is preset or chosen puts my radar on alert.

Also, gotta love how he universalizes a personal experience, and deems anything falling outside of that experience as unhealthy, dirty, sinful.
samktg on July 29, 2010 at 12:03 PM · Report this
16
Was I first person to be thrown off when he said, "Yeah, it looks like he's gay. Totally gay hairstyle."

I wonder if the hairstyles are sinful too.
Alea on July 29, 2010 at 12:16 PM · Report this
17
i've decided to live my life "in a gay way" for the rest of the day today.
mr. herriman on July 29, 2010 at 12:20 PM · Report this
18
"[...] marriage between one man and one woman, which is a fundamental building block of our culture and something that is a treasure that we should protect and promote."

And how does the Catholic church protect and promote this treasure? Oh, right, by forbidding its own employees to do it, telling people they only get one shot and if they make a bad choice they're screwed for life, and insisting that once you are in this precious union, you have to pretty much pump out a baby a year because you're not allowed to do anything to prevent that from happening.

Great PR job. Can't wait to sign up.
Sketch on July 29, 2010 at 12:25 PM · Report this
19
why doesn't the Catholic church engage more heavily in this campaign against hetero oral sex? That would be interesting...

Also - if the problem is one person being "an instrument" - is 69 OK?
If so, maybe we can convince the Catholic church the anal sex with reach-around is OK, too?
This is all so complicated!
adam.smith on July 29, 2010 at 12:32 PM · Report this
20
My fingers are starting to get tired of typing the whole of "doth protest too much" so frequently. As much as we don't need any more acronymns, seeing a crazy guy waving a bible and yelling in the street could easily be refered to as a "DPTM situation."
Normal Adjacent on July 29, 2010 at 12:55 PM · Report this
21
Isn't a catholic priest house called a presbytery? Though, obviously, rectory is the more anatomically correct name
Diane Sauce on July 29, 2010 at 1:08 PM · Report this
22
Mark 12:38 And he said unto them in his doctrine, Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing, and love salutations in the marketplaces.
Winspur on July 29, 2010 at 1:51 PM · Report this
23
The logic of this is so convoluted. So it's bad to have anal/oral sex because "pleasure reigns supreme" & one person is selfishly getting all the pleasure, which is bad. But presumably, the person giving the oral sex or offering up his/her anus is being extra UN-selfish by catering to someone else's pleasure... but the priest doesn't mention that for some reason. You'd think the bottoms and cocksuckers would get some credit for being so generous. This priest is arguing against selfishness, but he assumes that it's a huge sacrifice to spend a few minutes pleasuring your partner. This is why virgins shouldn't give sex advice.
Gudrun Brangwen on July 29, 2010 at 2:06 PM · Report this
24
@ 23 Also, while I've never been a man bottoming for anal, it was my understanding that most of the guys who do it enjoy doing so? Something about the prostate being great fun? Or, one assumes, some might also just enjoy the closeness, or other things that may be going on at the same time.
Sketch on July 29, 2010 at 2:25 PM · Report this
25
Brainwashed by two-thousand years of Fucked-Up.
Bauhaus I on July 29, 2010 at 2:45 PM · Report this
26
Will someone PLEASE start using different logic when debating these people?! When Fr. Phobo started talking about how people with same-sex attraction can embrace the blessings of chastity, why couldn't the interview say: left-handedness was once thought to be sinful and "of the devil"... would you ask a left-handed person to suddenly do everything right-handed? After all, science hasn't yet "proven" what causes left-handedness, either!
mistereks on July 29, 2010 at 4:57 PM · Report this
27
@26: Hey, at least when superstitious wackos force southpaws to use their right hands, the lefties get the benefit of being ambidextrous. All that "ex-gay" therapy does it cause stress, depression, and, I imagine, a lingering sense of an unfulfilled life.
venomlash on July 29, 2010 at 8:10 PM · Report this
28
@27: You might be surprised at what would happen if lefties had to do everything right-handed. Virtually all would become more ambidextrous to some degree, but there would be a lot of fallout: indecipherable handwriting causing confusion, dropped items, more accidents. But most important, fighting the mind's natural tendencies can't help but cause some psychic damage.
mistereks on July 29, 2010 at 9:01 PM · Report this
29
Seriously, he's making Catholics look bad... to say that being gay was caused by bad parenting is a very offensive insult to my family... and no I wasn't abused as a child, nor was I brought up in a society where being gay was displayed as normal (I think the first 10 years of my life I heard the word 'gay' only about 5 times (and never was it in a positive way) ... I can honestly say that no one ever tried to confuse me with the idea that I might be gay... I just was, even if I didn't realise it at the time. And as far as whether or not you were born gay, even Southern country star Dolly Parton, has said that being gay was the way God made them and that a real Christian would not be so judgemental.
ydrwsdu11 on July 29, 2010 at 11:38 PM · Report this
30
Major heresy! God didn't make anal sex? "Maker of Heaven and Earth, of all things seen and unseen..."
Calcaneum on July 30, 2010 at 11:30 AM · Report this
31
Can't we just start calling the place where priests live the "rectumry"?
Geek Porn Girl on July 30, 2010 at 6:07 PM · Report this
32
It'd be nice if they let Catholic priests off the hook for that whole chastity thing. The official tolerance for buggering children would go right down if they had a vent for all that unexpressed sexual tension.
Happy the Homophobe on July 31, 2010 at 2:26 AM · Report this
33
Funny. I don't remember him mentioning this at the bathhouse this weekend.
marc010 on August 2, 2010 at 1:01 PM · Report this
34
You just have to pick and choose your clerics wisely. I always tried to find a priest who did indeed have some relationship experience (and they are out there, believe me), dated someone (M or F, doesn't matter), and understood how human interaction is fully complementary. Most priests and nuns/sisters don't have a lot of life experience since they often enter from high school. As a result, their human socialization is far from well-rounded. I suspect this priest never dated anyone seriously. He lacks a certain empathy and awareness of human sexual and interpersonal relationships. It's sad. And it's why I prefer listening to married clerics rather than celibate Roman Catholic priests.
on August 5, 2010 at 3:51 AM · Report this
35
"[...] marriage between one man and one woman, which is a fundamental building block of our culture and something that is a treasure that we should protect and promote."

