Video Games Make Abstinence Awesome


Now THAT is a badass toupee! It totally brings out the butter color in his teeth.
Why is the National Institutes of Health spending $434,800 on a birth control method that doesn't work in modern society?
Why do they hate sexy Latinas so?
Waitaminute. I mean, videogames aren't like laser mind control machines- they don't make us shoot up schools or vote for Nader, but the one thing they can definitively DO is make people want to have sex. You can't turn that kind of thing around! I mean, I didn't come out of Dragon Age wanting to major in international relations, but holy cow, I wanted to find the nearest Spaniard and RAVISH HIM.

This.... cannot end well.

hoping to use the medium to train preteen Latinas in the dark arts of abstinence

I just shot hot tea out of my nose! Well done.

robert culp is back from the dead?
Just introduce them to a MMORPG, and let abstinence take it's course.
I wonder if they'll emphasize that oral sex and mutual masturbation are safer alternatives to intercourse as well?

(That's a rhetorical question... I already know the answer is no).
This makes sense. I work in IT and I can tell you straight up that people who play a lot of video games don't get laid as much.