And how does the Catholic church protect and promote this treasure? Oh, right, by forbidding its own employees to do it, telling people they only get one shot and if they make a bad choice they're screwed for life, and insisting that once you are in this precious union, you have to pretty much pump out a baby a year because you're not allowed to do anything to prevent that from happening.

Great PR job. Can't wait to sign up.

Byzantines Catholics can be married priests, and if you are already married and become a priest, you allowed to stay married, annulments happens daily and are quiet easy to get and natural family planning is quite easy you just need to keep track of your cycle. You can only get prego one day per month.
Lovetruth on August 10, 2010 at 7:47 PM · Report this
36
"[...] marriage between one man and one woman, which is a fundamental building block of our culture and something that is a treasure that we should protect and promote."

And how does the Catholic church protect and promote this treasure? Oh, right, by forbidding its own employees to do it, telling people they only get one shot and if they make a bad choice they're screwed for life, and insisting that once you are in this precious union, you have to pretty much pump out a baby a year because you're not allowed to do anything to prevent that from happening.

Great PR job. Can't wait to sign up.

Byzantines Catholics can be married priests, and if you are already married and become a priest, you allowed to stay married, annulments happens daily and are quiet easy to get and natural family planning is quite easy you just need to keep track of your cycle. You can only get prego one day per month.
Lovetruth on August 10, 2010 at 7:51 PM · Report this
37
"[...] marriage between one man and one woman, which is a fundamental building block of our culture and something that is a treasure that we should protect and promote."

And how does the Catholic church protect and promote this treasure? Oh, right, by forbidding its own employees to do it, telling people they only get one shot and if they make a bad choice they're screwed for life, and insisting that once you are in this precious union, you have to pretty much pump out a baby a year because you're not allowed to do anything to prevent that from happening.

Great PR job. Can't wait to sign up.

Byzantines Catholics can be married priests, and if you are already married and become a priest, you allowed to stay married, annulments happens daily and are quiet easy to get and natural family planning is quite easy you just need to keep track of your cycle. You can only get prego one day per month.
Lovetruth on August 10, 2010 at 7:51 PM · Report this
38
"[...] marriage between one man and one woman, which is a fundamental building block of our culture and something that is a treasure that we should protect and promote."

And how does the Catholic church protect and promote this treasure? Oh, right, by forbidding its own employees to do it, telling people they only get one shot and if they make a bad choice they're screwed for life, and insisting that once you are in this precious union, you have to pretty much pump out a baby a year because you're not allowed to do anything to prevent that from happening.

Great PR job. Can't wait to sign up.

Byzantines Catholics can be married priests, and if you are already married and become a priest, you allowed to stay married, annulments happens daily and are quiet easy to get and natural family planning is quite easy you just need to keep track of your cycle. You can only get prego one day per month.
Lovetruth on August 10, 2010 at 7:51 PM · Report this